I’m always experimenting with what things work for me. What to do, how long to do it, etc. Over the last couple of months I experimented with making myself terribly available for same-day get togethers. Very little has contributed to my discontent like making myself available for same-day appointments.
The problem with same-day appointments is two fold. The first problem is when they don’t materialize. When I try to ‘treat this like a business’ and hold some kind of office hours, I do a pretty good job of keeping myself occupied. In some ways it’s been good for me. I meditate (or try to), read, write, and constantly revamp my website. I keep my advertising current and keep trying to make Rose’s life easier but failing ha! But there is nothing quite like wanting to do something else and feeling guilty about it because I’m supposed to be a professional.
The converse is when I say fuck it and do what I wanted to, only to find that, had I been around, I could have gotten laid! My eternal frustration is being unable to have sex because the person who wanted to have sex with me didn’t let me know before I went to bed, so I woke up without enough time to do so. Or committing myself to a social engagement or volunteer opportunity because otherwise I’d have been bored at the office only to find out that if I’d been at the office I could have gotten busy with you.
I tried it, and it didn’t work. I tried taking the same bus and holding the same hours and having a regular gig only to find that it doesn’t work the way I want it to. It doesn’t support my happiness and well being. I either get frustrated at the wasted potential of an empty day or frustrated by the disappointment of realizing in close order that I could have been busy but can’t.
So I’m ending my experiment. It’s an absolutely gorgeous spring so far and I’m going to go love it. You should, too. And when you see a potential clear spot in your schedule, say something right away so I have enough time to get where I need to be for us. I understand not wanting to pester me with a teaser that never comes to fruition, I appreciate the consideration, but there’s a very easy way to solve that problem: send a good faith tip.
The next time you see a potential spot in your schedule late the same day or early the next morning but you’re not sure you’ll actually get it, let me know. I’ll let you know if it’s possible on my end (a lot of times just checking my calendar will tell you if I can or not but check anyway) and you can send me 100$. I’ll make myself available for up to a two hour appointment at the time you think you might have. If it doesn’t work on your end, you’ve compensated me for my efforts and if it does work, you won’t need as much from the ATM.
I know that a few of you have been in this spot and it’s frustrating on all sides. This is how to make it work for me.