The Blog

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What happened to The Review Board?

Last January, www.thereviewboard.net was seized by law enforcement as part of a sex trafficking investigation. The community that had so long relied on it as a source of quality erotic service providers and positive community engagement scattered. Same panicked, some still are, but the community is intact and ok.

At the center of the investigation were Korean women working here in Seattle and the group of men and at least one woman responsible for their management. The facts, as best I know them, are these: a small group of people, mostly clients and members of the review board, formed an association for the sole purpose of aiding the movement of Korean women from Korea to the US and from place to place periodically. This group arranged for apartments to use as the women’s workplaces, scheduling services, advertising services, and screening. The group, calling themselves The League of Gentlemen, were indiscreet in their activities, often meeting in public to discuss their activities and admitting in detail their business model to an undercover detective who had been invited into the group. On January 6, 13 men and one woman were arrested and 12 Korean women were removed from the apartments they worked out of (I think. It was reported by LE that they ‘rescued’ 12 women but it is unclear what happened) and the review board, along with a dedicated ‘K-Girl’ website KgirlDelights, was seized as part of the investigation. There is a very long discussion on TNABoard about the status of the league members and there are a lot of details to wade through but it is clear that they are facing several criminal charges all for promoting prostitution.

Law Enforcement has stated they will release all information to any journalist who submits an information request so anyone who has had an appointment with a ‘K-Girl’ or who gave personal information to anyone involved in the league should take precautions against when, not if, their name is released as a client. I can recommend the services of my personal attorney and would be happy to direct trusted clients to his firm. There is a former prosecutor offering his service to SWOP and to clients but he has much yet to learn about our community.

The narrative from LE is that they rescued women from sexual slavery, daily sexual violence, and emotional and financial abuse by their pimps. The Sex Workers Outreach Project officially told a different story about nosy, racist law enforcement pushing a moral agenda on consenting adult sex workers. My personal thought is that the truth is somewhere in between. It is reasonable for women to choose sex work in the US instead of sex work in Korea. I know that if those were my options I would choose the US and if I spoke little to no English I would need assistance in finding a work place, scheduling clients, etc. Many women choose sex work not because they love it but because it fits their needs better than other work and I respect that. Several providers from that group attended a meet and greet party and admitted to coming here with full knowledge and of her own free will. I suspect they had little control over their client list or their menu of services offered and that doesn’t sit well with me but it’s only a suspicion and disliking your job isn’t the same as being sexually assaulted or forced, defrauded, or coerced. One provider accused the female member of the league of purchasing a debt from Korean mobs and then using threats of violence and coercion to force the provider into sex work. If true, that is despicable and exactly the sort of thing SWOP objects to. They argue that decriminalization will make it easier to separate out genuine cases of force, fraud, and coercion into sex work if those of us who choose it freely are able to operate with minimal interference. On this I have no hard answers, only what would make my life easier and, ideally, free up resources.

Independent providers have not been compromised. Myself and my colleagues laid low for the first few days but it is very clear that, while LE is leaning towards an ‘end demand’ strategy, individual providers are not of interest and it is highly unlikely that we will attract LE attention unless there are complicating factors such as drug use, underage providers, or other risks. Clients can rest assured that their favorite independent providers are still around, still seeing clients, and learning more about digital security systems and such.

That being said, digital security is only the second line of defense. Before LE spends resources investigating someone or something, they need to have something that raises a flag to attract attention. The high number of men entering and leaving the building along with providers who obviously speak little or no English brought attention from the neighbor’s who contacted LE and made the first of many steps connecting the online agencies to real people. LE had known about the board’s existence for years, to the point of attending one or two parties, but had nothing big enough to incite a true investigation. This particular case provided a high profile bust, a lot of seized assets, and the potential for felony convictions instead of simply misdemeanors. The digital trail only provided the evidence to convict, not the motivation to investigate.

This is why I say that digital security is only the second line of defense: the first line of defense is not making yourself a target. If your provider gives you long and detailed instructions, read them and follow them. Don’t wait near her building, wait in your car or at a nearby coffee shop. Don’t knock unless she tells you to. Say hello and goodbye with the door closed. Don’t try to come in until she tells you she’s ready. These are all things we ask you do to decrease the attention we get from our neighbors because neighbors are the first step down a path to trouble.

Back to the community impact: Many of us are left drifting with no appealing options. The Hobby Hunter is Portland based and can raise confusion, though it is a kind and pleasant community. TNABoard has providers and clients that run the gamut from amazing and professional to downright scary and the scary ones tend to be the most vocal/active in the discussions and so the feel of the community is often hostile. I am slowly but surely compiling a list of ladies I know in person or by reputation to be professional and safe but it is no replacement for their own freely given voices. We are working to keep the community alive, however, so don’t give up hope, just stay in touch. I appreciate the continued support of my beloved clients and my community and look forward to what comes of all this turmoil.

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Facing Mortality: A Beloved Client in Distress

I’ve been collecting oral histories from my clients. Or at least, I have collected one oral history so far. The plan is to compile the brief history of you as you, the client, have come to know me or my colleagues. The purpose is to show the myriad paths that lead clients to erotic service providers and, more importantly, to break the stereotype of the innocent man lured in by the wiles of the wanton woman or the evil, disgusting pervert who takes advantage of poor, victimized women. My compilation should inspire laughter, tears, and a sense of connection from the reader to the gentlemen found within the pages.

One gent in particular was high on my list. At 89 years old he discovered erotic service providers and proceeded to visit us all. Old Cowboy has come to be known, loved, and respected by provider and client alike. His story is both beautiful, innocent, and just naughty enough to make me giggle. The white half of a forbidden interracial love, nationally renowned sportsman, world traveler, sensualist, and still in possession of great wit, Old Cowboy is an inspiration to all who know him in person or by reputation.

Unfortunately, he is currently under medical duress. I do not feel comfortable disclosing anything specific, suffice it to say I and many of my colleagues are concerned. One of our own is by his side and can relay well wishes and messages of care and admiration but I feel the community at large would like to know. When Froggy Goes A’Courtin’ passed away, our community was able to share via our message board his status and our thoughts and well wishes. Now that we are once again in danger of losing one of our own I can only hope that my little corner of the Internet will suffice. Providers, please feel free to share with your clients. Clients, feel free to share with your ATFs. Things like this need community because who else can we share it with?

I recognize the selfishness of attaching my own thoughts to someone else’s tragedy but this is my little corner of the Internet and so I will take a few paragraphs for my response.

First, I’m not sad. My own sense of mortality still hasn’t hit me as a younger person with all eight grandparents still around. The idea that someone with so much life and energy is in danger of losing it doesn’t resonate with me; it hasn’t hit me in my gut yet.

Second, while I will miss more contact with Old Cowboy, that’s an incredibly selfish reason to regret someone else’s mortality. I hope for him many more years of joy and vitality but if he has none left, I know from even the little I knew of him that he has lived a FULL life and I feel privileged for the time and humor he shared with me.

Finally, it reminds me of a conversation I’ve had off and on with Adelle Sabatier. She began her erotic services career at a young age and has always attracted a mature clientele. She has watched her clients go through loss and change and has seen the gray turn to white over the last decade. As a young woman just entering her fourth decade, she is the only of her peers to face the mortality of her closest friends and supporters. Hopefully that day is far off for me but it could come as early as tomorrow.

I wish him all the best and I know you do, too. He has a great sense of humor and he would hate to have us worry instead of celebrating so you’ll find no sadness around these parts, only inspiration, delightful memories, and huge hopes for all our futures.

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Stay-Cation

As many of you know, I’m going away for September. I’ve never been overseas before and I’m so pleased that my lifestyle affords me this exciting opportunity. Iceland, Scotland, England, and France are all exciting destinations with man things to see and do but what I’m looking forward to the most is cutting myself off from technology. I want to sit under the crisp fall sun with a tiny cup of espresso, a baguette, and some fresh butter and just watch the people walk by. I want to spend an entire afternoon lying on the heather, smelling fresh air and watching the clouds scudding across the sky. I want to sit in a quaint English pub and listen to the people chatting in their amazing accents. I want to submerge myself in the natural hot springs and wash away the tight muscles and frown lines. While I’m excited to sight-see, I’m most excited to simply be still.

It was as I contemplated my vacation schedule, deciding generally where to be and when and looking forward to leaving technology behind, I had a nagging feeling of familiarity. It took a bit to figure out what was ringing a bell about this prospective vacation until I was talking about it in session. I suddenly realized that I get the chance to disconnect daily: When you’re here. In session, I give my physical and emotional strength and focus to you and you alone. My emails, texts, calls, and Twitter feed can wait and for our short slice of the day I am on vacation! I’m focused on the now and the here with only you as my distraction and it really does feel like a mini stay-cation.

So I suppose I should thank you, once again, for your kind patronage, your support that allows me full freedom and a few hours each day to disconnect with the word to reconnect with you.

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Old Cowboy’s Review

After our board went down, many well established ladies lost our reviews. While many opinions about reviews exist, I would argue that they help establish a safety net for our clients. Some reviews can be explicit, oozing mysogynistic machismo and turning off exactly the lovely gents I wish would come see me. Others are hopelessly biased for any number of reasons and can come across as overly romantic or pandering, often leaving clients unimpressed by the provider in person. Reviews by those such as Old cowboy walked the line and did it well. In my opinion, the ideal review is accurate and honest, even when not 100% flattering, assumes the best intentions of the provider, has some humor, and most of all establishes that the provider lives up to her claims. While no review is perfect, Old Cowboy’s was a delight and one of the few that was recovered. Here it is reproduced by permission in its entirety with no edits.

Posted by: old cowboy ®
02/13/2015, 11:09:10
Author Profile Edit
LOCATION:Seattle
DATE:2/11/15
NAME:Christina Slater
INCALL/OUTCALL:Incall
AGENCY OR INDY:Indy
ACCURATE PICTURE:Yes
AGE:25
PERSONALITY:Intelligent – Playful
RACE:White
BODY TYPE:Petite
WEIGHT:Just right
HEIGHT:5’2″
BUST:See comments
WAIST:24
HIPS:28
HAIR:Brown
EYES:Beautiful
FEET:Painted
SKIN TONE:Soft
TRIMMING:Natural
TATTOOS:No
SCARS:No
PIERCINGS:No
MOLES:No
BIRTHMARKS:No
CLOTHES:Slinky sexy
GLASSES:Yes
MOANER OR A SCREAMER:Light moaner
ENERGY LEVEL DURING THE SESSION:High
MULTI SHOTS DURING THE HOUR:Yes
ACCEPTS FRENCH:No
SMOKES:No
DRINKS:Water
KISSES:Yes
FRENCH:Yes
GREEK:No
RUSSIAN:Yes
DO’s or DON’T’s:The usual
WEB-SITE:www.divinadaemon.com
SCREENING PROCESS:References needed
EMAIL:Divina.daemon@gmail.com
PHONE:After screening
RATES:50 roses for an introductory half hour and 250 roses for one and a half hour of FBST
RECOMMEND:Yes
COMMENTS:George Bernard Shaw said ” Youth is wasted on the young”. Not when there are Christina Slater’s in the world and they are willing to share their youth with those of us who are lucky enough to participate in TRB community. Another saying comes to mind from the Jerry Seinfeld TV series “They are real and they are spectacular”. Christina has the quality of imagination, the vigor of the emotions, the predominance of courage over timidity, and a preference for adventure over the life of ease. Christina’s blog is amazing writing with insights far beyond her years. She is combining these attributes with technical training in massage school. The combination makes for an experience not to be missed.

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Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote

It seems unusual that I should not have seen such an iconic film as Breakfast at Tiffany’s but the title suggested to me a frivolous theme akin to an early sex and the city. The book is short, a few bus rides long, but tells the complete, poignant, irritating story of Miss Holiday Golightly, traveling.

I was going to try to write a review through a purely academic lens, addressing my thoughts about Miss Golightly without too much coloration from my perspective as a provider of erotic and companionable services, but I found myself constantly irritated at her usurpation of my profession (though of course it’s not the same and she came first). I found her conduct to be unethical and unbecoming, her treatment of her friends to be childish, and her fixation on money over affection demoralizing.

First, though, the writing is gorgeous. Evocative, descriptive, poignant, sometimes surprising, I felt every moment like I was watching a film or even living life along with Holly and her friends. I’ve never read anything by Truman Capote but I. am now convinced. He has an unusual way of working with sex workers as a narrative component as demonstrated in the short story ‘House of Flowers’ and also the pastimes of miss Golightly. It may be a side effect of him exploring alternative relationship styles but in any case it’s fair, in that dramatic writers make use equally of whichever interesting characters fall in their way. He writes gossip but in such a way as to make you sympathetic towards all sides. We are both protective and irritated by Holly’s antics and in either case, we find nuance in her relationships. I enjoyed the book and would suggest it for a quick twice-over. I plan on reading it again sometime over the next year.

The narrator, never identified, tells the story of his acquaintance with Holly as a flashback prompted by reminiscences with an old friend. Joe Bell, owner/operator of the bar around the corner from where our narrator and Holly occupied neighboring apartments, calls our narrator to come see something. The two convene in Joe’s bar to view a photo. One of Holly’s other neighbor’s had been a photographer and on a trip across Africa he snapped a shot of a carving. Despite the ten years since they last saw her and despite it being slightly stylized, all of Holly’s acquaintances recognize it as her spitting image. This first impression evokes adventuresses like Jane Goodall and Emilia Earhart but our second glimpse, the beginning of the flashback, brings us a very different image.

Audrey Hepburn was the perfect cast for the role of Holly Golightly. Described as slender and chic, young, with a wide mouth and perfectly arranged accessories, Holly is a young (very young: just shy of 19) woman well aware of her feminine power. It’s hard to tell whether she possesses an unusually precocious self awareness or is compensating for crippling self doubt but either way she powers through suitors and gets what she wants. We first meet her as she turns her evening’s escort down for sex. Her mastery of the situation is obvious; Holly is a master of the art of leading on. Over the course of the evening, she realized that this suitor was not worth her time. Instead of ditching him and finding her way home alone and possibly in danger, she kept her wits about her, prepared herself well, and cut him off at the last moment once she was safely behind her own door. Within moments of meeting her we know that she is what we now call a ‘sugar baby’. She spends time with older, wealthy men, sometimes having sex with them, usually not, but always getting money out of them. Capote himself said of her that she was like a modern American Geisha: entertaining gentlemen for an evening, dining and drinking on their dime, and taking their money home with her whether she chose to sleep with them or not.

In some ways I admire her. She is making the best use of her particularly compelling personality and physique in a man’s world and doing it with surety and charm. She makes friends easily but keeps herself guarded and, had she a bit more discipline, could have accomplished her goals easily. Her adventurousness and vitality inspires those she meets but her constant wanderlust prevents her from forming strong bonds, even with the family she had in the Midwest. Her brother Fred is the only lasting bond she has and his death severs what ties she had.

In other ways, she irritates me. She acts childishly, shunning the genuine care of others, spitefully spreading gossip when thwarted, petulantly manipulating herself into the fond affections of others, and lashing out with words when afraid. She makes money from leading men on, never being true to herself, and she disdains the men she lives off of. Her impulsive behavior finally creates such a tangled situation that she simply flies away, never communicating again with those who grew to love and care for her.

And in many ways, I identify with her. She is young, but old enough to prioritize. She is bright and committed when she puts her mind to something but social enough to maintain relationships all over the city. She is perceptive in many ways, naïve in some, and she fills her life with a wide variety of men. I firmly believe mine are far superior but that’s my hubris talking, haha.

This book stirred some interesting thoughts in me, many of which are still forming, though I read the book several months ago. I noticed as I wrote about Miss Golightly that I had a hard time feeling for her as a character because I kept getting angry at her as a sex worker, then upset with myself at my inability to set my work aside long enough to appreciate the story. My Twitter feed has widened and I’ve gotten to personally know some of those I follow a bit better but at the time I was writing this review, my feed was awash with angry sex workers fighting for their rights and the idea of this little strumpet getting everything (mostly) she wanted without behaving like a professional irritated me. My worldview has softened a bit and gotten more hopeful as the links and posts and little quotes are more sexwork positive, more media outlets are working with us not ‘on our behalf’ without us and as my own feelings towards the outside world improve I remember that we are all humans as much as we are sex workers. Miss Golightly has the right to conduct herself however she chooses, regardless of how I personally feel about it. The same applies to all my brothers, sisters, and Trans colleagues out there conducting themselves differently than me. However they choose to manage themselves is up to them, all you and I can do is react, the same as Holly’s friends and patrons reacted to her. Some were angry, some were sad, some were hopeful, and some were inspired. I will always strive to inspire and give hope but I cannot always be all I wish to be and in the meantime, I only hope no one judges me as harshly as I first judged Miss Holiday Golightly, Traveling.

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Happy V Day!!

I wrote a few months ago on boundaries. How the maintenance of physical and mental boundaries is our gift to each other; provider and client. I keep you safe by taking great care and you respect me by returning it. I wrote of the times I failed to maintain boundaries and so lost budding relationships. Today I’d like to write about those who help me help you.

“I wish it wasn’t weird to send provider’s significant other’s Christmas gifts.”

I looked at him, quizzical and surprised. “What? Why? That IS weird.”

“They keep you going for us” he explained, “I don’t have to worry about you because I know you have someone to go home to. I don’t have to worry about your life because you’ve already got someone for that. It makes me feel so secure, knowing that.”

It was a short conversation but it comes back clearly even three years later. Those of us who are strong on our own or with our network of girl friends are to be admired and learned from. They’ve taught themselves, or learned the hard way, how to give the gift of boundary keeping and keep on giving. As for myself and many others, we have a hidden reservoir of willpower back home. He is a living, breathing reminder of all you and I stand to lose if I let myself go too far. A human being who provides support, understanding, forgiveness, accountability, and love. Without this reservoir, this anchor grounding me, I would not have the patience, the care, the joy, or the willpower to create every session, complete and individual, and do it for the variety and volume I sustain. For my birthday, I get to receive clients knowing that my aftercare is coming, the pleasurable and joyful energy I spend with you in my treatment room will be replenished, and it will be the best birthday ever.

Happy Valentine’s Day my loves. I can’t wait to see you again!

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Disgraced, a play

I know it’s been a while since I updated my blog. I’ve got a half dozen half finished. Hopefully this one goes from start to finish in one day.

I recently saw an interesting and provocative play. Disgraced follows the story of an atheist from a fundamentalist family and how he navigates a wife who admires the culture he came from, a colleague who advanced past him due to affirmative action and racism, an adulterous affair, and a dinner party that devolves into drunken rage.

Amir, grown up Muslim and still tied to his family by duty and emotion, is married to Emily, a blond haired, blue eyed, all American artist who draws inspiration from Islamic art. Jory is the strong black woman who fought her way out of the ghetto into a prestigious position in a Law firm alongside Amir. Her pragmatism and Libertarian conservatism don’t interfere with her wit, sharp perceptions, and marriage to liberal Jewish Isaac. He is Emily’s colleague, gallery manager, and one-time lover; their meeting of minds over her interpretation of Islamic art paving the way for infidelity. The main action occurs during a four way dinner party at which all is laid bare. Infidelity, racism, fear, anger, self loathing, derision, love, contempt, shame, sadness all show their faces over the course of their increasingly drunken interactions. The whole play examines the effects culture, religion, and race play in the end product of a human being.

Apparently this play is well known, traveling from Broadway all over the country. The Uber driver that took us safely home after was in fact a New York native and had seen it back home. My friend who recommended it was waiting at our local bar to discuss it and it has sparked several conversations with several people since then.Conversations help me solidify my thoughts and so I have some, interesting to me at least, to share on Islam, sex work, moralizing, and feminism.

First: I identify with Amir, brought up Muslim, taught heavy racial divides and contempt for or even anger towards foreigners, Jews in particular. Having eschewed this worldview and the religion it came with, this wretched man parries the swings from both his wife and his wife’s colleague-cum-lover as they praise the beauty in art, the delicacy of culture, and the family ties he has all left behind.

I find his wife particularly odorous. She of the privileged white race, upper class, moderate upbringing, full of scientific advances and open-mindedness. It doesn’t even occur to her that a culture that produced such beautiful structures and visual art could also be close-minded, cruel, short-sighted, and her (a woman) enemy. She pressures and cajoles her husband to maintain relationships with his cousins and culture while he attempts to distance himself and explain exactly why he wishes to do so. Her cultural appropriation doesn’t end with art; she pressures him into attending a legal hearing concerning a local Imam accused of fundraising for terrorist organizations. “He’s innocent!” She pleads, “and he just wants someone like him on his legal team.” His eventual attendance and accidental quote in the paper, aided by likely racism, ends up costing him partnership in the firm and furthering his shame and rage at his own culture. Throughout discussions of wife-beating and political backwardness she is constantly badgering him to rethink his own. Damn. Culture. She thinks some mosaics are pretty and upon that subjective analysis she tries to force her husband to revoke all the decisions he has made since abandoning his religion and the culture it carries with it. Her sheltered views of Islam and history of privilege gives her this moral superiority she wields over him as she herself has an affair, albeit short, with what he has been taught is his mortal enemy: a Jew.

Isaac also has a privileged upbringing in a moderate Jewish household. He holds wealth and status, a successful wife, and his love for another man’s wife. He and Emily see eye to eye on the matter of Islamic art and swanky, naïve, appropriation of its simple geometry and so they find themselves allies in the siege of Amir. One significant difference between Emily and Isaac is that Amir had been taught to despise Jews and only hate Americans so when the infidelity comes to light and epithets fly, so does spittle; from Amir’s drunken frothing mouth onto Isaac’s face, ending the dinner party-cum-verbal brawl. His hatred of Americans and women comes out in his violent attack on his wife.

Jory represents the token black woman, the comic relief, Amir’s workplace superior, and Isaac’s condescending wife. Simultaneously embodying and breaking stereotypes surrounding black women, she is a voice of moderation, neither condemning Amir’s culture nor condoning the more oppressive traditions. She is the one who first perceives and reveals the infidelity and she is the least drunk, least belligerent, least provocative at the dinner party. She is the one blameless character in the play and as such acts as foil to the three white characters. She is my favorite because she feels, to me, the most lifelike. She is the only one I’d actually like to sit and talk with, the others being so condescending and self important or self loathing depending that they bring nothing I’m interested in to the table except as a tableau on a stage.

Watching this play was pleasurable because it was unexpected, it wasn’t unreasonable to imagine as truth, it gave me a chance to examine some of my own thoughts regarding culture and religion, and it’s always a pleasure to see good theater done well.

My first thoughts were in agreement with Amir discussing his cultural heritage. His insistence that as pretty as parts of his fundamentalist culture were, most of it was very much not. He outlines the reverence in which a world in 700AD where life was harsh, in a desert, without modern law or convenience is held by fundamental Muslims. No modern morals governed human interaction, only harsh rules that had to be in place in order to eke out life in a hard place. Fundamentalist Christianity has much the same awe for a world long gone. The endless cries to go back in time to when America was ‘a Christian Nation’ and people were kind to each other ignore the reality of the modern world. It may have been realistic to require a 14 year old bride to be a virgin but who at about a 25 year old one? It may have been reasonable to sequester menstruating women because blood carries infection but in the days of modern female health it’s unreasonable to demand. Cutting off the hand of a theif in order to shame, punish, and warn potential new victims is unnecessary when we have not only have painstaking records of humans and their crimes and ridiculous sentences and still refuse to punish CEOs that ethically steal from millions. Banning homosexual activity officially was of course necessary when eight out of ten children died and sex without procreation was wasteful (though anyone who thinks it didn’t happen is a fool). The ideals of fundamentalists aren’t just to hark back to a simpler time, it is to drag the world into a time of disease, famine, murder, and hate, a time we are good to leave behind. So far they’re doing a damn good job of it. I heard Amir talk about Islam and I heard echoes of Christianity. He spoke of the Middle East and I understood.

My second thoughts were less vehement, whimsical in one case and pointed in another.

As I walked from the bus to my incall, I passed a woman and a man watching a group of about eight toddlers playing in a park. He was graying, well dressed, somewhat preoccupied and she was elegantly draped from head to toe in black. Though I could only see her eyes and her hands as she caressed a passing child, I was struck by her beauty and grace. The black fabric draped heavily on her arm as she reached to herd a toddler and her fingers were long and fine. Her eyes were dark and mysterious and as I passed her voice sang out “Your jacket is beautiful.” I’m not one to ignore things like that so I turned in passing and told her “I was just thinking how beautiful you looked. Really.” And I meant it. Though many believe the burqa and the Niqab and the Hijab are oppressive, and I generally agree, she was still beautiful. Recognizing that beauty just a few days after watching a play that outlined exactly how cruel Islamic cultures can be towards women struck a chord, gently, musingly, in my mind. Perhaps the sunshine addled my wits, perhaps it was just my good mood dampening any leftover anger, but seeing someone seemingly happily enjoying her cultural heritage while also enjoying the benefits of living in progressive Seattle and making a big deal out of neither made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

That image rose in my mind, alongside some striking Twitter threads, when my friend who referred me to this play struck up another conversation a few days later. We were talking about the full face veil and she expressed a disapproving opinion. She felt it was inherently oppressive and that women, even when they chose to wear it, were responding not to a desire but to a social pressure, a conditioning that wasn’t the same as real choice. You won’t believe how many people use that same argument against sex work. Some argue that even we who claim to choose this, free of coercion, threat, economic duress, or emotional abuse cannot truly be choosing this since we are only responding to the patriarchal notion that women are nothing but sex dispensers. This friend of mine tried to make a distinction between the veil and my work but my response was this: You cannot tell a woman who is doing something by choice, even if you don’t believe in what she’s doing, that it is not truly her choice. You cannot remove agency from a woman simply because you take issue with her behavior and BELIEVE it to be oppressive. Only the woman engaging in that behavior can tell whether or not it is oppressive.

I hope that you, my reader, will also find that ability to temper your opinions within yourself. An individual’s choice is something we fight for here in the states. Whatever other values we hold we will always believe in that. Remember that when your children do something you don’t approve of. Remember it when a CEO makes a cruel decision. Think back on it when you read a newspaper and see inflated numbers, stories designed to incite you, the average voting citizen, to remove the choices of others. Value your own right to choose and hold sacred mine as well. Hopefully we all will hold that most sacred and learn to live together.

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Frequently Asked Questions/ Policies

Update as of May 31, 2018: Most of this information is up to date but for the most recent information you’ll want to go to www.amiepetite.com/faqs

 

Everything you need to know should be on this page. Please read it in its entirety before sending your initial contact. Breaking or even strenuous bending of any restrictions is grounds for immediate termination of communication or session in progress.

Q: Who are you?
A: I am a 26 year old bodywork professional who provides a sensual and intimate touch with therapeutic aspects as well as entertaining conversation and companionship. I do NOT provide full service or ‘french’ finishes.

Q: How can I meet you?
A: Email me with your name/nickname, something interesting about yourself, and screening information and I will get back to you when I have completed screening to my satisfaction or if I need more information. You can find an example of what your first email could look like on my contact page

Q: Where will we meet?
A: I have a private studio set aside for us in the First Hill neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Specifics will be provided once an appointment is confirmed.

Q: When can we meet?
A: My regular hours are ten to six on Sundays, ten to noon Tuesday’s, eight to five Wednesday’s, eight to two Friday’s, and occasional Saturday evenings. Monday and Thursday are my days off. Up to date availability can be seen on my contact, rates, and calendar page. Please reserve requests for alternative times to travel restrictions or old friends.

Q: What will we do?
A: We will chit chat a bit to get to know each other, then I will invite you onto my massage table where I shower you with soft caresses, kisses, and some therapeutic bodywork, among other things. I also provide unscented bodywash to cleanse yourself after our experience.

Q: what do you expect of me?
A: I expect you to be polite and responsive. Polite meaning following my lead, placing the donation in an obvious place early on in our encounter, arriving freshly showered or accepting a shower upon arrival, and just generally behaving well. Responsive meaning I like to know you are enjoying yourself and if not, why. I appreciate and gracefully accept feedback if you wish to give it.

Q: Do I need to be worried about viruses, infections, or diseases?
A: There is a risk through skin-to-skin contact of transmission of some skin infections and diseases. I reduce that risk by sanitizing all points of contact in between visitors and covering any scratches/injuries on my person with a liquid bandage seal. I am also extremely conscious of ‘cross-contamination’ and where our hands have been and will be. I also have regular health checks with my Primary Care provider to assess risks of communication or transmission. I appreciate your concern for our health and ask that if you have any skin issues, please let me know. I will never shame you or express disgust, I will simply avoid the area.

Q: How do you feel about gifts?
A: I love learning about people. What they decide to gift tells me something new and interesting about me. If you need some hints or help, see my blog post www.divinadaemon.com/thoughts-on-wishes/

Q: May I touch you?
A: I invite respectful touch above the waist and below the knees. Any other mutual interaction is at my discretion and is not to be expected.

Q: Do you ‘speak other languages’?
A: I do enjoy taking you to the cool lands of Mother Russia, but other languages are beyond me.

Q: Why haven’t I heard back from you?
A: I respond to emails in the following priority:
-Scheduling requests from screened individuals. Bonus if you are requesting a time listed as available on my calendar.
-Scheduling requests from new friends that are complete in introduction and information
-Scheduling requests that are for more than a week from receipt
-Scheduling requests that have complicated requirements, have incomplete scheduling information, or require a look into dates and times outside my regular hours (emails with combinations of the above may not be responded to at all).
-Social emails
If you fall into the above categories, please be both patient and persistent. I sometimes will read and forget to respond to an email. If it has been more than a few days, please feel free to send along a gentle reminder.
-Anything obscene, rude, or suspicious will not be responded to under any circumstances.

Q: Do you have alternative Screening?
A: I have two methods for screening
1) Two current providers will vouch for your identity and character. Both providers MUST have some screening process of their own. Meet and greets, phone calls, or some sixth sexy sense are not acceptable
2) Your first and last legal name and willingness to produce a photo ID. I will perform a short, absolutely non-invasive check of your online presence and will confirm your ID in person upon your arrival.
No other methods of screening afford me the feeling of safety I need to feel confident in what is often a compromising situation.

Q: Will you come to me?
A: I will not. I spend a great deal of time and energy creating a safe and sensual place for us. It would take so much time and energy to create that space somewhere else that I wouldn’t have any left for you! If you need time before or after to warm up or cool down, social time is available for 50/hh.

Q: What if I’m running late?
A: Please let me know as soon as you find out if you are running either late or early. The more time I have to plan, the more smoothly any hiccups are dealt with. You can either email or text me. Please do NOT call me.

Q: What if I’m early?
A: Early arrivals should wait either in a parked vehicle, in one of the nearby coffee shops or restaurants, or in the lobby of my apartent building. If I have not yet told you I am ready DO NOT come to my door. I do not wish you to stand in the hallway and if I am not ready I will not let you in. If you have let me know you have arrived and I have replied that I am ready, feel free to come up early but ONLY after I have told you I am ready.

Q: What if I have to cancel last minute?
A: A lot of that depends on how soon you let me know.
-If you give me more than 24 hours notice, that’s it. We can reschedule when you’re ready.
-With less than 24 hours, I ask that you put up with an extremely annoyed Christina. Books (SciFi or nonfiction), delicious snacks (cured or cylindrical meats, dark chocolate, etc.), wine (any white except Chardonnay), or pretty lingerie (size 6/small or 32DD) are appreciated appeasements.
-With less than 12 hours please expect to add a little extra to the donation next time we meet. Minimum suggestion: 10% of what it would have been had we met.
-If you cancel with less than an hour’s notice expect to add 25% to the donation next time we meet.
-If you simply don’t show up, I will require a 50% cancellation fee as well as full deposit on our next appointment. Amazon gift cards work great for that.
(Exceptions to these policies may be made for extraordinary circumstances.)

Q: Do you do duos?
A: I love to engage in the art of three way sensual touch. Please inquire as to partners and occasions.

Q: May I have ‘multiple cups’ during our session?
A: Yes and no. We can take five or ten minutes near the beginning to clear the pipes, as it were, so you may enjoy a more prolonged experience later on. This is best for the young and the deprived who take only a moment to start and finish that first time and who desire increased staying power. If you are looking for a high energy, sustained tension experience, you may want to book one of my high octane session. Reserved for established friends.

Q: May I bring toys?
A: During our first encounter, please feel free to tell me about toys you enjoy using or having used on yourself. I am willing to experiment with what you bring but will not purchase toys, nor will any be used on me in our sessions.

Q: Are you fetish friendly?
A: Yes, in that I love learning about alternative sexualities and am happy to talk about them. No, in that I am poorly equipped in temperament for role play or BDSM activities. You would be better served elsewhere.

Q: Do you offer prostate massage?
A: Yes, I provide gloved PM. I will follow your lead as to timing and duration. Please be aware that unusually tall gentlemen may be better served in this elsewhere; I have rather short fingers.

Don’t see a question? Just ask 🙂 I may wait until we are in person to answer it, but I’m happy to.

Posted on

I saw, I said

I just finished writing an email to a reporter from NPR regarding a story the aired recently on KUOW, our local public broadcast station. You can find the article with a quick google of “NPR Aurora Prostitution” but the gist is that police are beginning to take care of the street based sex workers, in their own way, instead of simply arresting them. While in general I approve of this shift, part of the article bothered me. This is the email I wrote:

Dear [Reporter]

I heard the article concerning street based sex workers on Aurora. While I strongly appreciate the shift towards harm reduction and away from legal action, there was one aspect of the article I’d like to draw attention to.

The detective mentions that he used to believe that prostitution was not a victimless crime but has changed his opinion based on the abused and addicted women he has interacted with. I would like to point out that street based sex work is not representative of the community, particularly in Seattle. Because he interacts with the most vulnerable of our populations and offers services not needed by those of us who are happy and independent he does not see the scope of us. For every one street based sex worker there are two dozen at least who are, if not as enthusiastic as I, at least satisfied with their choices and not influenced by addiction, coercion, a history of abuse, etc.

While I do empathize with the struggles these women go through, I urge you to do a more thorough investigation into the Nordic model. Criminalizing our clients will do nothing to deter those who already break the social contract by mistreating sex workers. Many clients are already terribly skittish and careful, but they are also usually kind and respectful. While criminalization does not change behavior, as we have seen through the attempts to criminalize marijuana, alcohol, and sex work, it does deter the most accountable to the social contracts. If we put in place a system in which I retain my freedom, property, and reputation in exchange for giving up my beloved clients, those beloved clients may well become fewer and farther between. If I cannot pay my bills with revenue from kind, respectful clients, I must either lower my standard of living or accept greater risks. I’m not saying that no action should be taken to aid the minority group of disadvantaged sex workers, I’m only asking for you to do your own research, using the resources made available by sex work communities in addition to law enforcement, into the effectiveness of various models of legalization.

I and my clients are in a privileged place: I am young, white, raised middle class with two loving parents and a husband who stands by me. I entertain gentlemen who have many reasons for their actions but violence and victimization are not among them. Please, do due diligence to a topic that may become more and more in the spotlight following Margaret Cho’s admission and the James Deen/ Stoya saga. After prohibition and the war on drugs, the war on consensual sex work may be next. Like reefer madness, trafficking hysteria has roots in genuine issues of chemical dependency, illegal organizations, and victimization. Do not allow the voices of the indoor sex workers to stay out of your journalism because of the agonized voices of the few who truly do need help.

You played a sound byte regarding the nordic model by a local leader for SWOP Seattle. When I texted her to thank her for chiming in, she didn’t know what I was talking about. I assume that it was a quote from past interviews and I feel that she was quoted unfairly. She was responding in general terms to the nordic model, not specifically to the difference between truly exploited women, the only voices the police actually see and hear, and those of us who are educated and privileged.

This is a complex issue and I only ask that you and your fellow journalists encourage each other to fully investigate. I am happy to respond to any follow up questions you have and I appreciate your reading this. The truth is out there, help the world find it.

XO
Christina Slater
Seattle Indoor Sex Worker

I know we’re all very busy, but it’s like they say at the airport: “See something, say something.” If you see or hear an article in major, local news media that discusses sex work, please drop me a line and let me know. I will do my best to respond to the relevant parties. The more voices out there the less they can ignore us.

Now, off to lunch with the delicious Mslle. Sabatier. No more work for a few hours! haha.

Edit as of only 10 minutes later:

Her reply, beautiful, perfectly correct, and hopeful for future collaboration:
Christina,
Thank you for your thoughtful engagement. Of course it’s my desire to reflect all the voices and perspectives on an issue – that’s the highest and best purpose of my work – and I’m well aware that the community of sex work (consensual and otherwise) is large and varied. I can understand your frustration that your views and your experience aren’t better represented by this story.
Because the aim of this story was to answer a listeners question “why is there so much prostitution on north aurora avenue in Seattle?” I chose to focus only on what I saw – and what others saw – on North Aurora. What I saw was not the world of consensual sex work that you describe. Sergeant [officer] says the same. In a quote that didn’t make it into the story, he told me “I understand that there are some people who say sex work is a victimless crime, willing buyer, willing seller. I’m not a prude, and I’m not a zealot. I understand that may be happening somewhere. But I can only speak to what I see. And after years working Aurora, that’s not what I’m seeing. On my level.” I chose to focus on this street level, and like [officer], I called it like I saw it.
Perhaps a compromise would be to acknowledge the size and diversity of those who engage in sex work, and the variety of opinions on the matter. It would have been useful – and I wanted to find a way – to say that there is a very large and varied sex economy in Seattle of which Aurora comprises the most vulnerable and desperate corner. I didn’t do so purely because the limitations of time and of storytelling demanded more focus. This time, I told one story. Another time, I’ll tell another. Perhaps you’ll feel that one better represents the truth that you know.
Thanks for listening,

Posted on

Happy 2016!!!

My resolutions are to start riding my bicycle again, save more than I did in 2015, and travel. I hope yours are equally possible, bring you joy, and that you reach them. Best wishes and have a happy new year!