Category: Advice

Posted on

Twenty Carat Clients

I adore my clients. I never know when a new face will materialize out of the fog of websites, advertising platforms, referrals, and the vagaries of economic fortunes. I never know when they will disappear into the next relationship, a different city, a new favorite provider, or simply reshuffled priorities. In the vast majority of cases, this is just how it is. The nature of the demi monde is one of uncertainty. Mystery.

On occasion, however, someone sets themselves apart.

Gig work is unpredictable. This industry even more so. We constantly advise each other and ourselves to save as much as possible when things are good, because it will not stay that way. We try. We sometimes succeed. But there are ways our clients can help.

If you find yourself returning to the same person over and over, you may find yourself becoming a 20 carat client. This is a term I have manufactured, and I define it thus: a twenty carat client weighs significantly in a provider’s books. A twenty carat client provides an unusually significant portion of her income and holds her in unusual esteem. My threshold for that is three or more meetings per month, or 20,000 in total revenue in 12 months.

If you hit this threshold, Congratulations! You are almost certainly a twenty carat client. Your ATF spends time in her personal life thinking about you, she goes out of her way to make time for you, she goes on special trips with you, and trusts you with her financial stability.

With this achievement comes some responsibilities.

While we like to know if we’ll see you again, most clients can come and go freely without putting our financial stability in jeopardy.

You, unfortunately, cannot.

We like to think good things will last forever, and we hope they will, but people change, life moves forward, and people even die. When it happens that you have to end your professional relationship, it is your responsibility to take care of her.

Now, there are no contracts in this industry. No policies, no worker protections, no unemployment insurance, no easily accessible precedents to which we can refer. You won’t get arrested, fined, or even really shamed for not putting in your notice or offering severance. When I say this is your responsibility, I am speaking to your conscience as a person who cares about the woman you’ve spent so much time with, and has forethought and resources.

Caring for her means giving her adequate notice (at least a month for every year of your professional relationship) or providing a financial cushion to ease her transition back to “active duty.”

I could give you reason after reason why this is a good idea, but those who will take this advice don’t need it and those who won’t are unlikely to be swayed. That’s fine. I find that I am almost exclusively surrounded by those who will, as long as they know they should.

Financial arrangements are always a fraught conversation for me. Women are not encouraged to advocate for themselves, particularly not in emotionally charged situations. I am deeply appreciative of my colleagues who have cajoled, reasoned, and sometimes even shamed me into sticking up for myself. I am also grateful for every single person who has heard me set a boundary or ask for aid and has not only respected it, but thanked me for sharing.

I see you, and I love you.

Posted on

Substance abuse

On occasion, my friends and I share stories. We vent, we awwwwwww, we smile, and we realize that some things we thought were rare are slightly less rare than we thought.

Turns out, substance abuse is surprisingly common.

Now when I mean substance abuse, I don’t mean hard drugs. That is common in the world, but in my tiny corner specifically, I’m thinking specifically of “sexual performance enhancers.”

Viagra and it’s compatriots can be a marvelous solution to a common problem. Marijuana can be a relaxing and intensifying drug to weave into an erotic experience. Alcohol can ease nerves and there’s a reason they call it liquid courage. Male enhancement tonics can be fun and energizing. Topical lidocaine can theoretically increase the time between arousal and ejaculation.

Don’t do them here.

If you are actually treating ED and you have been prescribed viagra by your primary care provider, try it out during a self love session first to see what effect it has on your body. How long does it last? How easy or difficult does it make arousal and ejaculation? Do you feel increased or decreased sensitivity? Bring that knowledge with you to your appointment with your favorite provider. If you think you’d like to try it for fun: don’t. There are other ways to get and maintain an erection, and recreational use can lead to difficulty orgasming at all.

Marijuana effects everyone differently, and I personally find the smell off-putting. Edibles can hit tremendously hard, and unless we’re doing an overnight, you need to be fit to drive. You certainly don’t want to try it the first time you come to see a provider, and if it’s integral to your erotic experience, I suggest you find another provider.

I very much enjoy a good cocktail or a fine whiskey, and I have a soft spot for gin. But I never drink before you arrive and I suggest you don’t either. While it can take the edge off your nerves, it does that by impairing your good judgement and blunting your body’s sensory input. Whiskey my make you brave enough to make it with the girl at the bar, but it can make making it physically impossible. Not a good way to end any date, but especially one with me.

Energizing tonics marketed at you to “last longer” or “get harder” don’t tell you in the fine print that they make you too wildly jittery to savor your experience. If a five hour energy is part of your usual routine, I won’t stop you, but I don’t recommend consuming anything that will keep you from quiet pleasure right before your visit to my pleasure palace.

Finally, and the precipitating substance for this post, leave the numbing sprays at home. I understand wanting your experience to last so you can savor it. I pace myself and move slowly for this reason exactly. But what good is a prolonged experience when you can’t feel most of it? And how is your provider going to feel when she showers you with kisses only to find her lips going numb?

With rare exception, if I become aware that you have made use of pharmaca to artificially alter our experience and you haven’t cleared it with me first, our erotic interaction will end. I take great pride in my work. I am a patient and willing partner. I am able to pivot as our bodies progress through an erotic encounter, offering enthusiastic persistence, a welcoming lack of judgement, and patience for a variety of activities and permutations. In addition, I have both practical and theoretical knowledge on the physiological function of our bodies from my studies. If you are a long time reader or a regular visitor you will know: I am not often a boastful or prideful person. But in this specific area, I can almost guarantee I know more about your body than you do. When you avail yourself of “enhancement” without my consent, you will have found one of the very few ways you can offend me. Don’t make this mistake with me, and please, don’t make it with other providers.

NEVER do anything harder than a cup of coffee and a cigarette before meeting a provider for the first time. NEVER try new products, legal or otherwise, for the first time when visiting a provider. NEVER do any of these without her freely given and explicit consent. And think really, really hard before consuming illegal substances during a date, even with a provider’s consent. It’s just a bad idea.

My darling readers. I have been navigating the Demi Monde for a while now and, thanks to you, it has taken a decade to accumulate enough of these stories that I felt it right to write on it. I have such pride and respect for you who have arrived, fully in yourselves, nerves jangling, who have come “too fast” and not at all, who have learned your bodies, who have enjoyed what comes organically, who have valued equally your pleasure and mine, who have trusted and loved and enjoyed and taken pleasure without trying to wrench something fake, to fabricate an artificial experience. As has been since I found this world and will be until the day I leave it, I am so appreciative, so grateful to my beloved, darling clients. This feels like a low bar, but thank you for not rubbing lidocaine on my tongue!

Posted on

Selected Testimonials

“I just wanted to say thank you for the other day. While [personal revelation redacted], I am very appreciative of you listening. So thank you again for being a wonderful person, listening to me, and talking to me. You helped and that means a great deal.”
-JS via email, February 2023

“As always I am floating on clouds after spending time with you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for treating me so well and for being so wonderful. 😊😘🥰”
-JK via text message, December 2022

“Amie,
When we first met, we could not know the paths we would each walk. What a journey it has been!
I am blessed that every once in a while we have been able to share it together. Thank you for your care, sensuality, guidance, and above all laughter and fun over these years.
I love you, my friend”
-T’s greeting card, December 2022

“You leave me smiling for along time after we part ways. The chemistry we have is amazing, both chatting and when our mouths are busy 😈”
-D via text message, August 2022

“Amie,
Thank you once again for such an amazing session! You truly are “the best” and I am blessed to have gotten to know you.
Thank you for being you. Genuines, beautiful, sexy, and truly caring about providing an exceptional experience.
Every visit with you just gets better and better!
Hugs”
-E’s Thank you card, July 2022

“Amie,
I’ve had fun getting to know you these past two years. I love your clever wit, charming sense of humor, and of course, your cute butt!
XO”
-D’s greeting card, July 2022

“In life, it’s rare to find someone who is equal parts kind, caring, curious, funny, intelligent, communicative, and genuine. I believe that when you find a person with all of those qualities, you hold onto them for as long as they’ll let you. Because the chances you find that winning combination within someone again is as rare as it was to find it in the first place.
Spéciale
The first word I think of when I think of you, and the reason I have a big dumb smile on my face right now.”
-CED’s thank you card, July 2022

“Amie, that visit restored my enthusiasm for sex itself! Wow. And it was so nice to talk with you and see you doing well.
There is only one Amie!! I’m lucky to have her as a professional friend, and the benefits are off the charts!”
-D via text message, July 2021

“Amie is that girl next door that just continued to get hotter and has that personally and attitude that you’ve know her for years. Great at conversation and even better in or around the bed area.”
-TER Review, April 2021

“Amie,
Thank you for a wonderful evening and allowing me to connect with you on such an intimate and personal level. Your patience and genuine caring are beyond compare.
We have seen each other a few times now and I wanted to say thank you. You have been so kind and patient with my questions and concerns and it is not ignored.
Have an amazing evening and stay safe.”
-L’s letter, October 2020

“To the beautiful Amie,
Thank you for the lovely evening, it was a true honor and priviledge [sic] to get to know you and [I] look forward to seeing you again.
P.S. Hotel key and parking money”
-J’s note on the hotel stationary, undated

“FBSM connoisseurs – she is among the finest. Clever, cultured, and clear boundaries: all things I appreciate. Not only has she apprenticed under some of Seattle’s best, […] but she continues to grow on her own and is constantly adding new tricks to her repertoire.
She’s not only intuitive but also well-studied and provides fantastic teases. Add in her intoxicating yet refreshingly genuine smile and that infectious laugh and I always find it difficult to leave.”
-TER Review, October 2016

Posted on

The Wheel of Consent

 

X Axis:

Who is it for? Is this kiss a kiss to turn me on or to turn you on? Is this position to get me off or to get you off? Ideally, we both take turns doing and being done in ways that turn our partners on.

Y Axis:

Doing and being done to are simple words that describe what action is taking place and where each partner is in the moment. Ideally, we take turns here, also, between doing and being done to.

Radial Axis:

At the center of the circle are the things I want to do for me that happen to be things you want me to do for you, and vice versa. Because we are not clones, there is space around the perimeter for things we are willing to do, things that our partner wants to do or have done that we are willing to have done or do, but may not be things we would ask for. Outside the thin blue circle, we find non-consensual encounters, violence, resentment, anger, fear, etc. Inside the circle, we find mutuality, pleasure, and fulfillment.

Things that fall in Quadrant I, Actions I perform, on you, for you:

  • Massage
  • Body Glide
  • Reverse Cowgirl
  • Administering warm towels
  • Spanking
  • Butt stuff

Things that fall in Quadrant II, Actions I perform, on you, for me:

  • The first 90% of a blowjob
  • Cowgirl
  • 69 (most of the time)
  • Kissing
  • Grinding through clothes

Things that fall in Quadrant III, Actions you perform, on me, for me:

  • Missionary
  • Massage
  • Gently flicking my nipples with your tongue tip
  • Gentle, slow oral exploration
  • Doggie sex

Things that fall in Quadrant IV, Actions you perform, on me, for you:

  • Oral, most of the time
  • Fast and/or rough sex
  • Hard-ish or rough-ish kissing or groping
  • Standing up sex

Things that fall outside the circle of consent:

  • Receiving anal
  • Really rough sex
  • Pinching or slapping
  • Tongue spelunking

 

I love doing things for you. It feeds me, it turns me on, it inflates my pride and it gives me warm feelings for myself and the person I’m giving to. It is easy for me, emotionally, to give to a receptive and appreciative partner. Far easier than receiving.

Being done to, even if it’s for me, is emotionally taxing in a way that giving will never be. It is often pleasurable but the emotional space I hold to both keep everyone involved and happy while also allowing myself to live in the moment means FBSM leaves me feeling whole and relaxed while an intimate encounter leaves me happy and satisfied but drained.

Because I am willful and selfish sometimes and because my beloved clients often want me to enjoy myself, I can take action, on you, for me quite well. The danger here is taking action that someone isn’t ready for, just because it’s something I like. I like to think I’ve done well so far.

The potential for infinite data points along the three axes make this a useful tool for communicating. If, for example, someone thinks they’re going down on me for my pleasure and I think they’re going down on me for their pleasure, neither of us are getting what we want. As a professional, I want to spend most of our time in the ‘for you’ half which gets wibbly wobbly timey wimey on us when ‘for you’ involves my orgasm, haha!

Whether we are doing or being done to, for me or for you, I will always vocalize where my circle is; you will never need to guess whether or not I agree to an activity. I will also vocalize any discomfort and suggest changes so I can focus on the pleasure of your pleasure. That is my commitment to you. All I ask in return is that you take and appreciate the gift of access I offer.

The gift of access is beautiful. It’s something I’ve intuited and appreciated since day one of my sexual journey, and haven’t always protected. The gift of access is something you give your partner, freely, that allows them to unselfconsciously explore you and take pleasure in you. It’s something not all can easily give but for those of us who can, we make excellent and versatile providers.

The gift of access is something you have to actively take. It is a gift that is offered, but requires some action on your part to access it. When less experienced people come to see me, one of the things I want them to practice is taking pleasure in their partner. I want you to look and feel my breasts and my pussy and my lips and hair and everything else. I want you to listen to my heart beat in my inner thigh and to my breath quicken. I want you to explore, slowly and gently, every crease and expanse and curve and fold. And I want you to be able to do it secure in the knowledge that I know, now, how to protect the gift of access and I will help you learn to as well.

The wheel of consent is a big concept. This post has been about four months in the making because there is infinite nuance and trying to distill it into something simple… well, lets just say I’m still not happy with it. Betty Martin is the inspiration for this concept and this post and if you’re at all interested in communication and better sex, I encourage you to browse the videos on her website at www.bettymartin.org. They move a bit slowly, but I found it worth the time at least once.

Thank you to everyone who either already intuited this or took the time to explore it and to those who are still working it out. It’s good stuff, I tell ya.

Posted on

Reference Point

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen.

I love giving references. I love knowing that we all have a shared secret, that we are all dealing with many of the same issues, that I can do my part to help others pay bills and make bank, and I love knowing that my beloved clients are exploring.

I do not love, however, getting reference requests from folks I haven’t seen in ages or via text message. Ladies, there’s not much you can do about it other than sigh long sufferingly and ask for better information. Dear gents, getting a good reference from me is probably the easiest interaction for you that we will ever have. I don’t need to to give me a heads up (usually, thought it helps), I don’t need you to dance a jig or come back and see me first. All you need to do is be average or better and give your new lady my email address.

I’ll repeat this, but in list form.

1: complete one appointment with me (means pass screening, etc)

2: Don’t be a jerk. Easy as pie for 98% of those who complete #1

3: Email your new friend with your name, email address, and contact@amiepetite.com somewhere in the body of the email

4: Enjoy time with your new friend!

Addendum: If it’s been a while and we only met once or twice, it’s a good idea to rekindle our acquaintance before asking for to many references. If that’s not possible, I do recommend sending an email ahead of time letting me know so my response is as timely as possible.

Additional Addendum: Being a safe asshole does not immediately disqualify you from getting a reference. However, I will not lie or hold back on your account. References aren’t about you, they’re about the person you’re trying to see.

Respected colleagues, hi. Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Here is some info for you that I like to know when the tables are turned. If I gave a p411 OK, that means I saw the client and he wasn’t weird. If he is weird, if something went odd, I want them to give me as a reference so I can give you a heads up. If I replied to a review on TNA, that’s a guy I’m ok vouching for. I only replied to confirmed visits for folks I would see again. I prefer giving references over email; please don’t text me, even if all the client gives you is a phone number.

My reference never expires. It could have been years since I saw the client and I will still tell you what I remember. That may be nothing, that may be extremely detailed, either way I will let you know and allow you to take that information forward. I’ve started making (discreet) notes to jog my terrible memory but if all I can tell you is that I saw the client once and he isn’t on my permanent shit list, that’s all I’ll say and I’ll caution you to take care. It’s up to you to decide whether to give that a chance or to seek more information from other sources. In a very few cases I’ve actually written blog posts inspired by client encounters. If that’s the case, I will happily share the post title and link.

Providers: Please, please: if I’ve given you a positive reference for someone who behaves badly, tell me. I have been known to instill mild bad habits in nice boys and to have a higher tolerance for weird than others. If my client is nice to me but is not nice to you, I do want to know that. In some cases I feel comfortable doing something about it, in others, it’s just good info to have. I will always protect your name.

References, for me, aren’t about making it easier for the client to find new providers. There are hundreds of ladies and gents who don’t ask for screening; my good recommendation ultimately means very little in a client’s search for a provider. References are about helping keep my community safe or at least making life a little easier for my colleagues. I do appreciate and thank clients who give me a heads up when they’re giving me as a reference and it can streamline the process by jump starting my memories, but ultimately it’s not about you, dears.

Fun aside re: references: About a year or so into my career I began getting references from mature women such as Sarah Nicole and Sola. As a 24 year old provider, I was extremely flattered that clients who usually saw women with a wiser head on their shoulders were interested in seeing me. I take great pleasure in seeing mature clients but interesting gentlemen in the fifty and more category can be turned off by too young and inexperienced (read: air headed) companions. That I was as interesting to them as they were to me was my second milestone as an escort. Milestone number one being actually meeting someone for the first time.

References have also been a beautiful way to expand my social network. I scope out ladies who ask for references and on occasion I stumble across one I connect with. Keep them coming, loves.

Posted on

Hot For Teacher

I’ve finally reached a point where I can teach. I first had sex when I was 16 and it was awesome, but I was bad at it. I learned a little at a time, incidentally, as I found new boys to play with, and a few girls. I’m naturally curious, get bored easily so am always seeking something new, and also I’ve been doing sexy things at a professional level for a good six years now. I feel it’s important to be good at your job so I keep accumulating information, strategies, techniques, thoughts, concepts, communication tools, confidence, formal education, until something clicks and I make a breakthrough. Well, I think my next breakthrough is hands on teaching.

Most sex educators talk you through things, show you models, make you do cute exercises. To teach you concepts, but how many of them will talk you through eating pussy, using your cock as their model? Of course sucking cock and eating pussy are very different, but there are common core concepts and I feel very strongly that it is important to know what it feels like to receive whatever it is you are learning to do.

My sexual history is deep and wide. I’ve done long term relationships and one night stands, long form blowjobs and quickies on your lunch break, I’ve had sex standing up and bending over, lying on top, underneath, and backwards, I’ve given several hundred orgasms to cocks and a dozen or so to pussies, I’ve had hundreds of my own from mouths and hands and cocks and toys, I’ve teased and gone straight for the gold, I’ve had good sex and unwanted sex and mediocre sex and mid blowing sex and I only finally got good at sex about a year ago. I’ve read books, written blog posts, watched videos, sexted, chatted online, flashed people in public, stayed under covers, I’ve talked to folks about nontraditional sexual outlets, watched people get picked up, pushed over, forced to come, fucked by machines, whipped, tickled, trusted and tried, and I’m still only getting started in some places.

The least I can do is share a little of what I’ve learned.

The benefit of coming to learn from me instead of from videos and books and things is time and specificity. It’s like walking into a huge store and asking someone where to find the product you’re looking for. If you need a new set of kitchenware, you don’t need to hunt the aisles in the garden section. If you need strategies on how to make your specific sex life better, I can, probably, help you in just a couple of hours. It’s also useful to have immediate and concrete feedback and tips from someone you don’t need to impress.

I don’t want to make promises. Sometimes it’s not the sex life that’s the problem, it’s the relationship, and learning how to give good relationship advice will take another ten years or so. A little bit of relationship advice kind of comes with the whole sex life territory, but I can only help you with your willing partner, I can’t make your partner willing for you.

That said, it’s been a pleasant surprise for me to realize just how much I know about sex that other people don’t. Toys and lubes and condoms are just the first step. How to seduce a woman with confidence, how to give the most mind blowing hand job of all time, how to help keep yourself in the moment and how to forgive yourself when it doesn’t work, how to read a body’s arousal signals and home in on what works…

I suppose this is just me saying: if you’ve ever wanted to learn more about the sexy basics, I can help. I find a series of 90 minute to two hour appointments is an excellent format for getting comfortable, getting naked, and getting schooled. This isn’t exactly an ad, per se, since these kinds of things often happen organically; I’m writing this partly because I just had a rewarding morning with someone that went very much in the teaching way, partly because it’s really the perfect content for this blog, and partly because I want people to know that not only am I fun to have sex with, I’m also willing to pass on some of my knowledge. You only have to ask.

Posted on

I Can’t Even

I know it’s been a while since I updated regularly. I feel an upswing of inspiration and motivation on its way. I do apologize that my first post after a long silence is an angry rant but I do hope it’s taken in the way it’s intended: not as something that makes me hate anything or anyone but as an astonished, incredulous venting of what, after a week or so of telling the story to friends, has given me some great material. the “Too Long; Didn’t Read” summary is that someone tried to mansplain my clitoris to me and did it in the absolute dumbest way possible so I fired him. Sigh. I love dudes but…

 

Not all men suck, but when they do, they all suck the same way.

When I decided to start offering full service again, I knew a few folks who had a middle ground between sensual massage and piv sex. I thought about it, and decided against it. Receiving pleasure is much more emotionally taxing for me than giving pleasure. My entire body is extremely sensitive and can only handle so much in any given period of time and my mind and heart are far more interested in doing than being done to. So, instead of offering a middle ground session at a lower rate, I decided that that reciprocal touch that includes everything except would simply have to fall under the umbrella of reciprocal touch that includes everything. I know there are people who would see this as paying more for less, but that is a pretty clear sign that our attitudes about sex don’t match up well. Oral sex, digital sex, its all still sex and it all takes it out of me, physically, emotionally, etc.

Given everything I’ve written and said and decided regarding oral sex in fbsm, enter Patrick.

It started in his first form submission. His comment made it clear that he was looking for mutual masturbation in a massage setting. I replied with a little blurb acknowledging the request but denying it, including an excerpt from the blog post I wrote about it. Over the next dozen emails, he went back and forth between agreeing to FBSM and that my limits were fine, to being ‘confused’ about my definitions of FBSM, to finally insisting that he could give me so much pleasure if only I let him and it would make his fantasy so much better. Throughout all of this I am getting less and less opaque, making it very clear what he should do moving forward: either book a more expansive session or chill the freak out and let me do what I do best.

A this point, I should have known better. No one needs this much explaining. No one reasonable, anyway. People with head injuries and English as their second language have an easier time navigating my boundaries and needs than this guy! But I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and I felt that it *could* go really well for him and worst case scenario for me he gets handier than I like and I ave to redirect.

So Patrick and I are in my apartment, slowly undressing, kissing, exchanging pleasantries, getting ready for some table time, and he brings it up again. Not in a ‘you should change your mind’ kind of way but in a ‘if you only listened to me you would understand that you’re wrong about your own clitoris’ kind of way.

It’s an intimate scene. I’m undressed and he’s down to shorts, we’re embracing, kissing, ready to start a lovely, luscious sensual massage in a few moments, if only he will stop talking. I am irritated in several ways by the arrogance of this person who kisses like a wet limpet and never stops talking to listen, who insists on stifling my voice with unskilled and indelicate face mushing, and who now has brought up a topic that had been set aside. Cue a spike in my blood pressure.

Guys? Guys. This guy tried to mansplain my own. clitoris. to me. Like, wft? You can fuck right off, at that point bro.

His thought was that *very gentle* clitoral stimulus can’t possibly be in the same category as penis in vagina sex. And he’s not *entirely* wrong; a lovely little tease can be a nice interlude and is welcome under the right circumstances. But he is assuming 1: that he has a magic face that is capable of gentle pleasure, 2: that what I mean by ‘wear and tear’ on my body is confined to literal physical damage, 3: that I don’t understand that he can’t keep an erection in a condom long enough to have PIV sex and so 4: he shouldn’t have to book a FS session, 5: that oral sex isn’t sex, and 6: that he isn’t asking for free extras and it doesn’t make him look real cheap.

And I would have happily explained this to him if I got more than a few words out at a time. It’s as if this guy doesn’t know that I spend most of my life thinking about, learning about, and catering to cocks of various sizes, styles, tensile strengths, and functionalities. As if I didn’t understand that age and ailment can make it harder to hold onto an erection. As if I haven’t put any thought into the decisions I make. As if I don’t already know exactly how I feel about receiving oral. None of what I do is arbitrary and here comes this brick wall with a mouth spouting nonsense and completely ignoring all attempts at communication from me.

So I kicked him out. For the first time ever in my six years as an entertainer, satisfier, erotic specialist, and tolerant person in general, I kicked someone out mid session.

I don’t get that pissed off that often. Especially when I empathize with the guy. It sucks to reach a point where an orgasm takes so much time and energy to achieve that they can only come few and far between. This is an expensive hobby and of course you want to get a satisfying experience for your money. That’s fine and I don’t mind at all when people feel that way, or even when they ask once or twice, or hint at it, or try to bribe me, or whatever. What pissed me off this time was the combination of me *knowing* that his jackassery was coming but hoping I’d be wrong, and having such an incredibly personal experience dismissed as if I simply didn’t understand my own. Fucking. Clitoris.

Of course I gave him his money back. I’m sure many folks would say I didn’t have to and I did regret it the one and only other time I left my fee behind, but it was clear that it was necessary this time. I hold myself to an unreasonably high standard in these matters and I wasn’t about to let this person have any hold over me.

I am proud of my behavior. Furious as I was, I simply put on a robe and said nothing. Well, nearly nothing, I caved a few times and tried to engage in further discussion but I have been in these arguments before; every word I say is a weapon in his arsenal. Plus I only got a few words out before he reminded me why I was kicking him out. He asked me out to lunch, to talk over a cup of coffee, as if I wanted to let him continue to explain to me that I just didn’t understand and interrupt me every time I started a new word. I would rather eat dirt.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to eat dirt, I got to sit on my couch and listen to my lovely music, relax, wait for Adelle to come over so I could vent and we could snuggle, text my partner and my assistant to vent, and write this long angry essay about someone who would be right at home on the US Senate.

I just… It’s hard to believe, in some ways. I could *feel* my face getting red and hot, my pulse starting to race, my voice starting to shake, in the beginning of the conversation. Every time he interrupted me it was just fuel on the fire. A perceptive human who is interested in what other people have to say can see those logarithmic increases. I can see them. He couldn’t.

He apologized, of course, and I’m sure he regretted whatever it was that made me kick him out, and of course I forgive him for his mistake, but forgiveness doesn’t magically erase the adrenaline. With 45 minutes left to get him on the table, off the table, showered, and out, I wasn’t about to give the worst, most angry, half assed massage ever. I love my work and I’d like to keep loving it. Continuing a session after something like that is a good way to make me hate my work.

Post Script. It’s been a week and I’ve had time to both cool down and get angry all over again a few times. I’ve been through the stages of bad behavior: disbelief, anger, incredulity, anger again, resignation, and as of the publication of this post, release. I have received a few follow up emails, all equally as tone deaf as the first. This guy thinks it was his words that pissed me off, haha! But I’m finally at my computer long enough to block his email address and, with luck, I will never be reminded of him again. And I still don’t regret giving him his money back. I wouldn’t have regretted keeping it, and I was well within my rights to do so, but this is someone who made a fuss about 330 being an odd number and he had to go get change at the coffee shop. Tone. Deaf. Ha!

In the week between, I have met and re-met incredible people. The vast majority of people I meet are fantastic, or at least only odd, and I rarely have to deal with someone so boorish. Most of the time my darling clients are kind and gentle, generous, thoughtful, intelligent, bearing gifts and charm, grace and appreciation. As time goes by and this incident recedes into the realm of ‘funny stories I get to tell at the right kinds of parties’ bad behavior will take up less and less of my mental space to make room for my beloveds, the sweet gentlemen who, as always, make my life more pleasurable and more interesting.

Here’s to listening to my gut more often, haha!

Posted on

The Big Scary STD Post

We’re all concerned with our health and safety, right? I certainly hope we are. Well, here are some things I’ve learned when considering my health and safety that I’d like to share with you.

From the CDC website:

“Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are passed from one person to another through intimate physical contact – such as heavy petting –  and from sexual activity including vaginal, oral, and anal sex. STDs are very common. In fact, CDC estimates 20 million new infections occur every year in the United States. STDs can mostly be prevented by not having sex. If you do have sex, you can lower your risk by using condoms and being in a sexual relationship with a partner who does not have an STD. STDs do not always cause symptoms, so it is possible to have an infection and not know it. That is why it is important to get tested if you are having sex. If you are diagnosed with an STD, know that all can be treated with medicine and some can be cured entirely.“ [My emphasis added]

In this post, I will list the most common sexually transmitted diseases or infections, their prevalence, and my transmission reduction strategies. No sex is completely, perfectly safe but there are measures I take to significantly reduce the chances of myself contracting or unknowingly passing on STDs. My top two strategies are 100% condom usage for all genital-to-genital contact and a constant eye on cleanliness. I wash my body with soap before and after each encounter to remove as much sloughing skin as possible (carriers of HSV and HPV, among others), I use gloves for giving anal simulation, I rinse my mouth with alcohol based mouthwash after giving oral sex, I cover any cuts or scrapes with a waterproof barrier, and I keep linens and surfaces in my incall clean and regularly disinfected.
Where appropriate, I will mention other additional transmission reduction strategies.

HSV – Herpes
“Nationwide, 15.7 % of persons aged 14 to 49 years have HSV-2 infection2, however, the prevalence of genital herpes infection is  higher than that because an increasing number of genital herpes infections are caused by HSV-1
Infections are transmitted through contact with HSV in herpes lesions, mucosal surfaces, genital secretions, or oral secretions. 5 HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be shed from normal-appearing oral or genital mucosa or skin. 7,8 Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during genital contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. However, receiving oral sex from a person with an oral HSV-1 infection can  result in getting a genital HSV-1 infection. 2 Transmission commonly occurs from contact with an infected partner who does not have visible lesions and who may not know that he or she is infected. 7In persons with asymptomatic HSV-2 infections, genital HSV shedding occurs on 10.2% of days, compared to 20.1% of days among those with symptomatic infections. 8”

In addition to my standard reduction strategies: Prior to oral or genital contact, if I see anything that appears blister-like on or near your mouth or genitals, I’ll avoid contact with the area so keep that in mind when scheduling. This may mean no kissing, no giving or receiving of oral sex, or no sex at all. I will not give you your money back if you show up with a sore and we don’t have sex. I also specifically ask my doctor to order HSV tests with my routine checks as HSV is not on the standard STD panel.
A further transmission reduction strategy I do not employ is taking a daily antiviral medication. This method is used by anyone positive for the infection and helps prevent passing it on to an uninfected partner. Were I ever to contract HSV I would add this to my transmission reduction strategies. Should you find yourself positive for HSV I would take it as a great kindness if you would talk to your doctor about adding this to your daily multivitamin regime.

HPV (warts)
“79 million Americans, most in their late teens and early 20s, are infected with HPV
You can get HPV by having vaginal, anal, or oral sex with someone who has the virus. It is most commonly spread during vaginal or anal sex. HPV can be passed even when an infected person has no signs or symptoms.”

Pay REALLY close attention to this one, guys. It is safe to assume that every single provider you meet has come into contact with HPV and may be positive for one or more strains. You can’t test for HPV the way you can test for other STDs; it shows up on a pap smear as an irregular pap, or as warts, or as cancer. There are so many different strains that it’s simply not practical to find out about and all research is going into vaccines for a few strains.
Gentlemen: if you have daughters and you’d like to protect them from everything from embarrassment to death, please please please get them the vaccine before they are at risk of contracting it. The CDC recommends vaccinating as young as 9 years old, depending on the individual. No one wants to think of their nine year old as at risk for the kind of contact that exposes her to HPV but don’t dwell on it, just do it. This will protect her for her entire life; don’t let your discomfort keep you from protecting her, and don’t wait until you think she’s probably sexually active because, while it’s never too late to get vaccinated against everything we can, vaccines work best when you get them before exposure to the virus. My first likely exposure was around age 15 and I didn’t get the vaccine until 10 years later. Don’t let that happen.
As for you: wash your penis and the surrounding area thoroughly with soap both before and after your appointments This not only makes it nicer for your provider but helps wash off dead skin cells which is where the virus rubs off onto your partner. You’re looking to spend good time with any skin that comes into contact with hers: the base of your penis, balls, the surrounding area, probably inner thighs and up your belly depending on how wet she gets, and obviously your face. Also: If you’re going to manscape, the safest and easiest is not to shave but to trim close with an electric trimmer. I prefer about a half inch of fuzz to act as a cushion. I am extremely sensitive to stubble and razor burn compromises the skin, increasing the potential for transmission so simply be aware. If you cut yourself shaving, wait until it heals over to see anyone.

Chlamydia
“Any sexually active person can be infected with chlamydia. It is a very common STD, especially among young people.3 It is estimated that 1 in 20 sexually active young women aged 14-24 years has chlamydia.5
Chlamydia is transmitted through sexual contact with the penis, vagina, mouth, or anus of an infected partner. Ejaculation does not have to occur for chlamydia to be transmitted or acquired.”

Gonorhea
“In 2016, 468,514 cases of gonorrhea were reported to CDC.
Gonorrhea is transmitted through sexual contact with the penis, vagina, mouth, or anus of an infected partner.”

Syphillis
“You can get syphilis by direct contact with a syphilis sore during vaginal, anal, or oral sex. You can find sores on or around the penis, vagina, or anus, or in the rectum, on the lips, or in the mouth.”

Chlamydia, Ghonnorhea, and Syphillis are all serious but treatable. Signs and symptoms may include rashes, pain with urination, bad smell, and more but the best and only way to know if you have one of the above is to get tested. Testing is simple, easy, and at Planned Parenthood it’s not expensive. You as a client should be getting tested yearly; please do not lean 100% on your provider to manage your sexual health. My transmission and harm reduction strategy, as with other STDs, is cleanliness and barriers. There are reports of an antibiotic resistant Ghonorrhea in the UK which, due to the globalization of our world, may not stay there. Until I start hearing reports of it closer to home I still choose not to use barriers with oral sex but I am happy to oblige anyone who requests them and can refer you to colleagues who do as part of their routine practices.

HIV
CDC does not cite prevalence statistics
“You can get HIV from anal or vaginal sex or blood to blood contact such as shared needles. The presence of other STDs can increase the risks of passing HIV to sex partners and can also suggest the presence of other risk factors.”

Hepatitis C
“HCV infection is the most common chronic bloodborne infection in the United States, with an estimated 2.7 million persons living with chronic infection (222). HCV is not efficiently transmitted through sex (170, 223).”

HIV and Hep C are blood-borne pathogens. My additional transmission reduction strategy for both is to avoid things like tooth-brushing or eating scratchy foods right before an appointment and covering cracks or cuts on my hands with a liquid bandage. Also not being an IV drug user or a member of a health profession that comes into contact with blood helps me avoid possible direct contact with infected blood. If you want really detailed info on blood barriers and such, ask Mistress Matisse. She cuts people up all the time and does it safely so I’ll leave her with that. As for me, I simply try to avoid it as best as I can and use medical exam gloves any time I might be exposed to it.
For anyone positive for HepC or HIV, there are antiretrovirals that decrease the viral load to virtually zero, making the incidence of transmission low enough to be worth the risk for most. For anyone likely to encounter HIV, there is a series of pills (I’m pretty sure it’s pills but I could be wrong) that you can take before (pre-Exposure Prophylaxis or PrEP) or after (Post-Exposure Prophylaxis or PEP) your potential exposure to infected blood or sexual fluids. I know a few providers who are on it regularly, others who take it the weeks leading up to and following porn shoots, and have a few friends who take it because they are in love with an HIV+ person.
As an economically privileged woman who has sex with men, does not use IV drugs, and who uses condoms properly with each sex act, I am in a low risk category for HIV but it’s a high consequence risk so I take it seriously. I have chosen not to take PReP or PEP due to the side effects but you are welcome to ask your doctor.

Trich (this one is new to me – I’ve never even heard of it until this post)
“Trichomoniasis is the most common curable STD. In the United States, an estimated 3.7 million people have the infection. However, only about 30% develop any symptoms of trichomoniasis. Infection is more common in women than in men.
The parasite passes from an infected person to an uninfected person during sex. In women, the most commonly infected part of the body is the lower genital tract (vulva, vagina, cervix, or urethra). In men, the most commonly infected body part is the inside of the penis (urethra). During sex, the parasite usually spreads from a penis to a vagina, or from a vagina to a penis. It can also spread from a vagina to another vagina. It is not common for the parasite to infect other body parts, like the hands, mouth, or anus.”

BV (Bacterial Vaginosis)
“Bacterial vaginosis is the most common vaginal infection in women ages 15-44.
Researchers do not know the cause of BV or how some women get it. We do know that the infection typically occurs in sexually active women.”

Trich and BV aren’t something you’ll likely get as a penis-owner and fall into the yeast and Urinary Tract infections category: Annoying, uncomfortable, serious if not treated, but easily done away with for most. You can help me avoid suffering from these by keeping your hands and face either soft and clean or away from my pussy. Condoms provide a great deal of protection from what’s on and around your penis but it’s nice if that’s reasonably clean, too.

 

Other Information:

You may see claims that the prevalence of STDs is higher in sex work populations. Nearly every study in the US of sex workers does not include indoor sex workers in their sample group but instead focuses primarily or exclusively on street based sex workers. While I consider Street based sex workers my sisters, they are very often associated with high risk factors such as poverty, drug use, abusive relationships, undernutrition, and a high incidence of unprotected vaginal or anal sex. These are far more indicative risk factors than whether or not someone accepts items of value in exchange. Note that there is a fascinating subset of providers who choose to work as street based sex workers but avoid the attendant risk factors so, as with all things, never assume.

We know that every sex worker working in the legal brothels of Nevada is STD free because weekly testing is in their contract. We also know that in Australia where sex work is decriminalized in most states, “Currently, there is no evidence that sex workers in Australia have higher rates of STIs than the general population.” The same page from the Australian Sexual Health Alliance states, as I said earlier, “High priority groups include street based sex workers, sex workers who inject drugs, culturally and linguistically diverse sex workers, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander sex workers and male and transgender sex workers.“ Though in the US you might replace “Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander sex workers” with “sex workers of color or native descent” in the United States.

So what do we know? Well, we know that we are in a higher risk category to contract the more common sexually transmitted infections due to our higher incidence of sexual contact. We also know that as religious and informed users of carefully selected and properly stored condoms we are in a low-risk category. We know that we are in lower risk categories also due to our avoidance of IV drug use, our avoidance of drug and heavy alcohol use during sexual encounters, and our regular testing routines.

One of the reasons that young people and people in marginalized communities are at higher risks for STDs is that they are often under pressure to have unprotected sex or participate in other risky activities. If you’re drunk when you bang and the condom breaks, you’re a lot less likely to notice. If you’re young and inexperienced, you’re a lot more likely to give in to someone asking for unprotected sex. If you’re certain that you’ll notice if you get an STD so you avoid testing, you’re more likely to have an unnoticed infection.

So what do we do now? I get tested every three months; you should get tested every year simply because you’re having sex with me and I have sex with other people. You should absolutely get tested every year if you’re seeing providers as well as me and you should get tested at least twice yearly if you’re on tinder, Grindr, or other hookup sites and see new sexual partners in less informed demographics. You can have an STD and not know it. Your provider can have an STD and not know it. Knowledge is power; don’t give it away because you’re lazy.

This isn’t to scare you, it’s to remind you. I want us to have the safest sex we can reasonably have because I fucking love sex when I’m not anxious. If I’m concerned that you’re not committed to safer sex practices, I’ll be much less able to relax. One of the sexiest things you can possibly do is check the condom to make sure it’s in place and unbroken. (You don’t have to as I’m on top of it but it is reassuring.)

Side note: this isn’t a hint. I’m not slyly suggesting that I caught something and you should check for it, this is just something I think about a lot and felt like it would be useful to share.

All my STD statistics and about quotes are from the CDC STD info sheets at https://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm. The quote about sex workers in Australia is from http://www.sti.guidelines.org.au/populations-and-situations/sex-workers#testing-advice.

Thank you and happy humping!!

Posted on

Same Day Experiements

I’m always experimenting with what things work for me. What to do, how long to do it, etc. Over the last couple of months I experimented with making myself terribly available for same-day get togethers. Very little has contributed to my discontent like making myself available for same-day appointments.

The problem with same-day appointments is two fold. The first problem is when they don’t materialize. When I try to ‘treat this like a business’ and hold some kind of office hours, I do a pretty good job of keeping myself occupied. In some ways it’s been good for me. I meditate (or try to), read, write, and constantly revamp my website. I keep my advertising current and keep trying to make Rose’s life easier but failing ha! But there is nothing quite like wanting to do something else and feeling guilty about it because I’m supposed to be a professional.

The converse is when I say fuck it and do what I wanted to, only to find that, had I been around, I could have gotten laid! My eternal frustration is being unable to have sex because the person who wanted to have sex with me didn’t let me know before I went to bed, so I woke up without enough time to do so. Or committing myself to a social engagement or volunteer opportunity because otherwise I’d have been bored at the office only to find out that if I’d been at the office I could have gotten busy with you.

I tried it, and it didn’t work. I tried taking the same bus and holding the same hours and having a regular gig only to find that it doesn’t work the way I want it to. It doesn’t support my happiness and well being. I either get frustrated at the wasted potential of an empty day or frustrated by the disappointment of realizing in close order that I could have been busy but can’t.

So I’m ending my experiment. It’s an absolutely gorgeous spring so far and I’m going to go love it. You should, too. And when you see a potential clear spot in your schedule, say something right away so I have enough time to get where I need to be for us. I understand not wanting to pester me with a teaser that never comes to fruition, I appreciate the consideration, but there’s a very easy way to solve that problem: send a good faith tip.

The next time you see a potential spot in your schedule late the same day or early the next morning but you’re not sure you’ll actually get it, let me know. I’ll let you know if it’s possible on my end (a lot of times just checking my calendar will tell you if I can or not but check anyway) and you can send me 100$. I’ll make myself available for up to a two hour appointment at the time you think you might have. If it doesn’t work on your end, you’ve compensated me for my efforts and if it does work, you won’t need as much from the ATM.

I know that a few of you have been in this spot and it’s frustrating on all sides. This is how to make it work for me.

Posted on

New Guy

I’m new

Ok, that’s fine. Just send over your references…

No, like really new.

Oh, right. OK, well fill out my screening form on my contact page and…

No, I mean I’m really, really new to this.

…Ooooooh. Wow. Ok take a seat.

If you’re not only new to seeing professionals but you’re new to this whole girls thing in general, there are some things for you to know.

First: Relax. I know that’s not very helpful, but I promise you’ll have a better time if you give yourself time to breath, read everything available to you, follow the click trails, and let yourself sleep on it. When you’re going to your first appointment, arrive a little early so you can take a few breaths. Book 90 minutes so you’re not rushed and have time to ask questions.

Second: we all have different ways of doing things so whatever I say here is overridden by anything your provider says on their website or in their ads.

If you’re looking to lose your virginity with a professional, know that it’s going to be different than with a girlfriend. It’s not guaranteed to be good, or even great, and it certainly won’t be unprotected. There are limitations within this world and navigating the emotional aftermath of sex isn’t always simple.

Ideally, you’ll have found someone nice who is willing to take her time and help you get what you want. You’ll have gotten over that first experience, realized that sex is both under-appreciated and overrated by turns, learned a little about how two bodies work together, and can either return to your provider to learn more or move out into the world with a little confidence under your belt.

There are two ways your first time could go wrong. If your provider isn’t who you thought they’d be or isn’t willing to hug or kiss or cuddle or give you any feedback, you may end up with an isolated, uncomfortable, unsatisfying experience and no context to frame it in. It could make you feel worse, not better. The other way it can go wrong is if your provider is awesome and the lines between emotional connection and sexual satisfaction start to blur.

Both of these problems can often be resolved by finding another, equally awesome provider to either help you experience good sex or to take your focus off the first one.

So how do you even find one of these nice girls? The one who will help you experience pleasure and sex without short changing you or disappointing you? If you’re in Seattle, come find me, Sofina, or Alice. If you’re anywhere else and you can’t afford to fly me to you, look for providers you have something in common with. Many of us have websites with about me pages where we talk about what books we like, what shows we watch, what our hobbies and interests are, and whatever little tidbits we can think of and are willing to share. It’s increasingly common to see providers on twitter, being cute and showing personalities.

Let go of any preconceived ideas of what you want. I’m sure you’d love to hook up with that statuesque blonde but what if the tiny brunette in the corner is going to adore you the way you’ve always wanted? You can see the blonde later. Right now you’re searching for a vibe, not a look.

There aren’t any hard and fast keywords to search for, either. Plenty of folks who advertise as ‘unrushed’ kick you out the moment you’ve come. There’s a list of acronyms to pick and choose from but not everyone agrees on every thing so even that’s not foolproof. If you want this to feel beautiful and special, doing your homework helps.

Doing your homework looks like reading a bunch. Follow any links your provider has on their website and investigate a little. At http://divinadaemon.com/1209-2/ I wrote up a list of advertising sites for the Seattle area specifically but several of them are national or global so they’re a good place to start.

Never sign up for anything related to this industry with an email address you use for work or that has your name in it. You may be asked to screen using your name, that’s fine, but don’t just leave it sitting around for any subpoena to catch. Have your provider delete your information after they’ve seen you and/or use encrypted methods to communicate it. A lot of folks are using proton mail these days.

So you’ve looked around, followed her on twitter, seen some cute pictures, and think you’re ready to take the plunge. Now what? I have forms on my website that walk you through whichever screening method you’re comfortable with. I’ve upgraded them so they’re encrypted and all my email addresses are as well. It should be simple to click through the steps and initiate screening. Once my assistant has done a light online screening (checking blacklists, quick google searches, verifying employment, etc) she will email you with the go-ahead for scheduling.

I have another form for that, also simple and straightforward, that asks for exactly the information I need to reserve time for us.

I usually suggest bodywork for our first meeting. First of all, it’s less expensive so if you end up changing your mind you’re not out to the same degree you might have been. Second, if you’ve never kissed, touched, fondled, or made love, this will all be a little overwhelming. It’s likely you’ll be nervous and you can only do so much in 90 minutes. With the tablework, some of your time is face down. By limiting your visual input, it’s easier to enjoy the other senses. And finally, it’s low pressure on you. Those jangling nerves can have weird effects; some people can’t maintain erections, others only have them a few moments before they’re done and gone. If we’re focused entirely on you, there’s no pressure or disappointment. As an added bonus, I’m a very good masseuse so if all else goes to shit at lest you’ll get a nice massage out of it, haha!

If you opt to go big or go home, that’s fine, too, it just means we won’t quite know each other that well yet and we might be a little awkward at first 😉

When you’re getting ready for your first full service appointment, shower thoroughly before you show up. That means you’ll have to touch your butthole with your soapy hand and if you have a foreskin it might mean pulling it back to expose your head to rinse it. I don’t recommend applying soap to skin that would normally be covered by a foreskin but rinse it thoroughly. I do the same with everything covered by my outer labia: rinse well but do not apply soap. Soap does, however, go on the butt, the outer labia, and for you, the balls and perineum (the bit between balls and butt). Not everyone manages this. There’s nothing quite like stinky junk to prevent that amazing blowjob from happening.

File your nails and trim your cuticles. Don’t cut your nails, file them. Check your mouth, hands, and genitals for any cuts, scrapes, sores, or wounds. Yes, that means that bleeding hangnail and the dry skin cracks if they get too deep. If you have any, cover them. This might mean using gloves or a dental dam when pleasuring her or it might mean applying a liquid or fabric bandaid.

If you’re going to manscape, trim, don’t shave, and certainly don’t shave right before as you’ll have micro wounds from the razor. Also, no one likes prickly stubble grinding up on their sensitive bits so it’s best to either wax or trim, not shave.

Same with brushing and flossing: Floss the night before, brush the morning of, mouthwash upon arrival. Bristles cause micro wounds that can increase the risks of passing on bugs.

Ah, the envelope. So many people worry about the envelope. I’m not terribly picky about what you put my fee in, as long as it’s correct and present. I prefer you put it down somewhere obvious: a countertop or some such, and usually I ignore it until we’re done. With new clients sometimes I will make a point of checking to make sure we’re all on the same page, but it’s rarely a problem. The standard method is a plain, unmarked white envelope, unsealed so it’s easy to open and also reusable. Alternative methods are inside a thank you card or inside a gift bag with a gift. I’m always chuffed to get a new book that has a few extra leaves in it. When in doubt, leave it out, in plain sight, and don’t mention it. The rate should be very clear beforehand, either agreed upon over email or clearly listed on her website.

How to ask about rates? That’s a tricky one because everyone feels differently. What if the thing you want is included in the lower rate and you didn’t know that or they only have one rate and you’re not sure you’ll get to do the thing you want to do within that rate? This is one of the most relevant reasons for you, clients, to be fighting for decriminalization. By telling you what you will or won’t do, your provider is incriminating you both. It’s the number one method, and the only method useful in court, for busting providers and clients. It’s frustrating as hell and it’s why nearly no one will actually tell you whether they’ll kiss you or not. It’s how shady folks hide and how honest and open folks get arrested. The short answer is: you don’t get to ask about her rates and services because if you do, and she tells you, and you’re a vice officer, she’s screwed, and not in the fun way. You should, unfortunately, be suspicious of anyone who offers you a menu or rate structure that outlines services. Don’t ask, don’t tell, and I hope it gets repealed, ha!

However, once both of you have met once or twice, you are now allowed to make inquiries. Some ladies are ok with simple question and answer. I find it most helpful when I hear “I’ve always wondered about XYZ. Have you done it before? How was it?” Now I know that it’s on your radar. If I’m down, we go for it. If I’m not but I know someone who is, I’ll suggest you go see her (and if I know her well enough I can even give her a heads up). Until then, you just have to go with the flow.

Generally, with 90 minutes, I try to spend a lot of time kissing and hugging, undressing each other, letting you look at me… that’s a big one. It’s rare that guys get the chance to really just stare at a woman, much less a real life naked one, without shame. All these firsts just keep rocking through you, not giving you much chance to reflect and process. I try to give us time for that. I’ll give you pointers and feedback and do my best to read your face for signs of ecstasy or fear or anything in between. If I don’t feel that you’re ready, I won’t push you into it.

What now? Sex is pretty great, isn’t it? I know there are limitations in emotional connection and in sensitivity, but it’s still great and now it’s not some mysterious unknown. If you decide that’s all you needed, I hope it helps and I hope your future lovers appreciate how careful you were with yourself and your sexuality. If you decide to come back enough times to learn how to read a sexual situation, how to establish boundaries with new partners, and how to listen to your partner’s body, then I hope I’m up to the task. If you decide this is it, you’re just gonna stick with ladies of the evening for the foreseeable future, I’m happy to welcome you into my world and help you establish a pleasurable and robust community experience.

For the bullet-pointed among us: here’s the quick and dirty how-to.

New client step-by step instructions:

1: Read my FAQ page in full www.amiepetite.com/FAQ

2: Fill out my screening form. Feel free to follow up if you have questions AFTER you’ve filled it out. https://form.jotform.com/71645582884166

3: After getting the go-ahead from Rose, check my calendar against yours and find a time we’re both available. www.amiepetite.com/calendar-and-rates

4: Fill out my appointment request form. https://form.jotform.com/71647421484156

5: Once we’ve confirmed an appointment, read the detailed instructions you’ll get from Rose.

6: Arrive a few minutes early, let me know you’re nearby, and follow the directions I send you.

7: Make sure you’ve counted out the correct fee ahead of time – Leave it on my counter when you arrive. I’ll ignore it until we’re done.

8: Enjoy yourself. Make your desires known and we will find a happy middle ground.