Category: Professional Relations

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Cuddles

I’ve been hearing about cuddle parties for a while now. There’s a decent amount of crossover between all the touch communities but I don’t often hop the lines. I don’t get too deep into kink or poly but I’m familiar with them and same with cuddle parties. As part of some background research I’m doing, I tried it out.

They are careful to keep confidentiality so the facilitator does remind us to talk not about what other people do or say but about our own experience and response. Telling my experience will include outlining behavior and impressions of others but I’ll be vague. I hope that’s not too frustrating.

I did have some expectations going in. Since I know a facilitator, I have heard some of the more helpful catchphrases and principles and since I read the website thoroughly, I knew what the rules were and kind of had an idea of the kinds of people I would meet. I was, as always, open to surprises.

When you first arrive, they show you around the space, in this case a private home, give you a chance to change clothes into full coverage, flexible, preferably not form fitting clothes, and let everyone kind of mingle. A few folks have been to parties before, one or two of them have been to many many parties, and about half are new or within their first few. We’re all a little awkward, even me. We chat a little and when the time comes, the facilitator goes over the rules. She goes in depth, making sure there can be no misunderstandings, and we do a few exercises.

First, we ask to kiss each other. You turn to the person next to you and ask them if you can kiss them. They reply “no.” Not “I dunno”, not “maybe”, not “no way”, not “gross”, and not “yes”, no matter how much they’d like to. One of the core concepts and the most helpful catchphrase from a cuddle party is “no is a complete sentence.” That may not sound revolutionary on the surface but there are hundreds of people across this country who can’t look someone in the eye and say, simply, “no.”

They also talk about how ‘no’ is useful information. It tells the hearer that they need to ask for or try something else or, if they hear it often enough, that they may want to try with someone else.

And they remind us that we can change our minds at any time. We may think we want to say ‘yes’ but when we get what we agreed to, find it isn’t to our liking. Or perhaps it’s good for a while, then isn’t anymore. That happens to me all the time and I try to let you lovely boys know when it happens. It means staying in touch with ourselves which isn’t always easy but it’s lovely when it happens.

My experience was useful but not one I’ll repeat. After the reading of the rules, we kind of pair off, much like the naughty parties I like to go to. Except instead of making out and banging, we snuggle. My usual role is caretaker so I made a conscious effort to ask to be taken care of. I asked for a simple shoulder rub, just nice thumbs into my rhomboids, a little muscle rolling over the upper traps, maybe some kneading down my back but nothing fancy. I should have known better.

It started ok but my partner got bored quickly and roamed around to places where their inexperienced hands weren’t delivering effective touch. They attempted a stretch but had no idea how to deliver a deep, pleasant one so it was lots of weird bouncing and my whole body got confused. I was sitting cross legged and I thought I might prefer to lay on my tummy so I interrupted and asked to change. My ‘cuddle’ partner immediately straddled my hips and got to work. It was a little more relaxing but also more uncomfortably sexual than I was prepared for. It’s difficult to tolerate mediocre massage when I know how much better it can be. When it’s slower, in rhythm with your breath, deep and rhythmic and satisfying instead of nervous and frantic. Then small talk leads to the inevitable: “I’m interested in learning tantric massage.” Sigh.

While tantra is a life discipline of existing in your body in the moment, people who don’t know anything about tantra think it’s about having better sex. Not a topic I was interested in covering then and there. Realizing that I legitimately would enjoy myself better in the teaching role, I asked to switch places, gave them a few pointers, then left to find a less sexually charged partner.

I ended up snuggling comfortably and chatting safe topics for a while, deliberately censoring myself and my stories to avoid sexual topics (not easy for me, haha). That said, I think it’s become an instinct for me to be the perfect girlfriend for the moment. When I eventually left I felt sadness, like this was a bandaid we had applied to my cuddle buddy’s emotional pain and my departure ripped it right off again.

The others, though… I noticed by watching that in general, the women were nurturing, satiating their desire for non sexual loving touch by giving, long, sumptuous, sacred strokes on the arms and chests and backs of the boys. The men were in heaven, enjoying totally safe touch, freely given with love and affection, without pressure to achieve any goal. One in particular looked like he hadn’t been so happy in months and given the long luxurious touch he was getting I don’t blame him.

I felt very much like I was working. I love, love, love what I do. I truly believe it is valuable and useful when done right. I think loving touch, freely given, is a joy and a treat and helps us return to the world better people. I absolutely understand why these women attend these events and lavish their affection on strangers. It feeds the soul and I am so glad it’s available.

I’m also glad that I get to do it in the privacy of my apartment with individuals who are free to express their sexuality as well. While the structured, nonsexual setting was perfect for many attendees, it wasn’t for me. Knowing that I passed up the chance to share time with two phenomenal beloved clients to attend this event didn’t make me happy and I won’t make that choice again.

Recommended?

For my occasional female identified/gender fluid readers: there are women only cuddle parties if that suits you better and you can always choose to cuddle only with those giving off female energy, I know I can only do that with my female-identified friends who give off a lot of male vibes but we all have different desires and attractions. It’s worth looking into if for no other reason than it is very good practice saying yes and saying no.

For my male/male-identified/whatever readers: I do encourage it as part of a broader self care routine. If you are in a life where you do not wish to leave your situation but also do not wish to live your life without loving touch freely given, this may be something beautiful to explore. It can also help those learning how to negotiate intimate boundaries. While there is no sexual activity here, it can help you get used to reading body language, asking permission, giving permission, and learning to love ‘no’.

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I’m So Wet

Prelude: I’ve had a few conversations about this post and I’d like to make it clear that it isn’t the woods, it’s the intent behind them. A statement of awe and amazement holds thanks and admiration inherent, no matter the syntax. A statement of possessiveness over my body’s reactions is arrogant, even if it’s got all the right words. I see this again and again with male friends and with clients: the ones who worry the most whether they’re doing things well are the ones who inevitably already are. You guys are the best.

We providers hear a lot of good things about ourselves. We facilitate incredible sensations and provide an easy place to feel them. Our clients get to unburden their shame and sadness, rejoice in their proud erections, experience whole body pleasure, and we manage all this with a smile. Why wouldn’t our clients say nice things about us?

Well, sometimes those nice things don’t quite hit the mark. I had a conversation recently with one of my sweet regular clients about dirty talk. I told him about the difference in my mind between “you’re so wet” and “I love how wet you are.” I told him that it bothered me when someone who I might not even know very well tries to tell me something about my own body, as if I were unaware of it myself, and is sometimes even wrong! He laughed, a big belly laugh, and said “I guarantee I’ve said that to you!” and I, somewhat chagrined, tried to explain what I meant.

Most people wouldn’t make the distinction. Among those who do, the observation is just as sexy as the appreciation. For me, there is a stark distinction between an observation about my body and the implicit claim over it, and a statement of sexual appreciation implying thanks. It sounds arrogant to my ear but I feel it nonetheless: I give out my body’s authentic reactions, not you. I will say when my body’s reactions are your gift to me. I know that the effort and mental energy I put into getting turned on is real and I will let you know when you’ve done it for me. And I will thank you.

Outside of the bedroom, what little time we linger there, I have similar feelings about complements. We only truly believe complements that we already truly believe. If someone tells me they like the way my hair looks but I’m dissatisfied with it, it doesn’t read as an authentic complement. I may smile and say thank you, but it doesn’t stay.*

Vague complements also don’t stick. “You’re so sexy” may be true, but it lies right up there with “you’re so wet” on the internal eye-roll scale. You know what feels really good to hear? “The way you look, lounging there, makes me feel sexy. I want to kiss you.” First: you’re giving me information I don’t already have. Second: you’re letting me know that I moved you to a feeling I enjoy within myself and that gives me pride.

And there it is: a complement that moves me, tells me I’m doing a good job at facilitating your experience, makes me smile, makes me want to kiss you back.

Instead of “you’re awesome” I want to hear “you are really good at this.” Instead of “You’re so smart” I want to hear “I love reading your blog.” Instead of “you’re so wet” I want to hear “I love the way you taste.”

Because you’ll never quite know if I really am awesome, or smart, or wet so telling me that… it just doesn’t sit. But you do know, and I want you to tell me, that you feel safe, you feel smart, and you love the way I taste.

*This is the root of street harassment. When a complement doesn’t ring true or when we’re not in the mood to accept it, we don’t want it. When we don’t accept it and the giver gets upset, that is the turn from genuine complement to harassment.

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It’s No Fantasy

Feelings happen. Often, when feelings happen, they are confusing. We are told that feelings come from specific places and mean certain things. When we experience feelings we weren’t expecting with a provider, that can be confusing. We try to put them into the framework of monogamous, marital love and that does not fit within sex work boundaries. New clients discovering this industry, particularly with excellent providers, can easily confuse the feelings of safety, comfort, loving physical contact, sexiness, acceptance, and sexual pleasure with feelings of love and romance. Often, those feelings of love and romance are then projected onto the provider when it might be healthier to integrate them into the client’s identity.*

In this industry, managing feelings comes with the territory. The easiest answer to the question “Does my provider have feelings for me? I only ask because [special treatment]” is “of course not, it’s all fantasy.” In my opinion, that answer is too small.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have mostly self-aware clients. You educate yourselves, you read what I write, you enjoy the level of intimacy we share without forgetting that it’s only possible because of our boundaries. You appreciate the industry and what it can do while also making yourselves aware of the risks and downsides. When we come to trust each other and some of my boundaries relax, you take pride in being a client who makes my work easy, or if not easy then at least rewarding.

You also know very well that I don’t create a fantasy for you. I don’t pretend to be your girlfriend, nor do I put on the airs of a trained companion or ‘high end escort’. I don’t fake my pleasure or tolerate discomfort any more than I would for any lover. I spend hours thinking about how to best manage our expectations and I get genuine satisfaction from our encounters. I am genuinely, wholeheartedly pleased to have you as a client.

You, my client who cares about my pleasure and my expectations, bring me gifts and cards and bring my friends over to fool around with. You, my client who gives me financial freedom and with it a sense of safety and security. You, my client, whom I cherish and adore and who can never and will never be just friends.

We met under amazing circumstances. I got to dance with you on my table and roll with you in bed. We’ve cuddled and fucked and told each other secrets we can’t tell anyone else. We will always hold a special place for each other in our memories and in our lives. No way can I give that up.

Someday I will leave this work. You will find love or death or another beautiful woman in another beautiful city. Whatever the reason, you and I will end our precious relationship. I will wonder what you’re up to and you might wonder the same. I’ll toss that scarf around my neck or wear that sweater and smile at the memory it holds. And that memory will stay beautiful, more valuable than diamonds, because we didn’t try to make it what it wasn’t meant to be.

So the next time someone somewhere asks “Does my provider have feelings for me?” We can answer “Yes, she does. She feels passion and joy and comfort and safety and pleasure for her awesome regular client. Enjoy the special treatment, don’t read into it, and never take it for granted.”

*I’m never more pleased than when a client begins to love themselves and realize that I only facilitate their experience, it is their own body which creates it.

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Duo Rev: Sofina

For all the time we’ve spent together, I only finally got to do a duo with Sofina!

LOCATION: My place on First Hill
DATE: Late November 2017
NAME: Sofina
INCALL/OUTCALL: In this time but she does out calls on request
AGENCY OR INDY: Indy
ACCURATE PICTURE: All of them
AGE: Around my age
PERSONALITY: Chill, nerdy, playful, introverted but socially adept
RACE: Another of my garden variety white girls, haha
BODY TYPE: Hourglass in every way
WEIGHT: I have no idea but at least half of it is bum and bosom
HEIGHT: An inch or two taller than me
BUST: I’d have to guess 34 DD minimum. Beautiful and soft.
WAIST: Ridiculously smaller than her bust or hips
HIPS: Wide, round, and joyous to watch
HAIR: Dark, long, straight. The Ramona Quimby
EYES: Big dark eyes
FEET: Absolutely fine
SKIN TONE: ‘Seattle Tan’ (meaning pale, soft, firm)
TRIMMING: It’s all there in its glory
TATTOOS: None
SCARS: A few, here and there
PIERCINGS: Ears
MOLES/BIRTHMARKS: Nothing I noticed
CLOTHES: Loose, straight pants and t shirt, changed into a mini skirt upon request. Also Strap-on, haha!
GLASSES: SOOOO Cute with the glasssses. she had to take them off to fit, ahem, in tight spaces.
MOANER OR A SCREAMER: Moderate, encouraging dirty talk and playful banter
ENERGY LEVEL DURING THE SESSION: High and playful
MULTI SHOTS DURING THE HOUR: I have a hunch that she, like me, is willing, depending on where you are.
ACCEPTS FRENCH: Of course, but didn’t get around to it this time
SMOKES: Nope
DRINKS: Probably would, lightly, depending.
KISSES: Error: Not enough data. Please create opportunities for more kissing ;-P (firm and close, soft, rhythmic, just the way I like it)
FRENCH: Covered for boys. She gave me a taste, as it were. Very delicate and she pays attention!
GREEK: She would happily bring her strap-on and take you there, haha, but I don’t think you’ll get to take her
RUSSIAN: Oh dude, I think Mallory Sierra and Sarah Nicole are the only other two so well equipped for it.
DO’s or DON’T’s: DO be nice, DO communicate well, DON’T be a jerk
WEB-SITE: http://www.sitekreator.com/sofina206
SCREENING PROCESS: References, not sure of other options
PHONE: She will provide at her discretion
RATES: 300/430/560 for 60/90/120 minutes, FBSM and cuddles available, return client discount available.
RECOMMEND: Absolutely. She describes herself as the girl you wish lived next door and she’s right.
COMMENTS:
Sofina’s strengths are in her super great attitude and her wide ranging experience. She has a way of putting you at ease quickly and she’s up for things you might not normally find in your average girlfriend or escort experience. Her look is very low-key, not a lot of makeup, no crazy hair, plain, loose clothes; she’s your dog walker or your babysitter… Until she gets undressed. Sofina has the classic hourglass figure with wide, lush hips, a massive, soft bosom, and a tiny waist in between. She’s totally unselfconscious and you will be, too, when you’re with her. She’s the textbook definition of ‘good, giving, game’ and is a generous lover. She also has way more muscle than I expected, haha!

I mentioned I had a lovely friend with a few unusual requests and I needed someone to help me fulfil them. She stopped by during a long adventure to play strip twister and then help me ‘make a sandwich’. She didn’t lose a single game! And still had the stamina to make good use of our fun toys. I was impressed by her creativity and good nature. After we finished our lovely manwich and got ourselves tidied up, we chatted about the inner workings of the strip club while our victim listened and learned. She and I tend to forget there are other people in the room when we talk but she was good about including him in our group chat and he and I were both pleased by her addition to our adventure.

Sofina is one of those people who is even more beautiful because of who she is. She glows with a charming light that makes you forget the world and she is a safe, kind, thoughtful person. If you’re looking for a low-pressure provider, a sweet girl who just wants to see you happy, or are thinking of some unusual activities but aren’t quite looking for a domme, she’s a good fit.

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Sorry, Again

I know I don’t have to apologize for taking care of myself but I will because it effects you. You, my reader, my darling beloved reader, usually a client, haha, watches this page for updates. Reading these snippets, sexy, sensuous, soliloquy, or simply appraising, brings us a little closer in between our physical meetings. I’m terrible with text, great at slicing phrases together to create the occasional missive but really awful at the day to day. I hired Rose to take care of the important stuff: making sure I actually get to meet you; because I couldn’t do that and this, much less this and a million other things.

My mind wanders, constantly. If I told you, every moment I wanted to, every thing I wanted to, you’d suffer. No discretion, no time off, no mystery, no safety from crazy silly words at crazy silly hours. I want to live new lives every day. I want to work an office job, be a masseuse, write poetry, travel the world, sit quietly, create, speak, teach, learn, live softly, grow loud!

But I can’t do all of it. No one can. You make it so I can do much, so much more than I would have without you. But everyone has limits and apparently one of mine is maintaining my blog. I’ve missed four weeks. I think. Maybe more. I got last week. I wrote it the same time I’m writing this. A surge of Twitterpated creativity hit me and I’m milking it for all it’s worth. I’m waiting for the chicken to come to temp.

So I’m sorry for breaking the flow. For taking the break I badly needed but not warning you first. For leaving you hanging, without even a naughty picture or anything. Thank you. Again. As usual. Even when I go wild, you think of me. You feel for me and you desire me and I thank you for it.

I’ve been having a great freaking time. Volunteering for causes I love (because as a SW I can afford it). Strengthening personal relationships critical to my long term life and health. Recharging my batteries. Moving to a new, better apartment (same building, no worries). Reading. Meditating. Reading. Socializing with my colleagues. Creating space for them to love and grow. Traveling. Getting ready to travel. I just… People dream of living the life I live. Someday it will be time for me to leave sex work but that time is a ways from now. Right now, I’m still in love. Don’t worry.

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Rev: Ivy Quill

LOCATION: My place on First Hill
DATE: Yesterday
NAME: Ivy Quill, Née Emily L’Amour
INCALL/OUTCALL: In
AGENCY OR INDY: Indy
ACCURATE PICTURE: Absolutely, and recent
AGE: 13 months younger than me
PERSONALITY: Big, expansive, enthusiastic, authentic
RACE: Garden variety white girl, just like me
BODY TYPE: Petite, slender, short
WEIGHT: Not even gonna guess. Her proportions are the same as mine
HEIGHT: An inch or two shorterr than me. Perfect for some serious heels
BUST: 32D, firm, pierced, sensitive to flicks and nibbles
WAIST: Trim and feminine
HIPS: slightly flared from her slender waist, the perfect stripper booty and she knows how to work it
HAIR: Dark, long on top but shaved close on the sides, very alt/suicide girl
EYES: Bright eyes with hyuuuge lashes
FEET: Clean and petite, painted
SKIN TONE: Perhaps a shade darker than me in the winter, few shades lighter than tan me
TRIMMING: We’re basically bush twins. Carpet in the den, hardwood in the dining room
TATTOOS: several, tasteful, each with a story
SCARS: A few pretty ones on a hip and a forearm.
PIERCINGS: Ears, Nose, Lip, Nipples, and I think that’s it, haha
MOLES/BIRTHMARKS: Nothing I noticed
CLOTHES: A cute black tank, a loose gray skirt, a long cardigan, and the cutes little red panties
GLASSES: Nope
MOANER OR A SCREAMER: LOTS of dirty talk. Quiet pouty moans when she’s getting close.
ENERGY LEVEL DURING THE SESSION: medium for me. We kept each other busy while our boy recuperated and she didn’t flag even after receiving some attentive ministrations from me.
MULTI SHOTS DURING THE HOUR: I have a hunch that she, like me, is willing, depending on where you are.
ACCEPTS FRENCH: Heh hehe heh. Yum.
SMOKES: Yes
DRINKS: Sure
KISSES: Freaking hot. Tongue, lips, breath, all the good stuff
FRENCH: See above 😉
GREEK: Some restrictions apply
RUSSIAN: Probably. It wouldn’t be high on my list given all her other fantastic talents
DO’s or DON’T’s: DO be nice, DO communicate well, DON’T be a jerk
WEB-SITE: http://www.darlingdeviant.com
SCREENING PROCESS: References, not sure of other options
PHONE: She will provide at her discretion
RATES: 400/600/800 for 60/90/120 minutes
RECOMMEND: If you’ve ever been curious about a smaller, louder, alt-version of me, she is it
COMMENTS: I’ve known Ivy for a while off and on and we’ve always been curious to get together and bang each other but our social circles are such that we don’t bump into each other often. Twitter, the marvelous platform for flirting, finally cemented the deal. We only had an hour to work with and if you’re reading this you know how I feel about short appointments but we freaking filled it with fooling around.
It started with her treating us to a little strip tease. She, like me, started as a stripper and she’s still got the moves, even without the heels. As she twirled and twerked around my studio, I struggled with conflicting desires to get up and dance with her and get down with our lovely boy. We took turns showing off our skills with hands, mouths, and words. At least, I was showing off for her, haha!
After a bit, our dear friend needed a break to cool off so I took the chance to wash up a bit, don some gloves (no one likes fingernails where I was planning to go), and lay her back to lavish some attention on her. I always love learning a new body, even under such truncated circumstances. I wish I had had more time but the five or ten minutes we had to work with were enough to watch and feel her clench around my ersatz cock and hear her gasping. I’m never sure when working with a new friend what their orgasms look like but if that wasn’t one, I’d be surprised and regardless, she said she enjoyed it and I choose to take that at face value.
We must have put on a good show because it didn’t take much longer for the three of us to collapse in a sweaty, panting heap.
That was the most surprising thing: me and our friend sat back recovering and Ivy, energy unabated, answered the question “tell me about your tattoos” with a bright and fast overview of each bit of ink. It’s spread out enough that even if you’re not a big fan of tattoos, they don’t detract from her trim little curves or her silky porcelain skin.
After our friend headed home, we chatted a bit before she took off for lunch. She and I share similar values, specifically around our respect for, enjoyment of, and ethical behavior within our industry. We’r both good, giving, and game and we’re both learning to take better care of ourselves and our clients. We’re both excited to meet new people and do new things and while she’s embraced her big voice and boisterous personality, I’ve been trying to slow down, meditate and become quieter. My aversion to pain and permanent marks means I’ve shied from piercings and tattoos and she’s taken the chance to express herself and her love on her skin. Aside from the superficial, we look very, very similar. We have the same body type, she’s just on a slightly smaller scale, we have similar hair color and style, mine is a bit more strawberry blonde and more mainstream, we both prefer the natural, less made up looks for similar reasons and we both have that soft, creamy skin. We even take the same approach to personal grooming, haha!
Ivy is a sweetheart, totally game, a tiny bombshell of a porn star, and a smart fucking chick. I like her, though she’s one of those people I can only keep up with for a few hours at a time, haha. She’s humble but not timid, loud but not brash, pretty without being fake, and overall a really good time.

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An Open Letter To His Wife

To My Client’s Wife,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry that the world set you up to think you could get everything you needed from one man. I’m sorry that you’ve been shamed for your sexuality and his interest in sex doesn’t fit your needs anymore. I’m sorry that somewhere, something broke down and you don’t know how to fix it. I’m sorry that he pestered you until you fought over it and that his hurt and confusion blinded him to yours. I’m sorry that I’ll never be able to hug you and tell you that it’s ok, that I’ll take care of that so you two can focus on the rest of your complex, full, committed life together. I’m sorry that you haven’t found an outlet like this so you, too, can take a break, relax, and return to your marriage more focused and refreshed.

I haven’t seen your husband at his worst. I haven’t laundered countless socks, sobbed quietly at the hurtful and angry things he said, celebrated his success at the cost of my own, sacrificed my youth to bring him pleasure, cooked for him, cleaned for him, or God forbid been on a long trip with him. I have no idea what series of events led you two to where you are now, I only see his sexual frustration now in front of me and it’s my job to take care of it and send him happily back home to you.

Because he loves you. You’ve raised his children and captured his heart. He needs you. He has watched you work miracles with his home and his family and himself. He has built a beautiful, strong, loving life with you. He has fought within himself between his desires and your needs and this is his solution. Leaving is not an option. You fill his life and fit him in so many ways; his choice is not between staying or leaving, it’s between resenting the lack of connection or recharging his physical and emotional batteries in order to be more completely with you.

I know, that sounds crazy! If he loves you, why would he be seeing someone like me? It’s precisely because he loves you that he’s seeing me once a month instead of shattering your life with constant anger or a foolish affair.

And believe me, if he thought he could tell you, he would. If I could tell you I would. If you could know that there’s no pressure, that cuddling doesn’t have to lead to sex, that if you aren’t in the mood you don’t have to feel guilty, that sex is an invitation, not an expectation, what kind of freedom might you feel? To have that source of constant fighting evaporate, or at least ebb long enough to come together… what might that do?

I don’t want to steal your husband, I want to heal him. I’m sexual first aid, applied as often as necessary to allow deeper healing between you two, if you’re willing. I’m a prop, a listening ear, a safe space for him to feel sexy and sensual and comforted and heard so he can meet you where you are without tension or resentment.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

With hope,

Your Husband’s Favorite Escort

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You’re my first

I remember my first. We were young and good Christian kids so we trusted ourselves (or more accurately our shame) to keep us from going farther than just the tip. It was dark, under covers, and I’d been fighting myself for over an hour as our naked bodies did everything but. His stupid teenage cock was rubbing all over my lips and when he asked me if he should go all the way I didn’t hesitate. I couldn’t. I nodded and the next thirty seconds were pure heaven.

Even earlier than that I had learned the frustrated pleasure of a hand or cock rubbing my inseam and younger still I tried to fulfill my pussy’s yearning with my friends’ hands and labia and pillows. I was only 12 when I learned to masturbate so I’m amazed that it took four entire years after that to finally feel real penetration.

I remember my first older man.. I remember my first orgasm with a partner, I remember my first client, my first duo… I remember my first everything.

So will you. If you come to me for your first time, or even to be one of your first few, you will remember me your entire life.

What an honor. Thank you.

Because if I’m among your first, it means you chose me, you decided I was worth living in your memory for as long as your memory lasts. When our firsts just happen, we don’t always choose when and with whom. You did and I am humbled.

About me: I have a lot of experience, as you may have guessed, but you are different and interesting and unique in ways even you don’t know. I’ll want to get to know you and I’ll want to know that it’s all new for you. I’m excited to help you get comfortable and learn.

About you: You care, you’re curious, and you’re willing to take your time learning this whole girls and sex thing. Welcome.

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REV: Cunning Linguist

My relationship with pussy has been tumultuous. I’ve always been a straight girl and I was so not into my own body that over several formative years, I never asked anyone to go down on me and the one time someone offered to, it was his first time and he didn’t like it much, so I never asked again.

Oh boy, do you guys like eating pussy! I never would have thought that it would be so popular or that the smell, the taste, the sensory feedback would be so intense.

The first time I tried going down on another girl, it was in a duo. The poor girl had razor burn and I had no idea what I was doing but she was a good sport and put up with my tongue mashing as my client’s thrusts from behind pushed me around. I came, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t.

Until recently, it’s been pretty much like that: my inexpert lip smacking bringing not pleasure, exactly, but at least a great show!

In a few recent duos, I’ve had the chance to give some un distracted, 1:1 attention to my lady friend while our boy is recuperating and watches. Taking Nina Hartley’s how-to video into account and listening to breathing patterns, bucking hips, and some verbal directions, I was able to experience the art of lickin’ on the clits. WOW!!

First off, I was vindicated in my own grooming practices. Hair makes a difference in face comfort when administering the oral and tidy is better. Mine is thick and curly so I keep it trimmed short in the living room and stripped bare in the dining room. It means I have enhanced sensations which is nice in some ways but when it comes to bristling mustaches, not having that protection can make for a scratchy ride. Girl faces don’t have that problem!!

Also, pussy tastes good. Or, more accurately, it tastes like sex and pussy and pleasure and all those things are good so by the transitive property of sex, pussy tastes good. And it tastes different depending on how turned on she is. I could taste a metallic tangy difference between just the way it is when fresh from the shower, when she’s turned on, and after coming.

And the coolest part is feeling the sensation of muscles clenching against my chin and thighs quivering by my ears and the sounds of gasping and moaning and crying out…. Just wow. Yet another lovely reason to promote duos! I only wish I had a cock so I could feel those muscles and that slippery wet…. Sigh.

Now not everyone likes eating pussy and that’s totally fine. If you’re not accustomed to the smell or the taste it can be a bit jarring at first. Sometimes you come see a provider specifically so you can just kick back and enjoy the ride. This isn’t to convince you, it’s to let everyone else know that I finally get it, haha.

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Special Circumstances

First off, let’s establish that I hate the term sugar daddy. I don’t like being in an imbalanced power dynamic and I’m certainly not going to call anyone daddy. I’m going to say patron for ease of use.

I’ve tried seeking arrangement and what I’ve found is a pool of men across all demographics who have one thing in common: they want to find a girl who behaves professionally, but doesn’t charge professional prices. They want her to be on time, always ready for sex, free of complications such as boyfriends or health issues or personalities. They’re looking for someone who will commit to frequent multi-hour appointments as well as communication in between while only asking for a few thousand a month. Sometimes they want to ‘mentor’ young women which might be truly helpful for some but in my case, I don’t like unsolicited advice. Other times they don’t want to offer real money, even such small amounts, so they offer gifts that might be nice to have after bills are paid but until then are simply baggage. They want their ‘baby’ to prove herself without proving themselves in return and they want to be thanked for it.

I find that kind of behavior infuriating from both sides. A successful sugar baby walks a line where she gives enough to whet the appetite but holds out for more. One provider I know did it in college with something like “I’d love to go on a date with you but my power bill is stressing me out so much I don’t think I could relax enough to enjoy it. You’re willing to pay my bill for me? Oh my goodness thank you SO much!” Once word got round that if you paid a bill for her she’d put out, she didn’t pay her own bills unless she wanted to. I just don’t have the skill to tease it out like that. Girls have to play dumb to make it with these guys and I don’t know if you’ve met me yet but playing dumb, well let’s just say it’s not my strong suit.

That said, when a client evolves into a patron, it forms one of the most fun, pleasant, mutually rewarding dynamics I’ve ever known.

I my experience, there are three general phases: client, regular, and patron

First, we jump through each others hoops. You’ve undergone screening, didn’t haggle, showed up on time, etc. I’ve showed up clean and on time, provided services as advertised, look like my pictures, etc. After meeting a few times, we’ve gotten to know each other, maybe you’ve tipped or offered gifts, maybe I’ve been more flexible for you… This is when we move towards regular status.

Generally we get along. I like smart men who like smart women. I like ribald and thoughtful conversation. When we’re together, it’s easy. We’ve seen each other either long enough, often enough, or under unusual enough circumstances that we share some inside jokes now. We’ve maybe tried something different and our sessions have morphed. If it’s been a while since I’ve seen you I notice it and wonder after you. You care and you mean it. You’re a regular client.

Most of the people I see are people who have settled into the regular phase. It’s comfortable and lovely and when I see your name on my calendar I get excited. Then there are a very few who created a special arrangement. Either explicitly or organically, you became my patron. These arrangements don’t look the same from person to person but they all are based on mutual respect and appreciation and a great deal of self awareness and clever witty banter. They also involve more commitment on both parts, so they’re not a good fit for most people which is why it happen so rarely.

When I was negotiating with these potential ‘daddies’ on SA (and can I say, some of them were just gross. Give daddy his new baby? That is not cute), in the back of my mind I had this sense of shame. What was I doing, putting up with the suspicion and constant need for attention and lack of follow through when I had this beautiful group of regulars and patrons who never asked that of me? How disrespectful to my clients was it to tolerate this crap from others when they have never asked me to? I lasted about a week before deleting my profile.

This was sparked partly by a TNA discussion on finding a girl to patronize, partly by my seven day dabbling, and partly because I’ve talked to people about arrangements like this before and really, they only work well when they evolve slowly. I can’t enter into a special agreement without equality and mutual respect and that rarely happens without spending time together first.

As always, I owe a great deal to my regular clients and my patrons. My financial security, my ability to assert myself, my strengthening sene of self, and of course a fair number of orgasms, haha. Thank you for jumping through my hoops so I could learn to trust you, for allowing me to pamper you with all I can muster because with your attitude and affection, you’ve earned it.