Our community has been hit. Screening has always been an issue for both clients and providers. You, our client, don’t know if you can trust us or our digital security. You don’t know if we’re manipulative, law enforcement, or just careless but you trust us (or not) because this industry is overall pretty great (or not, depending on your experience). We don’t know if you’re illiterate, hyper cautious, or a serial rapist but we trust you (or not) because this industry is overall pretty great (or not, depending on your experience). After TRB, MyRedBook, and RentBoy among others went down in multi-agency law enforcement efforts and it became known that KGirlDelights’ client database (complete with legal names) was in the hands of the law, clients were even more reluctant to share personal information with potential providers.

I completely understand this attitude and I don’t blame clients for being careful and skeptical. You should be. But so should I. There are a lot of conversations on review boards and community forums about screening and generally, clients want to remain anonymous while providers want as much info as they can get. One of the reasons I fight for the decriminalization of all sex work is so that I and my sisters can demand your full legal name, every time, and you have no legitimate reason to deny us. That may sound harsh, but let me illustrate part of my reasoning.

One of my sisters was raped recently. I won’t go into the details aside from that she was explicit in denying a particular act multiple times, the client put her in a compromising position, violated that denial of consent, and then apologized. Whether or not his apology is heartfelt, he obviously does not accept boundaries as boundaries and should not be allowed to see sex workers, or anyone else for that matter, in the future. However, we have no recourse other than a community wide warning against an email address and a username. We have no name to take to law enforcement, and even if we did she has the double shame of being the survivor of a particularly devastating sexual assault AND being a ‘woman of questionable character’. She would, should she have pressed charges, have been dragged, verbally and publicly, through her assault multiple times as her character was disparaged and her status as a sex worker exposed. This helps NO ONE except her rapist. Under decriminalization, this vulnerable young woman would be able to work with a mentor to prevent such situations, ask this gentleman for personal ID in order to hold him accountable, and hopefully remove one of many compromising layers that smother rape survivors.

The men who ran the Korean Sex Worker ‘trafficking’ ring will likely get a few months in jail, a fine, and a slap on the wrist. They are embarrassed and hugely inconvenienced, albeit unnecessarily in my opinion, by their deep and arrogant involvement with the management side of prostitution. Patronizing a prostitute, however, is a gross misdemeanor*. A few months, a few thousand, and a highly embarrassing situation (or quiet plea deal, whichever) is your most likely consequence**. You, the client, don’t need to worry about being murdered or raped (though the rare robbery aided by management does happen I hear). I understand your reluctance to risk the embarrassment, cost, and potential loss of employment IF your information is uncovered. Please understand the risk your provider is taking by allowing you, on the word of other providers alone, to come into her home, get her naked, and lie down together. Please understand why some providers demand personal information. Please understand the courtesy your provider does for you by allowing you to maintain your anonymity. Please understand why most charge for meet and greet screening and STILL ask for ID. Please treat her with patience and respect because she is willing to risk her personal safety so you can avoid embarrassment. Please provide her with the information she asks for. Please say please and thank you.

My heart goes out to this young woman, naïve and trusting, who allowed this man, on the recommendation of others, into herself and was painfully violated as reward for her trust. Please remember this the next time you find yourself frustrated by the time and effort it takes to pass screening and understand why some screening methods are simply unacceptable to some of us. I takes one risks because usually people are pretty great and because this is my job and I need to pay the bills. Fortunately I am privileged and experienced enough to avoid the greatest risks, but we are not all so blessed.

Please consider donating to SWOP Seattle for their untiring efforts to educate, decriminalize, and hear all members of our community, not just those of us who are most fortunate. Should you prefer to make a more personal donation, consider booking next time Ms Savanna Sly***, SWOP USA president, tours in Seattle, or with Sola Love or Sol Finer, both critical members of SWOP Seattle, or next time you and I meet you can donate through me and I will make sure it gets where it needs to go.

*SWOP fought the legislation that changed patronizing a prostitute from a misdemeanor to a gross misdemeanor. We won the first time around but not when it was reintroduced this year. We fight for you, too.
**Hiding your identity will not help you should you be arrested in a sting. Stop-and-identify laws in Washington state require you to produce ID if you are under reasonable suspicion of a crime. Answering an ad for prostitution is, unfortunately, grounds for reasonable suspicion and you will be required to identify yourself and produce ID. If it is not on you, I assume they will simply detain you until you provide your name verbally or your lawyer provides your ID as you are, once again, under reasonable suspicion. Also, stings tend to be day-of events. Book a day or two ahead the first time you meet a provider and that MAY decrease the likelihood of being involved in a sting. Also never agree to pay a set amount of money for a set service, either verbally or via text/email and NEVER (I really shouldn’t have to say this) agree to see a provider who admits they are under the age of 18!!
***Savanna is a ProDomme but if you prefer more delicate delights she offers FBSM and she and I would be happy to duo with you.



Update: Sure enough: a few weeks after posting this, there was a sting at a fake rub and tug establishment in the University district. There was no screening involved and, surprise, surprise, over 200 potential and actual clients got arrested. Avoiding screening does not mean avoiding Law Enforcement.