Category: Uncategorized

After a week of arguing politics and religion with my ultra conservative yet oddly welcoming family, I found the mention of Chester Brown’s new graphic novel particularly interesting. It appeared on my Twitter feed and I read a few short articles about it. It’s called Mary Wept Over Jesus’ Feet and it’s look at biblical texts from the perspective of a religious historian. It appears to challenge quite a few mainstream assumptions, most intriguingly the one where Jesus’ feet were his actual feet, not his cock. Jesus spent his time among people such as I, preaching ‘why can’t we all just stop killing each other?’ I, personally resonate with the story of Christ’s life and with much of the biblical wisdom set side-by-side with racism and mysogyny; an alternative look at the biblical stories would be both interesting and refreshing. Hint to a certain tome manager ;-P

My recent socializing with my family brought back all sorts of memories and feelings from when I was growing up. I once again feel incredibly fortunate to be accepted by my family, at least the ones that matter, despite my opposing viewpoints. My mother and I, in fact, enjoy rousing discussions with one another, always learning from each other and ending every disagreement with a reinforcement of our love and respect for each other. I sometimes feel bad for everyone else watching because my mother is very well read and self educated and I am very quick to leap from idea to idea so our dialogue is constantly evolving, staying on an idea long enough to explain it but moving faster than many of my family members can follow. I also love that she absorbs ideas and lets them churn over time so she will revisit something we talked about six months ago and have new insights to share.

That perception is also dangerous; she knows me so well that she strongly suspects the true nature of my work. I wish I could invite her to see it from my perspective, to acknowledge the healing and meaning I often find and give in my work but to her she sees only destruction, deceit, shame, and the slow surrendering of my soul.

I’m. Not sure why I’m sharing this. It’s quite personal and if she read this… Hi, Mom. I hope you read the rest of my blog, too, and I hope it opens your eyes to my world. My beautiful, weird world full of adoration, kindness, authenticity, joy, anger (at laws keeping me from doing good while doing well), and fear (that I will be found out and all I’ve worked for will be lost.)

My resolutions are to start riding my bicycle again, save more than I did in 2015, and travel. I hope yours are equally possible, bring you joy, and that you reach them. Best wishes and have a happy new year!

New post! First substantive post in ages and I apologize to those who attempt to follow my blog for the total lack of updates over the last little while. Classes have kept me busy enough that my free time has been spent in mindless game mode and also staying up too late and being sluggish in the morning.

You may have noticed some updates to my website. I have removed the policies/procedures page and added an FAQ page. I feel the informality of FAQs serves me better than the intimidation of a formal policies page. It is a fine line to walk between inviting the shy to participate fully in a sensual and entertaining experience and discouraging those feeling as if their special snowflake qualities allow them to ignore, bend, or attempt to break my comfort zone. The vast majority of you do not fall into this category. I can assure you, if you enter my space with anticipation but no expectation, you are not among the benders or the breakers.

I have also made some changes to my rate structure. Because of the convenience and general awesomeness of my new incall, I am happy to roll out a 60 minute sensual touch experience. I have been on an evolutionary path towards being a therapeutic massage practitioner and in that journey I began to focus more on the deep tissue therapeutic massage than the lighter, more teasing sensual aspect. I realize that it takes different strokes for different folks and so I am beginning to (continuing on the evolutionary trend) diverge in session type from one common ancestor to two general descendants: FBSM and FBST.

When I think Full Body Sensual Massage, I think a quiet room, soft music, dim lighting, and firm strokes stretching and kneading the tension from your back, legs, and shoulders. There is a moment (or ten ;-P) of sensual contact between two bodies, one atop the other, pressing our selves together in tranquility and mounting arousal, then a release and a slow descent, all in the atmosphere of quiet, dim calm. The social aspect is downplayed or reserved for before/after and the arousal and release are part of the relaxation therapy, not the focus of the session. Your responsibility in this session is to relax and allow yourself to be pampered and treated, as you richly deserve. In order to address your entire body fully, without rushing, I find ninety minutes is the least I can manage.

When I imagine Full Body Sensual Touch, I think of giggling, moving, back and forth between teasing and tickling, flirtation, sustained arousal, interaction, and more vibrant energy. I imagine sharing a drink and a huge hug, lots of kissing and perhaps some hot grinding. It’s all about full body contact between two people restricting themselves to their teenaged experiences of fumbling enthusiasm and ‘chaste’ activity. I feel the naughty delight of holding ourselves back and taking pleasure in touch, wherever it may lead.

Keep in mind that these are two descendants of the same session. There will always be shared characteristics between the two, but I have (finally) realized that there are two very different ‘vibes’ for two very different sessions. I am able to create either experience and a range of experiences in between, I only need to know which suits your mood better. You can always change your mind or combine aspects of both, there are no hard and fast rules here.

As always, social time either on the couch or in the little cuddle closet (the one at the new place is much smaller, more like a ‘lounge closet’ so be aware) is always an available addition before or after at 50/hh. I highly encourage social time before a therapeutic session to give your mind time to clear. I also encourage you to consider ‘dessert’ first as the endorphin release can be a great assistant in the relaxation response. I’m developing a case study idea involving the benefits of release before/after therapeutic touch to enhance relaxation effects. I’ll publish more once I get it solidified and hone the techniques I need to accurately track progress. I’ll be soliciting volunteers once I get the experimental design ready 😉

This blog post started with this thought, then I derailed it with my updates. In any case, I hope you enjoy my mind rovings 🙂

Are you a spiritualist or a skeptic? I ask because the explanation which makes sense is different for the two, but the outcome is the same.

For the spiritualist: We are connected deeply to each other and feel each other’s energy flows. We pick up on signals our bodies give each other and those signals, those first few signals we send each other, dictate in a great deal how we relate to one another. If our energy comes from a place of reservation, shyness, or insecurity, we convey that fearful energy to those we meet. We tell them we are afraid and make ourselves vulnerable to them. If we carry strong, confident energy, we send signals that people respond to. This is why leaders can be wrong, evil, ineffective, and contradictory yet we follow them regardless: they carry strong, confident energy and it overwhelms our own. Their spirit captures ours and subjugates it in small and big ways. By projecting our own strong energy, we can counteract that effect and allow ourselves to step back from a situation’s energy and make decisions based on thought and reason.

For the skeptic: There was a time in human history when we were not able to speak. Communicate, yes, but form words or language, no. In order for a highly social species to cooperate and survive, we relied on cues from motions and body language in addition to what vocalizations we could create. Those subtle cues are present to this day but because we rely so heavily on words and voices, we forget the impact nonverbal communication has on our instinctive responses. When we encounter someone taller and larger, we already assume a subordinate role. Those who find themselves often in this position establish habitual compensating behavioral patterns such as loud speech or emotional shields or a tendency towards victimhood. When we encounter someone who holds their head high and their shoulders back in proper posture we respond to their posture of authority. If we can consciously change our posture and nonverbal signals to project images of intelligence and authority, the instinctive reaction we experience are those of deference and respect. Of course that’s not all there is to it, but similarly to the pleasure response we feel even from imitation laughter, the image we project will change the responses we attract.

Anyway, just riffing on an idea I had while reading one of my school’s books.

Speaking of books: I recently finished “At Basilisk Station” and another book I’ve already forgotten. I’m swinging in my lazy/motivated cycle more towards the motivated side so hopefully we will see more updates as time moves on. We shall see ;-P

If you’re unsure how to begin your initial email, or are unclear about what to include, here is an example of a first contact that covers everything I need to know

Hi!

My name is Max and I’m a Seattle local and sparse hobbyist. I love what you’ve written and would like to spend some time with you. I like Science Fiction, too, but totally disagree with your analysis of that one book. I’d love to talk with you about it and maybe have some fun too ;-). I see you have time available next Sunday at one. I would love to meet you then. If that doesn’t work, maybe a Tuesday afternoon would.

My references are So-and-so; she will remember me by the funny hat I wore and because we talked about her dog’s upcoming haircut. Her email address is prettylady@gmail.com and you can find her website at www.sexysoandso.com. I also know such-and-such. We met two days before the Fourth of July and we talked about the intricacies of Chinese foreign policy in the context of a grassroots social movement. I also wore a funny hat, but a different one. Her email address is otherprettylady@gmail.com and you can find her most recent ad at postplace.weebly.otherprettylady.com

(Alternatively)

My full name is Maximus Maleleus and you can find my LinkedIn profile/facebook page/businass profile at the following link: www.romansoldiersareawesome.com and I would be happy to leave my driver’s license out for you to check when I arrive at your incall.

Looking forward to getting together soon

-Max

You are free to add as much as you wish, but deleting too much isn’t a great idea. This will streamline the process and make our communication much smoother.

Good day my dears and my most sincere apology fort he long hiatus. Between school, moving, and just generally staying busy, blog posting has fallen by the wayside, along with letter writing, scheduling with any sort of timeliness, and standing in the rain wondering what it all means. I have not abandoned my blog, I merely need to work on my time management.

Classes have been going well, though it seems that drivers around here forget that rain makes for slick roads and still drive as if they were slinkies hooked to the bumper of the preceding car. There are some intersections near my building that I want to do some stealth line painting to direct traffic so people don’t drive like self-entitled idiots (something I am occasionally guilty of myself). But this isn’t about traffic or weather, this is about updating my blog and sharing some more thoughts with you all.

Tonight is the Halloween party for the review board. I’m planning on being only moderately indecent, so don’t feel you’ve missed out too much if you can’t go. Perhaps there will be another valentines party and you can join us then. In any case, I’ll try to get a photo of my costume for members viewing pleasure 🙂

The move is official. I started signing the 69 pages of leasing paperwork yesterday and will be moving out of the old place this Wednesday and into the new place the following Wednesday. I do have a backup location in the interim so aside from my regular days off and moving days, I am still available to get together during my regular hours.

For those of you who have submitted email addresses to the mailing list: I apologize. You did it right, I have simply not yet established an easy and reliable method for composing and distributing information. I have some ideas, I simply have to get around to doing it. I will post about it when I eventually get it up and running. Thank you for your patience.

Posting at all was inspired by a mental rant I was running through on the bus this morning, but it’s been so long I hate to reintroduce myself with a blast of negativity so let me just say thank you each of you who meets with me with a sense of humor, opennes, lack of expectations, and willingness to form a healthy and mutually pleasing relationship. The overwhelming majority of my gentleman friends are exactly that: gentlemen. You are warm hearted and enthusiastic without being pushy or expectant. You are appreciative and caring without hanging doubts or guilt anywhere near us. You validate my need to help and to care for, whether it’s a touch you’ve been missing or long conversations about life and spirit or just a few hours where you don’t have to make any decisions, you make me feel good to make you feel good. I deeply appreciate that and I want to thank you.

I hope your Halloween is wonderful and I will try not to let such a long time elapse next time.

Welcome to the great wide world of twenty fourteen. Recap:

After two months of research, I dove headfirst into the world of hobbying and loved it. I met the most delicious and intelligent men, was treated to delightful places and experiences, and found myself giving pleasure and joy to the gentlemen of Seattle. I have also met a few of the ladies of the area and found them beautiful, intelligent, strong women with drive and culture that it has been my deep pleasure to get to know. My personal life has been a whirlwind of friendships made and lost. My closest friends have all been aware of my nontraditional hobby and discussion between an active provider and laypeople has been lively. Some people are amazed, some disdainful, some cautiously intersted, some indifferent, and some enthusiastic. There was even a short time when a rumor flew around my work place that I was *gasp* an escort! But no, that’s impossible, a girl like that: so nice, not into drugs and so happy couldn’t possibly be something like that! With the help of friends we explained it away as my activities as a stripper getting blown out of proportion but at the same time I found it interesting that my best defense against this ‘rumor’ was that I didn’t fit the stereotype. I don’to fit the stripper stereotype, either, but that’s somehow not really scandalous around here. I found the whole situation almost laughable. I know it’s not the majority perspective, but safe and healthy sex in a professional setting is not something to be ashamed of or horrified by and while I can laugh it off, most people cannot.

My personal relationship with my partner has been an interesting one as well as we work through expectations. Of course I’ve finally given in to the appeal of the older man and over the course of the year have deceloped a deep relationship with one of my closest friends. My friend, confidant, lover, and on point man have rolled into one. Developing a compromise between my work and our relationship has been a journey. I remember sitting on the floor after a delightful drunken evening talking so passionately about this work that I began to cry. It felt so right, so simple and easy to make people just feel better. To be able to make someone feel like the only man in the room, the center of my world, if just for a moment. Over the course of the year I’ve become more sure of myself, more comfortable with boundaries. The community I found is so incredibly supportive which I’m sure is ironic considering the reputation sex work carries. I am, however, not surprised by it. The men I choose to pleasure are men who enjoy both mental and physical pleasure. Those I wish to see regularly offer a relationship that is reciprocal in many ways, not just one. Enjoying that lifestyle and emotional intimacy while at the same time maintaining a strong relationship with a life partner who is unused to a sexually open lifestyle is a journey. We call on each other for support and for balance. His methodical caution has tempered my impulsiveness while my care free attitude has drawn out a willingness to compromise and modulate emotional responses. Tanuki had some good things to say as did Sarah Nicole when I asked about open and polyamorous relationships: open and honest communication between all involved and willingness to compromise is critical. Over the last year I have had ample opportunity to practice both.

What have I learned from all this? I have learned to have a mind and heart open to people of all shapes, sizes, ages, and abilities. The young and stupid part of me that put so much value on superficial aspects is gone and good riddance. Do I like to look at nice looking people? Yes, but that is no longer a factor in my sexual choices. I have learned to make and enforce boundaries both with my body and with my time. I remember an occasion, several years past, when I was sad and alone, angry and vulnerable, and I did things I regret. I gave him head, nothing I regret in principle, but the circumstances and the person involved made all the difference. It’s actually a kind of funny story, but the circumstances surrounding it are more awkward and sad than anything.Nothing like that will ever happen again because I know better now. Dozens of people and events reinforce my self awareness and my surety. It has long been a motto of mine that I should never regret anything later that I did not regret while I was doing it. (My other motto is: only interact with penises attached to awesome people. I’d say I have about ninety five percent success rate on that one.) This time there was an overtone of regret; I liked neither what I was doing nor why I was doing it. I have never felt that way in my professional activities nor in my current partnership and I feel like that is something remarkable about 2013.

In academia I completed the necessary work to obtain my real estate license and so the with new year comes a new chapter in my professional life I am both eager and nervous to explore. What this means for my hobby activities is that my schedule will shift and may be unpredictable. I will keep my calendar up to date as best I can, of course, but you’ll have to forgive me if it is occasionally incorrect. It also means I may not be able to offer public social time in the future but that decision is pending.

Cheers! To a new year with new friends and new challenges!

In lieu of books, recently, I’ve been watching old reruns of Law and Order, the very first ones from the nineties. Aside from the pure novelty/ memory of nineties hairstyles, clothes, and music, the show confronts social issues that the current iterations tend to skirt in favor of socially cleaner, but gorier material. The first few episodes cover race relations, abortion, and prostitution, to name a few. I love the way the show not only confronts these issues, but makes them messy and draws out the detective’s own beliefs during the investigations. The episode I’d like to talk about today is the one concerning a high class prostitution ring.

The detectives find a man, apparently mugged but alive in a park in New York. He dies in the hospital and it is discovered that he had a heart attack, likely previous to the blow to the head they found him with. A little sleuthing and they uncover ‘Poppy Catering’ a very expensive escort agency. I mean high end; five hundred an hour in the nineties seems high to me. The mistress is a famous young woman from old blood who mentors young women and tries to teach them how to be high class women and ‘gives them a future’ but what the detectives uncover and the prosecuting attorney point out, quite angrily, I might add, is that while the young women are routinely tested for STIs, any who turn up positive are kicked to the curb and none of the men were informed. It was the gross negligence that won the murder case and that causes outrage in the courtroom and in my own mind. We know how easy it is to contract such things, in this case it was the socially volatile AIDS virus, and also how easy it is to take simple precautions. What outraged me the most was 1: the mistress’s decision to allow unprotected sex in her brothel and 2: her failure to require testing of the men in the case of unprotected sex. That just seems like a bad business practice, much less callous disregard for safety. Watching the prosecuting attorney ream into the young woman at the height of her pride and watching her face fall as he points out that with the one and one half million dollars she made in the previous year, she failed to truly take care of what she called her little family. The realization that she was a monster, not because of her encouraging prostitution, but because of her selfish haughtiness took the wind from her sails. I love it when the villain realizes they’re screwed, don’t you? That moment when they finally realize that they are wrong.

I found it interesting that the episode used the illegality of prostitution as a tool to find true immorality, instead of making the ‘moral’ of the episode be the evils of sex work. The young lady at the center of the story, not the madame, is portrayed as not exactly helpless but not exactly fully culpable either. The young woman, Jolene, reminds me of a provider I know here in Seattle, with an elegant bearing, a calm surety, and a wisdom both youthful and mature. When she discovers that she has contracted the AIDS virus we watch her as hope slips away in a matter of seconds. We all know it was in essence a death sentence at that time and in fact another episode later addresses the issue of AIDS and suicide in the current social context. It seems that, while the madame was on the surface a mother to her little brood, she allowed her greed and arrogance destroy the lives and health of young women who had few choices and took the one that seemed so tempting. I can empathize with their decisions. Even if I were not as open to sexual experimentation and variety as I am, the ability to make as much in an hour as my friends make in a week is tempting and could easily sway many a young woman, were the option attractive enough. I think that’s what is giving our line of work such a bad name now. The threat of human trafficking and coercion, while inflated, is real and unfortunate. Be it your economic situation or another person, this business is an intimate one and only the best of actresses could fake it convincingly enough. Without approaching sex work with an open mind and a healthy attitude towards oneself and towards sex it can be intimidating and frightening and dangerous. I hate to think how a woman would feel about sex if she were reduced to a mechanical creature, dispensing it at the behest of another whether for money or social pressure. This is why I love this show: it provokes thought about a complex issue without simply painting it black and whit, right and wrong. It delves into motivation and complex causes and we get to see the responses of the detectives as they investigate crimes against people they may or may not sympathize with. I’m excited to get back to it and watch some more. TV just isn’t the same anymore :/