Bienvenue! Welcome! On these pages you will find sensual images for thirsty eyes, kind words for hungry minds, and clear instructions for anxious hearts.
How do you describe yourself when sharing with strangers? How do I convey that I am both heckin chill and also fabulous? Stunning but not intimidating? Strong and also soft?
First thing’s first: I do not speak French. I love France. I have been several times and will certainly go again. I love French food, French wine, and the French language, but got ahead of myself when I decided I was going to learn French and didn’t realize how long it would take. Duolingo would have you believe I speak at “level 52”, but I was thoroughly humbled when I field tested that assertion. I had hoped by the time I hit 735 days of practicing daily, I could maybe say more than “my turtle is eating an orange” in soft, breathy, sensual French.
I’ve been in the erotic industry for 14 years. I spent one learning massage therapy and another on sexual education. These days, I welcome guests into a grand, secure, and private apartment.
I have eight crafting projects going at any given moment, three books on hold at the library, and twelve different tea blends in my cupboard. I’ve written over 300 blog posts on a variety of topics, and spent an uncountable number of hours scrolling and sometimes commenting on Reddit. I can do 8 pull ups and 32 push ups in two minutes, I can dead lift 205 pounds twice and only twice, and I have been known to demolish a full box of samoas in a single, ill-advised sitting.
Is it easier to describe ourselves in numbers?
I’m between 5’1″ and 5’2″ tall, depending on the time of day, and I weigh around 130 pounds.
My hair falls to my shoulder blades, and is chestnut brown with copper threads. In the summer the top layers turn shimmering bronze.
My feet wear a size six, bigger if I want to wear a thick, warm, squishy socks, smaller for delicate heels over backseam stockings.
My bra size was 32DD a few years ago but none of them fit anymore. Thanks for that “exercise”! For clothes, I don’t even bother. I can wear a six, a four, a three, and a two if it’s the right manufacturer. Who knows these days?
While we’re going over the details, let’s talk about my apartment.
Without giving too much away, I can say there’s a bed big enough for three if the occasion calls, a generous bathroom with a shower and good old doctor bronner’s soaps. Heavy drapes conceal a warmed massage table, and refreshments such as tea, water, and chocolate. Lastly…
you may want to sit down for this…
Free, off-street, covered parking.
Hot, I know. It’s ok if you need a moment. It’s also wheelchair accessible.
We generally begin with a chat over hot tea or cold water. I like to know a bit about you, get and give a vibe check, and let you settle in before we get too cozy and comfy (though I find that a long hug takes the edge off, as does draping my legs over your knees). Once you’ve had a shower (don’t want to risk discovering any aromatics when we’re already in the midst of things), and availed yourself of a robe, our visit almost invariably gets more intimate.
Once we’ve made our move, the rest of our time together will be organic, varied, and start with a hot towel and cold tea.
Whether you prefer to lie back and think of the queen or enjoy a vigorous romp, to be ravished or coddled, wherever your body is in the moment, I assure you that I can put you at ease.
I accept respectful, curious, clients of any shape, size, color, gender expression, (legal) age, ability level, experience level, and background.
I get along best with clients who are dorks, nerds, artsy types, fun, earnest, chatty, and maybe a little shy. Nothing excites me more than hearing about your passion project and seeing pictures of your pets.
Now, on to the how-to’s.
First: Take a look at my rates page. They’re more or less inclusive; I don’t upsell or upgrade. I don’t generally require deposits, though I will request them in the case of an unusually long appointment, travel, or previous unreliability. I’d like you to bring the donation with you, preferably in an envelope or book, and leave it on a little white plate a few steps inside my door. Should you prefer digital methods, please let me know ahead of time, and we can see if there’s something that works for both of us.
Second: I have forms. I love my forms. My forms will remind you of my rates, my calendar, my screening requirements, my cancellation policy, deposits if necessary, and they collect all that lovely and necessary info in one tidy place so my assistant doesn’t have to chase you down. She is patient. I am indulgent. Please help us stay that way.
Third: My assistant is amazing. We’ve been working together for almost a decade and she knows me well. She is also about ten times as fast as I am on replies, and twice as patient. If she hasn’t responded to an email, or a form, it’s because she’s waiting on me to answer a question or make a decision. Even if your screening doesn’t pan out, or your optimal appointment time(s) aren’t available, you will get a follow up.
Finally: It’s going to be ok. Whether this is your first time ever or you’re an old hand at this, If you’ve read this far, and are nodding along, I’m certain we’ll have a good time.