I’m new
Ok, that’s fine. Just send over your references…
No, like really new.
Oh, right. OK, well fill out my screening form on my contact page and…
No, I mean I’m really, really new to this.
…Ooooooh. Wow. Ok take a seat.
If you’re not only new to seeing professionals but you’re new to this whole girls thing in general, there are some things for you to know.
First: Relax. I know that’s not very helpful, but I promise you’ll have a better time if you give yourself time to breath, read everything available to you, follow the click trails, and let yourself sleep on it. When you’re going to your first appointment, arrive a little early so you can take a few breaths. Book 90 minutes so you’re not rushed and have time to ask questions.
Second: we all have different ways of doing things so whatever I say here is overridden by anything your provider says on their website or in their ads.
If you’re looking to lose your virginity with a professional, know that it’s going to be different than with a girlfriend. It’s not guaranteed to be good, or even great, and it certainly won’t be unprotected. There are limitations within this world and navigating the emotional aftermath of sex isn’t always simple.
Ideally, you’ll have found someone nice who is willing to take her time and help you get what you want. You’ll have gotten over that first experience, realized that sex is both under-appreciated and overrated by turns, learned a little about how two bodies work together, and can either return to your provider to learn more or move out into the world with a little confidence under your belt.
There are two ways your first time could go wrong. If your provider isn’t who you thought they’d be or isn’t willing to hug or kiss or cuddle or give you any feedback, you may end up with an isolated, uncomfortable, unsatisfying experience and no context to frame it in. It could make you feel worse, not better. The other way it can go wrong is if your provider is awesome and the lines between emotional connection and sexual satisfaction start to blur.
Both of these problems can often be resolved by finding another, equally awesome provider to either help you experience good sex or to take your focus off the first one.
So how do you even find one of these nice girls? The one who will help you experience pleasure and sex without short changing you or disappointing you? If you’re in Seattle, come find me, Sofina, or Alice. If you’re anywhere else and you can’t afford to fly me to you, look for providers you have something in common with. Many of us have websites with about me pages where we talk about what books we like, what shows we watch, what our hobbies and interests are, and whatever little tidbits we can think of and are willing to share. It’s increasingly common to see providers on twitter, being cute and showing personalities.
Let go of any preconceived ideas of what you want. I’m sure you’d love to hook up with that statuesque blonde but what if the tiny brunette in the corner is going to adore you the way you’ve always wanted? You can see the blonde later. Right now you’re searching for a vibe, not a look.
There aren’t any hard and fast keywords to search for, either. Plenty of folks who advertise as ‘unrushed’ kick you out the moment you’ve come. There’s a list of acronyms to pick and choose from but not everyone agrees on every thing so even that’s not foolproof. If you want this to feel beautiful and special, doing your homework helps.
Doing your homework looks like reading a bunch. Follow any links your provider has on their website and investigate a little. At http://divinadaemon.com/1209-2/ I wrote up a list of advertising sites for the Seattle area specifically but several of them are national or global so they’re a good place to start.
Never sign up for anything related to this industry with an email address you use for work or that has your name in it. You may be asked to screen using your name, that’s fine, but don’t just leave it sitting around for any subpoena to catch. Have your provider delete your information after they’ve seen you and/or use encrypted methods to communicate it. A lot of folks are using proton mail these days.
So you’ve looked around, followed her on twitter, seen some cute pictures, and think you’re ready to take the plunge. Now what? I have forms on my website that walk you through whichever screening method you’re comfortable with. I’ve upgraded them so they’re encrypted and all my email addresses are as well. It should be simple to click through the steps and initiate screening. Once my assistant has done a light online screening (checking blacklists, quick google searches, verifying employment, etc) she will email you with the go-ahead for scheduling.
I have another form for that, also simple and straightforward, that asks for exactly the information I need to reserve time for us.
I usually suggest bodywork for our first meeting. First of all, it’s less expensive so if you end up changing your mind you’re not out to the same degree you might have been. Second, if you’ve never kissed, touched, fondled, or made love, this will all be a little overwhelming. It’s likely you’ll be nervous and you can only do so much in 90 minutes. With the tablework, some of your time is face down. By limiting your visual input, it’s easier to enjoy the other senses. And finally, it’s low pressure on you. Those jangling nerves can have weird effects; some people can’t maintain erections, others only have them a few moments before they’re done and gone. If we’re focused entirely on you, there’s no pressure or disappointment. As an added bonus, I’m a very good masseuse so if all else goes to shit at lest you’ll get a nice massage out of it, haha!
If you opt to go big or go home, that’s fine, too, it just means we won’t quite know each other that well yet and we might be a little awkward at first 😉
When you’re getting ready for your first full service appointment, shower thoroughly before you show up. That means you’ll have to touch your butthole with your soapy hand and if you have a foreskin it might mean pulling it back to expose your head to rinse it. I don’t recommend applying soap to skin that would normally be covered by a foreskin but rinse it thoroughly. I do the same with everything covered by my outer labia: rinse well but do not apply soap. Soap does, however, go on the butt, the outer labia, and for you, the balls and perineum (the bit between balls and butt). Not everyone manages this. There’s nothing quite like stinky junk to prevent that amazing blowjob from happening.
File your nails and trim your cuticles. Don’t cut your nails, file them. Check your mouth, hands, and genitals for any cuts, scrapes, sores, or wounds. Yes, that means that bleeding hangnail and the dry skin cracks if they get too deep. If you have any, cover them. This might mean using gloves or a dental dam when pleasuring her or it might mean applying a liquid or fabric bandaid.
If you’re going to manscape, trim, don’t shave, and certainly don’t shave right before as you’ll have micro wounds from the razor. Also, no one likes prickly stubble grinding up on their sensitive bits so it’s best to either wax or trim, not shave.
Same with brushing and flossing: Floss the night before, brush the morning of, mouthwash upon arrival. Bristles cause micro wounds that can increase the risks of passing on bugs.
Ah, the envelope. So many people worry about the envelope. I’m not terribly picky about what you put my fee in, as long as it’s correct and present. I prefer you put it down somewhere obvious: a countertop or some such, and usually I ignore it until we’re done. With new clients sometimes I will make a point of checking to make sure we’re all on the same page, but it’s rarely a problem. The standard method is a plain, unmarked white envelope, unsealed so it’s easy to open and also reusable. Alternative methods are inside a thank you card or inside a gift bag with a gift. I’m always chuffed to get a new book that has a few extra leaves in it. When in doubt, leave it out, in plain sight, and don’t mention it. The rate should be very clear beforehand, either agreed upon over email or clearly listed on her website.
How to ask about rates? That’s a tricky one because everyone feels differently. What if the thing you want is included in the lower rate and you didn’t know that or they only have one rate and you’re not sure you’ll get to do the thing you want to do within that rate? This is one of the most relevant reasons for you, clients, to be fighting for decriminalization. By telling you what you will or won’t do, your provider is incriminating you both. It’s the number one method, and the only method useful in court, for busting providers and clients. It’s frustrating as hell and it’s why nearly no one will actually tell you whether they’ll kiss you or not. It’s how shady folks hide and how honest and open folks get arrested. The short answer is: you don’t get to ask about her rates and services because if you do, and she tells you, and you’re a vice officer, she’s screwed, and not in the fun way. You should, unfortunately, be suspicious of anyone who offers you a menu or rate structure that outlines services. Don’t ask, don’t tell, and I hope it gets repealed, ha!
However, once both of you have met once or twice, you are now allowed to make inquiries. Some ladies are ok with simple question and answer. I find it most helpful when I hear “I’ve always wondered about XYZ. Have you done it before? How was it?” Now I know that it’s on your radar. If I’m down, we go for it. If I’m not but I know someone who is, I’ll suggest you go see her (and if I know her well enough I can even give her a heads up). Until then, you just have to go with the flow.
Generally, with 90 minutes, I try to spend a lot of time kissing and hugging, undressing each other, letting you look at me… that’s a big one. It’s rare that guys get the chance to really just stare at a woman, much less a real life naked one, without shame. All these firsts just keep rocking through you, not giving you much chance to reflect and process. I try to give us time for that. I’ll give you pointers and feedback and do my best to read your face for signs of ecstasy or fear or anything in between. If I don’t feel that you’re ready, I won’t push you into it.
What now? Sex is pretty great, isn’t it? I know there are limitations in emotional connection and in sensitivity, but it’s still great and now it’s not some mysterious unknown. If you decide that’s all you needed, I hope it helps and I hope your future lovers appreciate how careful you were with yourself and your sexuality. If you decide to come back enough times to learn how to read a sexual situation, how to establish boundaries with new partners, and how to listen to your partner’s body, then I hope I’m up to the task. If you decide this is it, you’re just gonna stick with ladies of the evening for the foreseeable future, I’m happy to welcome you into my world and help you establish a pleasurable and robust community experience.
For the bullet-pointed among us: here’s the quick and dirty how-to.
New client step-by step instructions:
1: Read my FAQ page in full www.amiepetite.com/FAQ
2: Fill out my screening form. Feel free to follow up if you have questions AFTER you’ve filled it out. https://form.jotform.com/71645582884166
3: After getting the go-ahead from Rose, check my calendar against yours and find a time we’re both available. www.amiepetite.com/calendar-and-rates
4: Fill out my appointment request form. https://form.jotform.com/71647421484156
5: Once we’ve confirmed an appointment, read the detailed instructions you’ll get from Rose.
6: Arrive a few minutes early, let me know you’re nearby, and follow the directions I send you.
7: Make sure you’ve counted out the correct fee ahead of time – Leave it on my counter when you arrive. I’ll ignore it until we’re done.
8: Enjoy yourself. Make your desires known and we will find a happy middle ground.