My Apologies

I recently posted a short rant to our local review board. It was in the form of a question, I acknowledged that it was a little rant-y, and it absolutely will not apply to you. I know that because you’re reading this and the whole post was about how annoyed I get when people don’t read my website, particularly the FAQs and Contact pages. I only get annoyed because I’ve spent a ridiculous (to me) amount of time and energy publishing answers to any question I could think of, then trying to make it appealing and when it is so obviously disregarded I get frustrated. Sorry. I can hear myself doing it again and this time I’m preaching to the choir. The reason I bring it up at all is to issue an apology.

One of my beloved clients apologized for not consulting my calendar before asking for a get-together. Not consulting my calendar happens to be a more common pet peev to be triggered and this particular situation was one of several that triggered my rant. The apology was also a defense: my calendar is blocked at his workplace and he would get in trouble for checking his cell phone. It reminded me that 1: I need to understand that there are often extenuating circumstances and 2: no one can read my mind. We saw each other a week or two after the whole rant and I got to experience once again the feeling of absolute forgiveness.

My apology is this: I am sorry for any unfairness or delays in communication that come as the result of a pet peeve hitting my nerves. I won’t apologize for snarky (not rude) responses because I personally feel they’re justified and I won’t apologize for the prejudice I’ve established as the result of my irritation because it doesn’t exist. As irritated as I may get (which isn’t much), as bitchy as I may sound (also not much, I hope), as vehemently as I complain to my girlfriends or the internet (which is a lot, haha), I hold no preconceptions about you. As soon as you walk through my door, you are a tabla rasa, a blank slate upon which your behavior in person, not our communication dictates my behavior towards you. The truth is this: my temper is quick to rise and quick to fall and I have a terrible memory. When I see your smiling face I can’t even remember the 18 emails it took to get you here, much less stay irritated at them. All I remember is your smile, your caring words, your respectful touch, your ecstasy and appreciation for my help in you reaching it. And so I say I’m sorry if I made it seem like you were unwelcome or unappreciated because of my public discussion of a pet peeve or by the snark in my response.

Thank you and I apologize. Know that when you walk in the door, I am the happiest I’ve been all day.