Sorry, Again

I know I don’t have to apologize for taking care of myself but I will because it effects you. You, my reader, my darling beloved reader, usually a client, haha, watches this page for updates. Reading these snippets, sexy, sensuous, soliloquy, or simply appraising, brings us a little closer in between our physical meetings. I’m terrible with text, great at slicing phrases together to create the occasional missive but really awful at the day to day. I hired Rose to take care of the important stuff: making sure I actually get to meet you; because I couldn’t do that and this, much less this and a million other things.

My mind wanders, constantly. If I told you, every moment I wanted to, every thing I wanted to, you’d suffer. No discretion, no time off, no mystery, no safety from crazy silly words at crazy silly hours. I want to live new lives every day. I want to work an office job, be a masseuse, write poetry, travel the world, sit quietly, create, speak, teach, learn, live softly, grow loud!

But I can’t do all of it. No one can. You make it so I can do much, so much more than I would have without you. But everyone has limits and apparently one of mine is maintaining my blog. I’ve missed four weeks. I think. Maybe more. I got last week. I wrote it the same time I’m writing this. A surge of Twitterpated creativity hit me and I’m milking it for all it’s worth. I’m waiting for the chicken to come to temp.

So I’m sorry for breaking the flow. For taking the break I badly needed but not warning you first. For leaving you hanging, without even a naughty picture or anything. Thank you. Again. As usual. Even when I go wild, you think of me. You feel for me and you desire me and I thank you for it.

I’ve been having a great freaking time. Volunteering for causes I love (because as a SW I can afford it). Strengthening personal relationships critical to my long term life and health. Recharging my batteries. Moving to a new, better apartment (same building, no worries). Reading. Meditating. Reading. Socializing with my colleagues. Creating space for them to love and grow. Traveling. Getting ready to travel. I just… People dream of living the life I live. Someday it will be time for me to leave sex work but that time is a ways from now. Right now, I’m still in love. Don’t worry.