The Blog

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Do You See Women?

The short answer is yes, of course, anyone who wishes to spend their valuable time and hard earned money with me (and who treats me well) is welcome.

The long answer is “Yes, and…”

My pussy is straight. Kissing men gets me wet, having vaginal sex helps me orgasm, and my favorite flavor is blowjob. Biologically I am programmed to enjoy sex with penises and penis shaped objects. I’m very good at it and it brings me joy, pleasure, satisfaction, and a robust income.

I, however, am pansexual, or perhaps sapiosexual. I am fascinated by, curious about, and excited to touch and pleasure non-cis-gendered-male-people in a way that makes them feel safe and sexy. I am not as experienced with non-penis-owners but I’m getting more all the time and each new body is an exciting adventure. I’ve learned how to read the more hidden body language of the clitoris and to carefully interpret subtler facial expressions. I’m also aware, as a non-penis-owner myself, that there is a great deal of trust involved in receiving intimate touch from a relative stranger.

I have had gentlemen ask me if I could seduce their wife and pretend it was a random encounter. I have been asked to seduce people’s friends, girlfriends, wives, and every time I tell them no. I will not trick someone into having sex with me. Paying a sex worker to pretend she is just a pretty girl at a bar is a recipe for disaster when, not if, the victim finds out. I refuse to participate in any nonconsensual sex. Tricking someone into fucking me is not obtaining consent.

If, however, you two had a fantasy involving picking up a pretty girl at a bar and wanted to arrange the details ahead of time…

I have had folks ask if I would see their wives or girlfriends with them. To those wonderers: yes, but first we will meet without you for a massage and a chat. I want to check in with her without you present; the last thing any of us needs is a reluctant third in the mix. I also want to lavish her with sexy but non-demanding attention and to establish that she should expect more of the same when we are all together. As your professional third, everything I do will be for her. You’ll get what she wants me to give you and you’ll thank me for it later.

If you are an individual and you do not fit or identify with the above and you’re wondering if you can come see me: please, please do. Sensuality knows no shape or category. My hands are strong and gentle, my presence is warm and welcoming, my body is small and soft, and my heart is open. Perhaps you are struggling with dysmorphia or with your feminine sexual self after a history of shame or trauma, perhaps you need gender affirming touch leading up to or following surgery, maybe you just want a sexy massage that ends with some fun play time, or maybe you’re annoyed at all the pesky draping of a traditional massage and don’t mind checking out a pretty, naked girl while you get it.

Whatever brings you to my little corner of Seattle, rest assured you will have my full attention, my intuition, and a hefty discount.

So yes, I see women.

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June updates

Whew! It’s been a whirlwind of a month and it doesn’t look like it’s slowing down much. I’ve been in and out of town, hiking, working out, writing, planning, and trying to shoehorn in more reading time than usual.

I had my first useful trip to Portland. I planned better (not perfectly) and actually got some good time with friends and family.

I did get a hotel too far out of town. It made sense in regards to visiting a friend of mine who lives out past Beaverton but as for everything else… let’s just say that next time I’ll plan ahead better. I also stayed up too late and felt the effects of that plus driving as my whole body health got knocked around a bit.

The good news here is that I’m confident in my Portland trips. I have a strong anchor client which makes me feel more secure and makes the trips more pleasant.

What is an anchor client, you ask? An anchor client is the one who first brings me to a new city. Often we’ve met on a trip that brought them to Seattle (which I prefer whenever possible) and most importantly they have handled all my mistakes with grace. Running late, not knowing neighborhoods, asking them to accommodate my schedule, making them drive an hour out of their way because I’m bad with distances and maps and things… basically they’ve been the testing ground as I figure out a new place and so, now that I’m a bit more comfortable, they get special treatment.

Now that I have a trustworthy anchor in Portland, I get to go whenever I want, which may be about every 6-8 weeks, depending. So keep an eye out, make sure your newsletter profile includes ‘portland’ so you get travel notices directly to your inbox.

What else have I been up to? Well, doing some home repairs, as always, and there’s a naughty party going down this evening that I’m using to introduce my voluptuous friend Jules to the Seattle crowd. She’s so nervous for her very first orgy so I’m looking forward to walking her through it. Newsletter subscribers will be happy to know that, because of the volume of summer travel, my four handed special will be extended through July so there’s a bit of wiggle room.

There’s so much to do, so much to think about but I can’t write it all out here. I have to go on a wine purchasing errand, ha!

Oh, before I go: I’ve been working out and sunbathing so if you were terribly attached to my creamy skin and slight pudge you may want to brace yourself. Conversely: if I was a bit too pale or a smidge too round for your tastes the last time we met, you may be curious to come see the subtle changes.

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Work It!

She’s in such good shape! You’re embarrassed, shy, you know that beer gut shouldn’t be there and she’s going to see you all red and sweaty and it’s going to take everything you have not to stare at her all stuffed into spandex.

But your kids have gifted you ten personal training sessions and you’ve known for a while that you weren’t in the shape you’d like so you grit your teeth, mentally prepare yourself, and for the next fifty minutes you huff and puff and try to keep up with her.

“You did great! You’re gonna be so strong once I’m done with you.” And she beams at you the widest, most sparkling smile you’ve ever seen. Suddenly the agony of that last hour melts away, just for a second, just long enough to stick in your memory.

Ten sessions later and you’ve already noticed a difference. Stairs aren’t so annoying anymore and your pants don’t quite pull so hard at their button. And your instructor… the same brilliant smile every week, the same spandex, the smell of her as she stands next to you, encouraging you and talking you through your form.

Ten more.

Ten more.

Ten more.

You must be imagining it. She’s getting closer. She stopped wearing a loose shirt over her sports bra. She even started running on the treadmill beside you and caught you stealing glances. She smiles. Not just the brilliant, glowing smiles at the end, encouraging you to come back but smaller ones, looking at your ‘form’ as you lunge and squat and lift and fly.

“You know, I think you’re ready to graduate to more intense training” she tells you one day.

Is this…. It can’t be. But that look…. You used to get that look, when you spent a summer teaching bored, wealthy women to play tennis. The look that says “And by intensive training I mean enthusiastic sex.” But you haven’t gotten that look in years! No one looks at you like that anymore. Except you’ve seen yourself in the mirrors in the gym. You’ve seen inches disappear and muscles emerge that you also haven’t been seen in years. Maybe you are getting that look again…

“Well, you’re the professional” you answer, and give a nervous chuckle. You don’t want to make the wrong assumption and end up making a scene. “If you think I’m ready then I must be! What, uh, what does ‘more intense training’ look like?”

That is *definitely* the look.

“How does your schedule look Tuesday evening? Is seven too late?”

Your automatic reply: “But the gym closes at six.”

“I have a key.”

The look again

“Oh. Ooooh. Yes, seven on Tuesday.”

What the hell are you doing? It’s Tuesday morning and you still haven’t called it off. What if you get caught? What if you misread the situation? What if…. What if all the images and scenarios playing through your mind, over and over, for two days, what if they become real? You’ve been hard very nearly every moment since. At this point if you don’t go, you’re worried your cock will beat you to death in your sleep.

So you go.

The parking lot is empty but for a few cars and there’s a light on inside. As you approach the building, all the worry and concerns fade away. You’re committed now, no use stressing over it. If you’re wrong, you’ll deal with it. The note on the door says “Lock the door behind you and go to the green room” so you flip the lock and head down the hall.

***

Whipping them into shape is my favorite. There’s something both humbling and powerful about watching some schlubby dude accidentally get in shape while staring at my ass three times a week. I know they don’t stick around for my workouts. I’m good at managing, pushing enough, not too much. And sometimes, when the flab and the years of insecurity layered on by wives and girlfriends and the rest of the world gets beaten back, that hot young piece of ass he used to be comes back. That’s my favorite. That’s when I really get to have fun with them.

This guy is one of those. He came in beaten and dejected, hopelessly resigned, his flat abs a memory, firm ass long gone. And yet… Every week I watched and noticed him moving more easily, lifting heavier, keeping up better and better. And every week I could feel myself responding to him more and more.

Exercise is my most powerful aphrodisiac. Very few of my clients know how much they turn me on, that I’m using them, the smell of them, the sweat and grunting, to build fantasies every night. Lying in bed at home alone I replay my favorite gym sessions over and over in my mind’s eye. I watch them notice me noticing. I can see them regain their pride as I whip them into shape. I love telling men what to do; giving them the backbone they couldn’t find themselves and making them do what’s best for them. I use a carefully curated mix of encouragement, sexual enticements, and the invaluable reward of my approval to get them just where I like them.

This guy is finally just where I want him and soon he’ll be in this room with me, under my complete control, ready to sweat and grunt and pleasure me exactly the way I like it.

***

I set the scene perfectly, I already know what we’ll do and how he’ll respond. I get a kick out of shocking them so I don’t leave any transition time for them to get comfortable in between. The biggest shock comes first: from the moment they walk in the door until the moment they leave, I’m naked. Nakedness is the simplest way to throw a man off balance. I know they’ve been imagining it and I know they’re expecting it eventually but totally unselfconscious nakedness right from the get-go makes them so nervous. I love it.

There’s two of everything so I can make them keep up with me and watch while they do it. I’m not so foolish as to embarrass them but I never let them quite keep up. I am always in control, always the desirable end game, always just barely out of their reach so that when I do take them, it’s the richest, sweetest reward.

I can hear him in the hallway. Or someone with a nervous gait, at least. There’s always the chance the wrong person will walk through the door. I kind of like that. I revel in the shock on his face the moment he walks through the door.

“Take off your clothes, put on your shoes, and join me. Make sure you can see to follow.” As if he needed encouragement or permission to watch me move through an easy warmup routine. Movement, stretching, walking the line between overtly sexual and perfectly professional. He’s done all this before but he’s off-balance, unfocused. I don’t let him see my wicked grin every time his balance slips or he takes too long to start a new movement. We finish with partner stretches. First contact.

I’ve set the ellipticals to watch each other. I want to see the first beads of sweat on his forehead and his struggle to coordinate arm to leg as he tries to watch every part of me at the same time. I want to watch his muscles slip past each other and begin to swell and pump. I want to follow the drops of sweat with my eyes as they trail down his chest, those gorgeous abs, leaving wet trails through his dark hair, and slip past the base of his cock where, soon, my own sweat and the sweet wet of my pussy will be.

I allow myself an evil chuckle, watching his half hard cock wobble with every step. I do love a grower.

Now for the fun part. Weights. Nothing too heavy. I’m not pushing his body today, I’m pushing his mind.

Standing bicep curl. I’m behind him, pressed against him with my hands sliding around his hips to cup his cock. My face pressed into his back is salty and wet, my nipples sting with it and send an electric shock to my clit. I’ve been wet since the elliptical, slow drips running down my thigh, filling the room with a hot, sweet scent.

Chest press. I’m sitting on him, rocking my clit back and forth on his cock to keep it wet. He’s rock hard, distracted as shit, but I gave him light weights and with this angle I can give him instructions while I work myself up to my first orgasm of the evening.

Curl ups. I’m standing straddling him so every time he curls I tell him to taste me.

If I can’t reach his cock with my pussy I get my face in it, soaking up the musky scent. If I can’t get my face near it, I use my hands. No matter what he’s doing or where he goes, his cock is my toy. We go through my list, designed to touch every muscle at least once so I can see it work, watch it move, perfect its form.

“One last round of cardio. You’ve got this!” And I bend at my hips to hold tight to the frame, inviting him to sink his cock, the cock that’s been begging all evening, deep into me. I’ve been ready for so long, it almost hurts. I can feel myself swollen and throbbing and dripping, as his hard cock presses my pussy apart. I can feel every vein, every ridge, every sleek and smooth inch as he fills me. I can feel his flat hips bump up against my firm cheeks, then again, again, feeling the exquisite sensation of his cock sliding back and forth past my hot, slick lips.

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Temple of Woman

I have converted and will now preach the good news to the masses.

I’ve begun attending regular exercise classes. I’m going to be a bit circumspect on which ones exactly because it’s a small world around here and the classes I’m taking are pretty popular but without getting too detailed, this is what I can tell you:

I feel amazing and I’m looking better every day. My ideal body type in women is closer to Sofina than myself: wider hips, narrow waist, generous bosom; the fertile, supple body of a lush woman. Unfortunately my skeleton is the wrong shape to achieve that myself. Sigh. I don’t mind the uber skinny hard body look sported by Cloe May or Betty James but it’s neither within the grasp of my cheese-and-wine-loving self nor is it as high on my personal preference as the softball bod.

If you’ve ever seen softball players as a group you’ll know what I’m talking about. They’re muscular but not skinny so what you see is the soft swell of muscle bellies on the thigh, the back, the chest and arms, but none of them bulky or sharp-edged. They don’t *look* like they could beat you up, but they probably could. This look is within my dairy-on-carbs-fueled reach.

The classes I’m taking focus heavily on strength and mobility over bulk or weight loss. I’ve been in advanced classes with beer guts, pregnant women, and a whole line of little old ladies and chunky moms. There is no judgement, no shame, only progress and boy howdy have I made some.

I was skeptical at first. I bought a package of classes with an expiration date; externally enforced deadlines are great motivators for me. Within a month of going two or three times a week, my quads jumped out and surprised me. I was just goofing off one day and happened to look at my thigh while extending my leg and there was a muscle!!! Since then it’s gotten only more defined and made some friends. My obliques are sore now and again and I’ve gone from a handspan above the floor on my front bend to very nearly flat hands. You won’t believe how far apart I can get my knees until you see it. And I can hold them there a surprisingly long time.

With the convenience of the gym’s location and the extremely advantageous cost to return ratio, there’s no end in sight. I’m able to eat more while losing inches (though not pounds which is acool phenomenon), I can feel my skeleton shifting back into alignment, I feel stronger, and I’m starting to develop those two muscles on either side of my spine that make a woman look so sinuous and sensuous when viewed from behind and a little below.

I’m rocking my super light, short haircut and I’ve been gradually deepening my summer glow. By the end of June I’m going to practically sparkle in the sunshine, between my hair and skin reacting to the rays.

My one and only complaint is that my ribcage isn’t tapered towards the bottom so while my core is getting firmer, the soft feminine belly is getting more prominent. It’s not growing and it certainly fits my frame, it’s just not exactly the shape I want. Sigh. I suppose I’ll just have to build up my ass that much more to compensate. And don’t worry – with the amount of cheese and crackers I eat I won’t lose that perky bosom you seem so fond of.

If you’re curious to try out an effective and mentally stimulating exercise regimen and don’t mind exercising in groups, you’re welcome to ask logistical questions in person. It’s not that I don’t want to share the good news, but there’s a difference between you surprising me in class and smiling to yourself and a stranger standing out front of the classroom trying to figure out which one is me.

Who knows: maybe I’ll get so into it I’ll become an instructor and you can hire me to be your private teacher…

 

 

 

p.s. Yes, I know it’s late. I was in Bridge City Thursday and forgot to take my computer. I’ve backdated this post because I had it ready to go but If you were looking for it and missed it, I’m sorry.

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The Big Scary STD Post

We’re all concerned with our health and safety, right? I certainly hope we are. Well, here are some things I’ve learned when considering my health and safety that I’d like to share with you.

From the CDC website:

“Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are passed from one person to another through intimate physical contact – such as heavy petting –  and from sexual activity including vaginal, oral, and anal sex. STDs are very common. In fact, CDC estimates 20 million new infections occur every year in the United States. STDs can mostly be prevented by not having sex. If you do have sex, you can lower your risk by using condoms and being in a sexual relationship with a partner who does not have an STD. STDs do not always cause symptoms, so it is possible to have an infection and not know it. That is why it is important to get tested if you are having sex. If you are diagnosed with an STD, know that all can be treated with medicine and some can be cured entirely.“ [My emphasis added]

In this post, I will list the most common sexually transmitted diseases or infections, their prevalence, and my transmission reduction strategies. No sex is completely, perfectly safe but there are measures I take to significantly reduce the chances of myself contracting or unknowingly passing on STDs. My top two strategies are 100% condom usage for all genital-to-genital contact and a constant eye on cleanliness. I wash my body with soap before and after each encounter to remove as much sloughing skin as possible (carriers of HSV and HPV, among others), I use gloves for giving anal simulation, I rinse my mouth with alcohol based mouthwash after giving oral sex, I cover any cuts or scrapes with a waterproof barrier, and I keep linens and surfaces in my incall clean and regularly disinfected.
Where appropriate, I will mention other additional transmission reduction strategies.

HSV – Herpes
“Nationwide, 15.7 % of persons aged 14 to 49 years have HSV-2 infection2, however, the prevalence of genital herpes infection is  higher than that because an increasing number of genital herpes infections are caused by HSV-1
Infections are transmitted through contact with HSV in herpes lesions, mucosal surfaces, genital secretions, or oral secretions. 5 HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be shed from normal-appearing oral or genital mucosa or skin. 7,8 Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during genital contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. However, receiving oral sex from a person with an oral HSV-1 infection can  result in getting a genital HSV-1 infection. 2 Transmission commonly occurs from contact with an infected partner who does not have visible lesions and who may not know that he or she is infected. 7In persons with asymptomatic HSV-2 infections, genital HSV shedding occurs on 10.2% of days, compared to 20.1% of days among those with symptomatic infections. 8”

In addition to my standard reduction strategies: Prior to oral or genital contact, if I see anything that appears blister-like on or near your mouth or genitals, I’ll avoid contact with the area so keep that in mind when scheduling. This may mean no kissing, no giving or receiving of oral sex, or no sex at all. I will not give you your money back if you show up with a sore and we don’t have sex. I also specifically ask my doctor to order HSV tests with my routine checks as HSV is not on the standard STD panel.
A further transmission reduction strategy I do not employ is taking a daily antiviral medication. This method is used by anyone positive for the infection and helps prevent passing it on to an uninfected partner. Were I ever to contract HSV I would add this to my transmission reduction strategies. Should you find yourself positive for HSV I would take it as a great kindness if you would talk to your doctor about adding this to your daily multivitamin regime.

HPV (warts)
“79 million Americans, most in their late teens and early 20s, are infected with HPV
You can get HPV by having vaginal, anal, or oral sex with someone who has the virus. It is most commonly spread during vaginal or anal sex. HPV can be passed even when an infected person has no signs or symptoms.”

Pay REALLY close attention to this one, guys. It is safe to assume that every single provider you meet has come into contact with HPV and may be positive for one or more strains. You can’t test for HPV the way you can test for other STDs; it shows up on a pap smear as an irregular pap, or as warts, or as cancer. There are so many different strains that it’s simply not practical to find out about and all research is going into vaccines for a few strains.
Gentlemen: if you have daughters and you’d like to protect them from everything from embarrassment to death, please please please get them the vaccine before they are at risk of contracting it. The CDC recommends vaccinating as young as 9 years old, depending on the individual. No one wants to think of their nine year old as at risk for the kind of contact that exposes her to HPV but don’t dwell on it, just do it. This will protect her for her entire life; don’t let your discomfort keep you from protecting her, and don’t wait until you think she’s probably sexually active because, while it’s never too late to get vaccinated against everything we can, vaccines work best when you get them before exposure to the virus. My first likely exposure was around age 15 and I didn’t get the vaccine until 10 years later. Don’t let that happen.
As for you: wash your penis and the surrounding area thoroughly with soap both before and after your appointments This not only makes it nicer for your provider but helps wash off dead skin cells which is where the virus rubs off onto your partner. You’re looking to spend good time with any skin that comes into contact with hers: the base of your penis, balls, the surrounding area, probably inner thighs and up your belly depending on how wet she gets, and obviously your face. Also: If you’re going to manscape, the safest and easiest is not to shave but to trim close with an electric trimmer. I prefer about a half inch of fuzz to act as a cushion. I am extremely sensitive to stubble and razor burn compromises the skin, increasing the potential for transmission so simply be aware. If you cut yourself shaving, wait until it heals over to see anyone.

Chlamydia
“Any sexually active person can be infected with chlamydia. It is a very common STD, especially among young people.3 It is estimated that 1 in 20 sexually active young women aged 14-24 years has chlamydia.5
Chlamydia is transmitted through sexual contact with the penis, vagina, mouth, or anus of an infected partner. Ejaculation does not have to occur for chlamydia to be transmitted or acquired.”

Gonorhea
“In 2016, 468,514 cases of gonorrhea were reported to CDC.
Gonorrhea is transmitted through sexual contact with the penis, vagina, mouth, or anus of an infected partner.”

Syphillis
“You can get syphilis by direct contact with a syphilis sore during vaginal, anal, or oral sex. You can find sores on or around the penis, vagina, or anus, or in the rectum, on the lips, or in the mouth.”

Chlamydia, Ghonnorhea, and Syphillis are all serious but treatable. Signs and symptoms may include rashes, pain with urination, bad smell, and more but the best and only way to know if you have one of the above is to get tested. Testing is simple, easy, and at Planned Parenthood it’s not expensive. You as a client should be getting tested yearly; please do not lean 100% on your provider to manage your sexual health. My transmission and harm reduction strategy, as with other STDs, is cleanliness and barriers. There are reports of an antibiotic resistant Ghonorrhea in the UK which, due to the globalization of our world, may not stay there. Until I start hearing reports of it closer to home I still choose not to use barriers with oral sex but I am happy to oblige anyone who requests them and can refer you to colleagues who do as part of their routine practices.

HIV
CDC does not cite prevalence statistics
“You can get HIV from anal or vaginal sex or blood to blood contact such as shared needles. The presence of other STDs can increase the risks of passing HIV to sex partners and can also suggest the presence of other risk factors.”

Hepatitis C
“HCV infection is the most common chronic bloodborne infection in the United States, with an estimated 2.7 million persons living with chronic infection (222). HCV is not efficiently transmitted through sex (170, 223).”

HIV and Hep C are blood-borne pathogens. My additional transmission reduction strategy for both is to avoid things like tooth-brushing or eating scratchy foods right before an appointment and covering cracks or cuts on my hands with a liquid bandage. Also not being an IV drug user or a member of a health profession that comes into contact with blood helps me avoid possible direct contact with infected blood. If you want really detailed info on blood barriers and such, ask Mistress Matisse. She cuts people up all the time and does it safely so I’ll leave her with that. As for me, I simply try to avoid it as best as I can and use medical exam gloves any time I might be exposed to it.
For anyone positive for HepC or HIV, there are antiretrovirals that decrease the viral load to virtually zero, making the incidence of transmission low enough to be worth the risk for most. For anyone likely to encounter HIV, there is a series of pills (I’m pretty sure it’s pills but I could be wrong) that you can take before (pre-Exposure Prophylaxis or PrEP) or after (Post-Exposure Prophylaxis or PEP) your potential exposure to infected blood or sexual fluids. I know a few providers who are on it regularly, others who take it the weeks leading up to and following porn shoots, and have a few friends who take it because they are in love with an HIV+ person.
As an economically privileged woman who has sex with men, does not use IV drugs, and who uses condoms properly with each sex act, I am in a low risk category for HIV but it’s a high consequence risk so I take it seriously. I have chosen not to take PReP or PEP due to the side effects but you are welcome to ask your doctor.

Trich (this one is new to me – I’ve never even heard of it until this post)
“Trichomoniasis is the most common curable STD. In the United States, an estimated 3.7 million people have the infection. However, only about 30% develop any symptoms of trichomoniasis. Infection is more common in women than in men.
The parasite passes from an infected person to an uninfected person during sex. In women, the most commonly infected part of the body is the lower genital tract (vulva, vagina, cervix, or urethra). In men, the most commonly infected body part is the inside of the penis (urethra). During sex, the parasite usually spreads from a penis to a vagina, or from a vagina to a penis. It can also spread from a vagina to another vagina. It is not common for the parasite to infect other body parts, like the hands, mouth, or anus.”

BV (Bacterial Vaginosis)
“Bacterial vaginosis is the most common vaginal infection in women ages 15-44.
Researchers do not know the cause of BV or how some women get it. We do know that the infection typically occurs in sexually active women.”

Trich and BV aren’t something you’ll likely get as a penis-owner and fall into the yeast and Urinary Tract infections category: Annoying, uncomfortable, serious if not treated, but easily done away with for most. You can help me avoid suffering from these by keeping your hands and face either soft and clean or away from my pussy. Condoms provide a great deal of protection from what’s on and around your penis but it’s nice if that’s reasonably clean, too.

 

Other Information:

You may see claims that the prevalence of STDs is higher in sex work populations. Nearly every study in the US of sex workers does not include indoor sex workers in their sample group but instead focuses primarily or exclusively on street based sex workers. While I consider Street based sex workers my sisters, they are very often associated with high risk factors such as poverty, drug use, abusive relationships, undernutrition, and a high incidence of unprotected vaginal or anal sex. These are far more indicative risk factors than whether or not someone accepts items of value in exchange. Note that there is a fascinating subset of providers who choose to work as street based sex workers but avoid the attendant risk factors so, as with all things, never assume.

We know that every sex worker working in the legal brothels of Nevada is STD free because weekly testing is in their contract. We also know that in Australia where sex work is decriminalized in most states, “Currently, there is no evidence that sex workers in Australia have higher rates of STIs than the general population.” The same page from the Australian Sexual Health Alliance states, as I said earlier, “High priority groups include street based sex workers, sex workers who inject drugs, culturally and linguistically diverse sex workers, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander sex workers and male and transgender sex workers.“ Though in the US you might replace “Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander sex workers” with “sex workers of color or native descent” in the United States.

So what do we know? Well, we know that we are in a higher risk category to contract the more common sexually transmitted infections due to our higher incidence of sexual contact. We also know that as religious and informed users of carefully selected and properly stored condoms we are in a low-risk category. We know that we are in lower risk categories also due to our avoidance of IV drug use, our avoidance of drug and heavy alcohol use during sexual encounters, and our regular testing routines.

One of the reasons that young people and people in marginalized communities are at higher risks for STDs is that they are often under pressure to have unprotected sex or participate in other risky activities. If you’re drunk when you bang and the condom breaks, you’re a lot less likely to notice. If you’re young and inexperienced, you’re a lot more likely to give in to someone asking for unprotected sex. If you’re certain that you’ll notice if you get an STD so you avoid testing, you’re more likely to have an unnoticed infection.

So what do we do now? I get tested every three months; you should get tested every year simply because you’re having sex with me and I have sex with other people. You should absolutely get tested every year if you’re seeing providers as well as me and you should get tested at least twice yearly if you’re on tinder, Grindr, or other hookup sites and see new sexual partners in less informed demographics. You can have an STD and not know it. Your provider can have an STD and not know it. Knowledge is power; don’t give it away because you’re lazy.

This isn’t to scare you, it’s to remind you. I want us to have the safest sex we can reasonably have because I fucking love sex when I’m not anxious. If I’m concerned that you’re not committed to safer sex practices, I’ll be much less able to relax. One of the sexiest things you can possibly do is check the condom to make sure it’s in place and unbroken. (You don’t have to as I’m on top of it but it is reassuring.)

Side note: this isn’t a hint. I’m not slyly suggesting that I caught something and you should check for it, this is just something I think about a lot and felt like it would be useful to share.

All my STD statistics and about quotes are from the CDC STD info sheets at https://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm. The quote about sex workers in Australia is from http://www.sti.guidelines.org.au/populations-and-situations/sex-workers#testing-advice.

Thank you and happy humping!!

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Cane, By Jean Toomer

In my review of H is for Hawk, I wrote about loving the personal history. Knowing a bit about what the author was dealing with at the time of writing helps me understand the context and more deeply love the work. With the most recent edition of Cane, it’s easy. I read the afterword first, with it’s biography and analysis of his influence, both taken and given, and it made my reading of his work deeper and much more understandable.

 

Cane is an older book, written during the Harlem Renaissance by a black man who passed for white for much of his life. The afterword covers his life, his struggles with his race, and his anger at the way others treated his debut book. I can’t call it a novel because the longest story in it barely covers 50 pages, but it is… something.

 

I read recently in Ursula K LeGuin’s essay collection Words are my Matter that poetry should be read aloud. I felt foolish, rereading pages at home alone out loud to myself but I’ll be damned if she wasn’t right. Jean Toomer writes fucking gorgeous poetry about difficult topics.

 

It’s hard to explain the book without sitting down and showing you but I’ll do my best. Section one is set in the deep south and features almost exclusively women. Women who love the wrong man, women who don’t need love at all, but always women connected to the experience of black people in immediate post-slavery south, whether they be black themselves or only exist in a black community. They are deeply sexualized which makes me uncomfortable as a woman and extremely, stereotypically, earthy black which makes me uncomfortable as a white person. That discomfort, however, is nestled within beauty, tragedy, and a surprising amount of resonance. Reading aloud the lines as they fit together and lilt across my tongue felt both good and sad. I’ve never known poetry to speak to me that way.

 

Part two is a series of less beautiful but more focused poems and also short stories about growing up black in the north where there is freedom but still great prejudice. His characters are fetishized and punished and terribly normal and for me it’s a peek into an existence I’ll never know. A world where people look at you and assume you’re less interesting or less intelligent or less desirable just because of a color.

 

Part three is a short story, almost a novella, that is likely semi-autobiographical. It’s about a black man who grew up in the north, living and teaching in the south. Jean Toomer got his inspiration for Cane when traveling, as a black northerner, through the deep south. The story is depressing but I’m not sure if that isn’t exactly what it was like to be there then so I took it at face value. There are symbols I don’t understand and probably never will but I think it’s worth reading, for sure.

 

I can tell I’ll need more time with Cane in order to truly appreciate it. That he can make the violent death of a rat in a cane field feel poignant and beautiful in only a dozen lines is testament to his talent. It’s a simple read, if not easy or fast, but it’s worth reading, for sure.

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Experiments

I’ve tried being available day-of and found it stressful. So I’ve ended that experiment and moved on to new heights!

 

Boys are visual, I know, and I have a lot of pictures up around, I know, but they’re all so sweet and modest. I know that even the most circumspect class acts among us sometimes look at explicit images. I tend not to post those because it doesn’t fit with my classed-up girl next door vibe. But I found a place that feels appropriate. Gonewild, on reddit, is a forum for people to post naked pictures! Like, super explicit pictures. In order to furnish my beloved clients with an ever widening stream of pictographic enticement, I have created an account and posted, so far, five explicit images. Selfie-types, but without my face as I prefer not to be recognized by new anti-trafficking facial recognition attempts.

 

For selfie-type stuff, I have a snapchat now. Snapchat disappears after a set time, notifies me if someone screencaps my snap so I can control my image a bit more carefully, and my snapchat username is not connected to anything, really, Amie-related or otherwise. I’m not terribly active but I did send out a cute selfie of the return of the undercut and if I see something interesting in my daily life (such as cats or available boobs) I’ll send it out. This one is safe for work and reserved for folks I’ve seen in person and intend to see again.

 

And of course there’s my twitter but I’m only active in waves.

 

So there’s a few ways to kinda clue in, besides the blog, the website, and the newsletter, haha! I’m not naturally a big communicator when I’m not in the same room as the person I’m communicating with, but I know sometimes you want a little hi, how are ya in between get togethers so… Next time you visit, hit me up for my snapchat username and in the meantime enjoy those gonewild posts ;-P

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Moms are pretty great

At least mine is. We don’t always see eye-to-eye and I know she wouldn’t be happy with this particular life choice I’ve made, but we talk. Real talk. And despite out opposing ideas on how exactly to reach our goal, we both have the same one: make life better.

 

A lot of folks don’t have moms, either ever or anymore. Still more folks have moms who make their lives, if not worse, than at least not better. So I count myself among the lucky folks who love their moms and believe that they wouldn’t be the strong, interesting people they are without them.

 

My mom spent some time as a survival sex worker in her teenage years. What little I know of it leads me to believe that it would very easily fall under the ‘defrauded and coerced’ elements of the human trafficking definition, aside from the fact that she was still basically a kid. That a woman with that in her past managed to turn me out is a pretty clear sign that sex work, even the involuntary and abusive kind, doesn’t render women helpless or unable to make good choices moving forward.

 

She’s a thoughtful woman, taking her time with decisions, though some still come out not quite right. I’m learning to emulate the things in her that I admire: calm, quiet conversation, a self deprecating sense of humor, loyalty, faith in a cause, hope for the future.

 

I don’t want to dig too deep into my history, or my mom’s (gotta save something for the memoir, ha!) so I’ll leave you with this: I hope there’s a mom in your life that can lend you inspiration. It doesn’t have to be your mom, god knows there are other inspiring moms in my life, but someone who has been through the unique and all encompassing trial of creating life, bearing it, raising it, and loving it even when it fucks up. Step moms, moms-in-law, grand-moms, aunt moms, adopted moms, and the mothers of your chosen family. Take a moment to remember the things that make you smile.

 

And also order flowers today for whichever woman you’ll catch hell from if you forget! 😉

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Duck SESTA!

I know some folks are kind of aware of what’s been going down in the industry but for those of us who are only marginally if at all plugged in: 

 

Last week the President signed into law a pair of acts collectives know as SESTA/FOSTA 

 

They claim to fight sex trafficking by giving tools to law enforcement but the reality is that it targets all sex workers, irrelevant of our own status as consenting or even legal such as  in Nevada. 

 

There’s a clause in the Communications decency act that says a website cannot be held liable for illegal content posted by third party users. If I sell you a stolen bike via craigslist, it’s not Craigslist’s fault that you bought a stolen bike. If I promote the anarchist’s cookbook over Facebook, it’s not Facebook’s fault if someone builds a bomb. This act eliminates that protection but not in the cases of the stolen bike or the bomb builder but in the case of ANY possible instance of sexual labor, consensual or otherwise. 

 

Guys. This is fucking big. This is an attack on online freedoms and the freedom of speech as well as on anyone taking control of their sexuality and using it to further their own goals. There are dozens of op-eds popping up about it if you google it and many of them are questioning the real motivations. Who really benefits from this law? Because it’s not anyone I know.

 

There’s a group in Seattle preparing to launch a huge pro- SESTA/FOSTA PR campaign so keep an eye out for it and stay skeptical. 

 

After Backpage removed it’s adult services section, I posted a list of my favorite six advertising platforms. Of those six, one is gone, one is so slow as to be not useful, one is not accepting new advertiser profiles, two are cost prohibitive for many but are still around, and one has severely cut back on what posters are allowed to say. 

 

I also linked to others’ lists. Of 41 advertising options posted by the cauldron NYC, 18 have gone down, either through neglect or as a direct response to SESTA/FOSTA. Of the remaining 23, thirteen have limited utility due to regionality and difficulty of use or are not accepting new members and only ten out of 41 advertising options are still viable. Of those ten, none are free and few are cheap.

 

Worst of all, the two private blacklists I know of are also cutting back on what people are and aren’t allowed to say. One isn’t even allowing incident descriptions anymore. Knowing the details of a black mark is a critical part of deciding which risks to take and which to avoid at all costs. Only those of us living well in the clear can afford to take no risks at all.

 

This is not going well. You’ll be seeing more vague comments, fewer reviews, and just a general shyness in all industry interactions. You who know me will see how that level of side-mouth-talk irritates the bejeezus out of me but at least my options are open much wider. 

 

One local and immediate short-term solution is literally just giving people money. The Coalition I’ve spoken of is accepting donations for an emergency fund to support sex workers who were living on the edge before this happened and are reaching the end of their resources. Monthly phone plans, immediate food needs, utility bills, etc. It’s going through a few trusted individuals who have direct exposure to marginalized communities but if that’s not in your comfort zone, simply scheduling an appointment with a lady you already know or paying a girl’s full rate even if she’s running a special are ways to help. 

 

I’m ok. I’ll be ok. Actually, a lot of us are going to be ok. Tuesday evening I gathered with a dozen or so providers and about sixty percent of us are ok. But that’s 40% of us scared for our future and one of us has died as a direct result of the loss of advertising and safety mechanisms. Over a dozen have died nation-wide in deaths directly related to losing safety mechanisms and more will go.

 

There are calls to action coming from many sides. I can’t put everything everywhere. If you care about the incredible women who fill little pockets of your life with pleasure and joy, you’ll care about this. Survivors Against SESTA is full of up to date information and resources as is the sex workers subreddit and fostaupdates.com so poke around, see what’s up. We’re still around, it’s just going to be a bit harder for the next little while.

 

Once again I’d like to thank the generous, kind, consistent gentlemen who have allowed me breathing room so I’m not afraid. I appreciate your continued patronage.

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Thank God it’s Over!

Tax Season, I mean. Corralling documents, shuffling money to the right accounts, waiting with bated breath for the accountant to reply…. done. All over.

The rain is gone for now, the sun is shining, my life is filling back up again with friends and volunteer opportunities, and my trips out to Eastern Washington are beginning. And it’s about time. My trip to Hawaii in January only delayed the inevitable; I’ve spent much of the last three months in the doldrums, spa days and sweet gentlemen only barely staving off ennui.

But no longer! As my days fill up again, the lifeblood of summer travel brings us back to each other again and again. By september I’ll have forgotten the entire month’s income I had to sign away to Uncle Sam, the slow, sad passing of grey, clod days. I’ll be ready for the season of warm fires and long books.

Until then, Welcome summer and so long, tax season!