Welcome to my new website!
It has been… a lot for me.
Since the beginning of the year:
I have been the chaperone for not one, not two, but three dental procedures requiring anesthesia.
My website was entirely deleted, with very little notice, and I had to rebuild it from scratch.
My grandma passed. I made sure all her family was able to attend the funeral, including flights and driving.
I have been assigned executor for both my parents’s wills. Yes, it’s related to the above.
I was primary dog walker, among other caretaking duties, for a friend who got a new liver recently.
I inherited a dog. Yes, it’s related to the above.
I inherited a mortgage. Yes, it’s related to the above.
Taxes are due in a couple of weeks?
It’s only April, guys.
What did I do? HA!
While some of my previous failures to post have been due to other things, namely my own executive dysfunction, this past few months I don’t feel so bad. It’s been one fire after another, plus trying to maintain my life in between. I’ve been to the gym twice in six weeks, and only in the presence of focused friends have I managed to run with any regularity. Honestly, I wouldn’t even be writing this if Phryne hadn’t looked me in the eye and said “What can I do? How can I help? Do you need an admin date?” in response to me caterwauling at my own lack of digital upkeep.
All things considered, I am ok.
In fact, I might be better than ok. I have support from every angle. From my family: I have gratitude and understanding from nearly every corner, and from absolutely every corner I value. My friends are kind, thoughtful, loving, and helpful. My clients are kind, reliable, understanding, flexible, and pretty fucking hot. I write this in the company of a good friend and a good dog, with the love and support of all the people closest to me. Whatever they future holds, I will be as safe and loved as my people can make me, and that’s a lot of safe and loved.
Because so many people live today alone. Feeling unloved. Unsupported. Unseen. Maybe one of these people is you.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this. It’s bleak world right now. Tricky to navigate. Catfishes. Scammers. Pandemics. Secret files. Wars. Gas prices. Job insecurity. And I guess we’re planning to go to the moon again soon?
But the world has been bleak before. The end of the Pax Romana. The crucifixion of Christ. World wars. Genocides. Pandemics. Recessions.
And yet…
We survive.
We make friends.
We make love.
Things feel heavy right now. Here in this moment, it’s so hard to see the end.
As it was every time before.
The Roman Empire fell into the dark ages, but the dark ages weren’t as dark as we thought. Christ’s death seeded a new movement centering by love and forgiveness. World wars have inspired globe spanning peace pacts. Pandemics broke new ground for accessibility worldwide. Recessions remind us to think small and see our neighbors.
The world will not end today. It won’t end tomorrow. Humanity is resilient, and I have hope that when we bounce back, we will bounce back hard enough to find space for the small and the vulnerable; people who find it difficult or impossible to care for themselves. In the meantime, I live with several mantras.
First: The Time is the Point.
Learn a new skill, try a new hobby, go for a walk without a plan. When you notice that nagging impatience, that little voice that says “you should be better at this” and “you should get this faster” reply: “Shhhhhh. Breathe. The time is the point.” You’re not here to insta-learn, or skills-maxx, as the young-uns are calling it. You’re here to live.
Second: It’s Gonna Be OK.
People come and go, life rises and falls. Beings come into our lives and leave them. Our purposes become clear and cloudy by turns. It’s ok. It’s gonna be ok.
And finally: Something is Better Than Nothing.
It’s so hard to do everything. The gym, the dog, the family, the job, the getting enough sunshine and going to the doctor. Calling friends, playing games, keeping up… It’s exhausting!
Until you realize that something is better than nothing. That 20 minutes at the gym is better than none. That a phone call instead of an in person walk is acceptable. That two out of three tasks will do. That a five minute doggy potty break helps. One minute of meditating while you brush your teeth is better than no minutes…
…
The time is the point.
It’s going to be ok.
And something is better than nothing.
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The time is the point.
It’s going to be ok.
Something is better than nothing.
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Also you should touch boobies whenever you can. They’re great!