I’m not sure why I don’t get this question very often but my friends often do: some variation of “what’s on the menu?”
I haven’t had a menu for a long time, partly because it wasn’t normal on the old board, partly because I was doing massage only and it’s generally understood to be pretty restrictive, and partly because I don’t want to promise the same thing to different people.
As I get back into the swing of things, I’m learning that I have a cycle of desire. I sort of knew that already; there were days when my body responded with near irresistible desire and others when even people who usually turned me on weren’t doing it for me. I’ve only in the last week started actually recording these swings because it finally became really important.
I’ve talked to a few people about this; how some days I’m just not excited for sex but other days I can’t get enough. Without fail, everyone wants to come over when I’m insatiable. This sounds great to me, too! The problem is, so often, I don’t know until I’m in the moment. It’s been a few hours since my last orgasm and I’m already craving another, daydreaming about my boys and which one I’d like to have over, but it’s too late to coordinate an actual get together. I can’t expect you to be at my beck and call when I find the inverse irritating.
So I’m keeping track, finding correlation, and I’ll be letting people know when it comes up because it dictates in a big way what I’m willing to do for the day. Now, I’m always good, giving, and game. I’m always up to bring you pleasure, you don’t have to worry, but I’m not always able to come, I’m not always able to selfishly receive, and I’m never able to just fake it till you make it. If you see ‘shark week’ on my calendar, it’s because I’m in a fucking frenzy.
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As a tangentially related note, receiving sexual touch authentically is probably one of the hardest parts about this industry. There are many ways to receive sexual touch authentically, and they don’t all look the same. For a few, it means only having sex when they’re in the mood. For some, it’s about only doing things that are if not pleasurable, at least comfortable. For others, it’s about doing whatever is necessary to provide a great experience for the client. For many, it changes from session to session and each person holds different things from their clients for themselves.
I do know there are a lot of lovely darlings out there who love to please and pleasure. You like cunnilingus and intimate massage and playing with my body to bring pleasure. There are some of my esteemed colleagues who offer a middle ground between one-way sensual touch and full service. I considered this for some time and ultimately decided not to. My beloved givers who I empathize with so deeply, yes, you may pamper me as much as you desire and I welcome your ministrations. Goddess worship, mutual masturbation, reciprocal oral, all these things are wonderful and welcome. I strongly feel that there is no less intimacy, trust, and energy required to receive your hands or tongue than to receive your cock. I do not value your touch any more or less because of which part you use and I hope you will not value my time any more or less in return.
Most of my clients want to see me enjoy myself. I appreciate that my pleasure is important, I’d much rather be with someone who cares that I’m at least comfortable. This is why this conversation is important: my desires aren’t always for sexual stimulation, just like you. I cannot promise to come every time. I cannot promise to want sexual pleasure every time. I cannot promise you any act every time (although there are a few I rarely skip). I can’t even promise you’ll get off (though I will do my darnedest) in exactly the way you want every time.
I can, however, promise to always be present with you, not distracted by my phone or my personal life. I will always be ready to help you reach your orgasm in whatever way I can. I will always let you know if something isn’t good or right so you can help me receive pleasure. I will always communicate about our needs and desires. I will always take care of myself so that I am ready to take care of you in turn. And I can promise that every once in a while, I will ask you to not worry about my pleasure and simply take yours, freely given, with joy and respect.