Reference Point

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen.

I love giving references. I love knowing that we all have a shared secret, that we are all dealing with many of the same issues, that I can do my part to help others pay bills and make bank, and I love knowing that my beloved clients are exploring.

I do not love, however, getting reference requests from folks I haven’t seen in ages or via text message. Ladies, there’s not much you can do about it other than sigh long sufferingly and ask for better information. Dear gents, getting a good reference from me is probably the easiest interaction for you that we will ever have. I don’t need to to give me a heads up (usually, thought it helps), I don’t need you to dance a jig or come back and see me first. All you need to do is be average or better and give your new lady my email address.

I’ll repeat this, but in list form.

1: complete one appointment with me (means pass screening, etc)

2: Don’t be a jerk. Easy as pie for 98% of those who complete #1

3: Email your new friend with your name, email address, and somewhere in the body of the email

4: Enjoy time with your new friend!

Addendum: If it’s been a while and we only met once or twice, it’s a good idea to rekindle our acquaintance before asking for to many references. If that’s not possible, I do recommend sending an email ahead of time letting me know so my response is as timely as possible.

Additional Addendum: Being a safe asshole does not immediately disqualify you from getting a reference. However, I will not lie or hold back on your account. References aren’t about you, they’re about the person you’re trying to see.

Respected colleagues, hi. Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Here is some info for you that I like to know when the tables are turned. If I gave a p411 OK, that means I saw the client and he wasn’t weird. If he is weird, if something went odd, I want them to give me as a reference so I can give you a heads up. If I replied to a review on TNA, that’s a guy I’m ok vouching for. I only replied to confirmed visits for folks I would see again. I prefer giving references over email; please don’t text me, even if all the client gives you is a phone number.

My reference never expires. It could have been years since I saw the client and I will still tell you what I remember. That may be nothing, that may be extremely detailed, either way I will let you know and allow you to take that information forward. I’ve started making (discreet) notes to jog my terrible memory but if all I can tell you is that I saw the client once and he isn’t on my permanent shit list, that’s all I’ll say and I’ll caution you to take care. It’s up to you to decide whether to give that a chance or to seek more information from other sources. In a very few cases I’ve actually written blog posts inspired by client encounters. If that’s the case, I will happily share the post title and link.

Providers: Please, please: if I’ve given you a positive reference for someone who behaves badly, tell me. I have been known to instill mild bad habits in nice boys and to have a higher tolerance for weird than others. If my client is nice to me but is not nice to you, I do want to know that. In some cases I feel comfortable doing something about it, in others, it’s just good info to have. I will always protect your name.

References, for me, aren’t about making it easier for the client to find new providers. There are hundreds of ladies and gents who don’t ask for screening; my good recommendation ultimately means very little in a client’s search for a provider. References are about helping keep my community safe or at least making life a little easier for my colleagues. I do appreciate and thank clients who give me a heads up when they’re giving me as a reference and it can streamline the process by jump starting my memories, but ultimately it’s not about you, dears.

Fun aside re: references: About a year or so into my career I began getting references from mature women such as Sarah Nicole and Sola. As a 24 year old provider, I was extremely flattered that clients who usually saw women with a wiser head on their shoulders were interested in seeing me. I take great pleasure in seeing mature clients but interesting gentlemen in the fifty and more category can be turned off by too young and inexperienced (read: air headed) companions. That I was as interesting to them as they were to me was my second milestone as an escort. Milestone number one being actually meeting someone for the first time.

References have also been a beautiful way to expand my social network. I scope out ladies who ask for references and on occasion I stumble across one I connect with. Keep them coming, loves.