When You’re Expecting

We all have expectations, and we should, because otherwise why would we do anything ever? The problem is, many people have unrealistically high expectations and are disappointed when the experience falls short. So, here are two lists, one for clients and one for providers, of reasonable, realistic expectations.

As a client, you should expect your provider to:
-Be on time
-Resemble her photos (some use fake photos for privacy. That’s ok, they just need to accurately represent her.)
-Provide services as advertised*
-Provide a clean location if she offers incall
-Not up-sell unless for off-menu services
-Keep the session moving so you complete desired/available activities within the time allotted

Everything else is variable, but it is not unusual for your provider to:
-Be attractive
-Be enthusiastic
-Provide more than minimum services
-Agree to special requests when possible
-Have amenities on hand such as oral hygiene products and a variety of condoms
-Accommodate those with varying levels of ability or health

And while it’s nice when it happens, you should never expect your provider to:
-Let the session run overtime
-Offer social time off the clock
-Provide off-menu services**
-Accommodate special requests with short notice
-Be available same-day/immediately
-Engage in lengthy conversations outside of session time
-Put up with pushy or whiny behavior

As a provider, you should expect your client to:
-Be on time or, if late, still pay the full amount
-Pay the full amount without talking about it
-Leave on time
-Shower if asked
-Not pressure you for extra services

It’s not unusual for your client to:
-Be a few minutes early if time allows
-Be appreciative of your time and services
-Put the money down discretely before the session
-Initiate a trip to the restroom to freshen up/shower
-Want to pleasure you

And while it’s nice when it happens, you should never expect your client to:
-Watch the clock for you
-Leave early
-Be in perfect health
-Take you out for paid social time or shopping trips
-Be perfectly clean all over***
-Be good at pleasuring you

Now that we’ve set our expectations in a realistic place, we can move forward. When things we reasonably expect to happen don’t happen, we have options, the least productive of which is to be angry. We can simply not see that provider or client again, we can write a review or an alert detailing the issue factually without emotion, or we can waste our emotional resources on an already unsatisfying experience. I know what I would do.

Obviously I didn’t include things like ‘you should expect your client to not rape or kill you’ and ‘you should expect your provider to not arrest or rob you’ but those seemed a bit obvious and, except for rare occasions, should not be necessary to enumerate.

So next time you find yourself walking away from a session disappointed, check your expectations before you get angry. If you feel entitled to extra time or services because you’ve been seeing a lady for ages, check your expectations.

…I say to the choir. If you’re reading this, you’re probably one of my darlings who exceeds my expectations regularly. These unrealistic expectations are a phenomenon I often see on forums and boards but rarely see in person. I hope, if you read this and I resonates with you, that you are able to understand both sides of this unusually intimate dynamic and it helps you empathize with your provider or your client when they ask for or begin to expect more than is realistic.

*This is a tricky one since we can’t explicitly advertise specific services but for massage/FBSM/erotic bodywork/body rub/etc you can reasonably expect to be touched all over, Have her attempt to give you at least one orgasm, and have shower facilities available. Skill level, mutual touch, kissing, cuddling, enthusiasm, energy level, and more are variable and require research into reviews and advertising analysis. For full service, you can reasonably expect to receive oral sex (most ladies will indicate whether they provide oral sex with or without a condom), cuddle, and experience penetrative sex. Most ladies will allow you to give them oral and will kiss you; if they do not they will usually indicate that or it will show up in her reviews. Even then, if you have Erectile dysfunction or other issues you may not be able to engage in penetrative sex. This is not your provider’s fault.

**Off menu services are exactly that: off menu. While some providers will provide them for an additional fee, many will not offer them at all. A client is welcome to ask, a single time, for off menu services and be satisfied with the answer. Asking again after being told ‘no’ is not cool. Asking multiple times, pressuring, guilting, or attempting are all grounds to end a session early and potentially blacklist the client.

***Faces, fingernails, and butts are the bare minimum. Use wet wipes instead of TP if you’re not planning on a shower. Wash your hands and rinse your mouth with mouthwash at the start and end of the session. File, don’t cut, your fingernails And scrub underneath them. Nobody likes bacterial vaginitis. If you can’t avoid stubble or have a particularly bristly beard, go easy on her skin, particularly if you’re giving her oral as that’s a very delicate, sensitive area and stubble can steal orgasms. Shaving mere hours before is not a guarantee you won’t have stubble. If she offers oral sex without a condom, rinse your penis with water (under your foreskin if you have one) and wash your balls with shampoo or soap. All the way to your anus. When in doubt, ask. Take chlorophyll tablets regularly.

4 Replies to “When You’re Expecting”

  1. I love your blog. While I always strive to be thoughtful, conscientious and polite with all providers, the excitement of the situation often clouds better judgement. You make me a better human in all ways. I can’t wait to see you again.

  2. Newbie hobbiest question (looking forward to my first FBSM). Good tips on hygine and grooming – thanks.

    What about body hair… I’m sensitive about grossing-out a provider with what I got goin’ on in that department. Fair-skinned, fair-haired, so what’s there is relatively non-coarse and lighter in color — I’ve seen farrrrrr worse in my peer group. I’m more self-conscious about my back (and maybe it’s just me, but it seems back hair warrants a greater gross-factor), so I keep that under control so I feel comfortable shirtless when I’m kite-boarding. Googling pix, picture a shirtless Pierce Brosnan or Chuck Norris level of “lushness”.

    Shaving the chest & abs are gonna be a no-go (the “boys” are kept smooth and the foliage above are kept under control), so I guess the question is the back: shaved (and possibly “bristley”) or just let ‘er go wild?

    1. First of all: Your provider should be a thoroughgoing professional. An overly hairy back, to me, just means more oil.

      I am for more concerned with how things feel than how they look. I prefer the soft, scrubby feel of long (but maybe trimmed) hair in pretty much any place to the corrosive bristle of stubble. My skin is so sensitive than even your day old stubble is irritating. My personal vote is either keep it thick and lush or wax it. Waxing last longer and it’s softer when it comes back in. I get my outer labia, underarms, and lower legs sugared on a regular basis and some places hurt more than others but do keep in mind that the first time is always the worst. I have no idea how much it might hurt to get your back waxed but if you’re really that worried about it that’s my recommendation.

      1. I just can`t believe there is one person that i know of today after i read this blog that had exactly same thought about expectation to each other as details as i did from day one since i know how to pickup the phone to call an escort to meet them. Just shock the heel out of me, i thought i`m the only thinking about all this expectation and did it every time be4 i`m gonna getting close to a female. Wow, i just…wow. Addictional about hairs on replies above, i have no problem at all bout that becuz my body has no hair at all accept only one spot down there and i saved off too…lol. I don`t like hair anymore since i started going bald after a few years i came to the US. My skins are smooth like an ill if is wet seriously…lol. Thanks God, saved me a boatload of $ for razors. Anyway,thank you so much for making a blog like this to teaching a lot of pepols, surprisingly many didn`t even know about this as put them self in other shoes, worry about nobody but them self both clients&providers, speaking of my experienced. I wish everyone come to your wesite to read this, specially i hope after they read,they remember and do so. Thanks Chris. Never met you be4 but I think you`re an incredible woman. Again, thank you:)

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