Review: Duo with Claire Wild

LOCATION: Our place on First hill
DATE: Several times; this is an amalgam
NAME: Claire Wild
INCALL/OUTCALL: Our Incall, but she offers outcall
AGENCY OR INDY: I can’t imagine her needing anyone else
ACCURATE PICTURE: Absolutely, and recent
AGE: Just turned 40 and is just hitting her sexual stride
PERSONALITY: I had someone describe her as glowing. I can’t argue with the truth!
RACE: Caucasian but olive complexion and very clear skin
BODY TYPE: Petite, slender
WEIGHT: I’m terrible at this part, but if I’m 135, she must be 115 or 120?
HEIGHT: A bit taller than me but not towering or anything
BUST: I’ve heard the term ‘a perfect handful’ before but until Claire I didn’t have a clear picture of what that looks like. I do now. Beautiful nipples that can take a lot more pressure than mine, that’s for sure.
WAIST: Slender and fit, gently curved both up and down.
HIPS: slightly flared from her slender waist, when I catch her backside in the mirror it makes me really wish I had a cock.
HAIR: Dark, almost black, cleopatra style but with waves
EYES: Slate blue eyes under those black bangs is striking and gorgeous
FEET: Clean and petite, painted
SKIN TONE: she looks tan but I think that’s just her natural tone. For me it’s perfect.
TRIMMING: She just discovered the Brazilian wax and is enjoying the novelty of hardwood
TATTOOS: None
SCARS: None that I noticed
PIERCINGS: Both ears and a tiny stud accentuating her smile-crinkled nose
MOLES: A pleasant smattering of beauty marks, nothing distracting
BIRTHMARKS: Nothing distracting
CLOTHES: She loves to dress up and keeps buying all these cute lingerie sets. We got to take a trip to that shop by the 5th Ave theater and she and I both walked away pleased, to say the least.
GLASSES: None During session but she does have them if you like that.
MOANER OR A SCREAMER: Definitely on the quieter side but neither he nor I had any doubts of her pleasure and engagement. We also talked about lots of naughty things the whole time.
ENERGY LEVEL DURING THE SESSION: Playful, coming and going, we definitely didn’t let him rest much, haha!
MULTI SHOTS DURING THE HOUR: Out of the two hours we three had set aside for ourselves, I doubt he was out of our hands for less than 20 minutes. One veeeeeery long, prolonged, slow burn complete with all sorts of arousing touches. I’m so proud of her skill!
ACCEPTS FRENCH: Not for us in duo but get to know her well and she may let you into her inner circle.
SMOKES: Nope, never and nothing
DRINKS: She does not, but she does love her bubbly water.
KISSES: Sweet, smiling, sensitive, sensual
FRENCH: FBSM but again, get to know her and see where it goes
GREEK: Pretty sure neither of us enjoy that regardless of session but we’re happy to give!
RUSSIAN: She’s getting much better with her hands, though those from nipples slipping across… Ahem, anyway
DO’s or DON’T’s: DO go see her, don’t expect your first time to reach the level of trust and safety she and I and our long time regulars have developed.
WEB-SITE: http://www.clairewild33.com
SCREENING PROCESS: References are simplest but she does offer screening similar to mine.
PHONE: She will provide at her discretion
RATES: 180/hour, 240/90 minutes, 300/2 hours, social time 50/hhr
RECOMMEND: Wholeheartedly! She’s learned so much so fast I’m amazed.
COMMENTS:

This will be a bit of an amalgam of the sorts of things we get up to. At first, our duos were me teaching her and getting her comfortable playing with strangers and new friends. Her authenticity and enthusiasm and of course new-ness was charming and fun for all of us to play with. She is just as into girls as she is into guys so duos with her are fun for the whole family 😉

A few weeks ago we got to do a little role playing. She and one of her beloveds invited me to play teacher. I dressed up in my corset and heels and, over a glass of red wine, watched her work and offered tips and techniques to add to her repertoire. Watching her slinky, tight body bow and lean and curve and wriggle all over him was a pleasure for myself and he sounded very much like he was enjoying himself. Taking my instructions drew out a little of the submissive in her, but more on that later. When it came time for her to focus on his cock I stepped in with a little hands on instruction, demonstrating my accumulated expertise on cock worship and pleasure. Oh we had fun and our poor gentleman friend was finally reduced to a quivering wash of endorphins and astonishment. I was impressed by her constant engagement, enthusiasm, and the little peek into her submissive side.

Then, just last week, we had a birthday boy! When a lady trusts a gentleman, she is able to walk the very edge of her boundaries without fear. All three of us walked the line that day. She and I daydreamed about a pair of strap ons that we could use on each other, he and I earned her permission to spank her, gently but firmly, until we could see little pink hand marks, she and I played with his body from head to toe, the whole while keeping up a giggling, gasping, triologue. It reminded me of my very first three way: my attention focused on them and their pleasure, using my hands and voice as tools to bring them to that sweet, sweet climax. He was conscientious, keeping hands where they were welcome and never pushing. What a rush! What pleasure! What joy and genuine affection and trust we were able to create!

Claire is a darling. She is somewhat new to this work but is learning far faster than I did. She is submissive by nature but has the wisdom and will needed to hold boundaries and keep herself safe. Duos are particularly good for exploring submissive fantasies with other ladies because we have the assurance of a fellow professional in case things get out of hand. I strongly suggest adding Claire to a session with your favorite lady or seeing her on her own. She is the kind of person who deserves and values long lasting connections and I feel so fortunate to have met her (and seen her naked!! Haha!!)

Where The Hell Were You?

As you know I’ve been out of touch for a while because I got to go to Europe for the first time ever! On the first I flew from Seattle to Reykjavik (really Keflavik as that’s where the airport is) and began my first experience with jet lag. Oh my god it’s awful! The first day was sitting until near sleep, then walking until sore feet and shoulders forced a break, rinse, repeat.

Iceland is beautiful. It’s rugged, mostly mossy, cold rocks, but warm when the sun is out. While the city of Reykjavik is interesting and the Viking history present at museums and in the shops was interesting, the true charisma rises in plumes from the volcanic activity and the natural wonders it leaves in its wake. Geysers and hotspots are everywhere, used not only to attract visitors by their magnificence but also to provide nearly unending energy. All 220,000 residents of Reykjavik (2/3 of Iceland’s total population) get their hot water directly from a nearby hot spring and, while you wouldn’t want to drink it, it’s used to heat homes, generate electricity, and fill the hot tubs at the local public pool. Even the sidewalks and the roads are heated in Iceland!

The Blue Lagoon is indeed very blue and the complementary silica mud facial treatment is fun both to apply and rinse off (and throw at each other), but as with other well known attractions it quickly fills with other travelers and loses its charm. Ditto with the geothermal activity at Geysir (GAY-zer), the tectonic rift at the Golden Circle, and Gulfoss, Iceland’s largest waterfall. Of course, with a car instead of on a bus tour I’m sure avoiding fellow tourists would be easier but renting a car on Iceland is extremely expensive so I decided against it. That was a mistake. Being able to see some of these magnificent natural wonders when no other people are around gives them a sense of dignity and power that diminishes in direct proportion to the number of people you bump shoulders with on the way.

My favorite parts were walking through an ancient cemetery all alone on a quiet, cold morning, drinking too much with the locals late on a Monday night, the fabulous pastry shop that opens at six every morning, and my two afternoons at the public pool surrounded by locals, chatting in the hot tub and sweating it out in the steam room.

If I were to go back to Iceland, I would rent a car or a camper van and drive around, trying to avoid other tourists. I realize the irony of being a tourist and trying to avoid other tourists but with enough of them present the travel loses its impact, I think. I would bring a sweater as well as a raincoat, and I would spend an hour or so every single day at the local public pool. Also I would try the puffin. I tried the dried fish with butter. It was ok. I watched a girl from California try the fermented shark. It didn’t look ok so I opted out, haha. I did, however, explain to her exactly why it tasted like ammonia. She took it surprisingly well.

After Iceland it was Scotland. From the nice man at the airport to the friendly drunks at the bar every. Single. Person. In Scotland is friendly as shit. Even the customs agent joked about trains in Scotland and this was after a ridiculously slow line so I can’t imagine he had a articulately good reason to be cheerful, he just was.

After the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh the first order of business was to meet up with my friend and photographer Alex. She only had a few days left before coming back to Seattle so we made the best of it with street food, cheap drinks, and a late night snack adventure. At the convenience stores we found soft sandwiches, cheap wine, and the scotch version of Red Bull. It’s called IrnBru (iron brew) and tastes like a cross between bubblegum and skittles. It’s really weird but has tons of caffeine so it was the preferred alternative to the instant coffee which seems to fill every shelf in the UK. They may take their tea seriously but it wasn’t until a Bombay restaurant in London that I found good espresso again.

Edinburgh Castle is huge and impressive, seated atop an ancient volcanic plug. The rest of the city is below it, the skyline a jumble of elegant carvings, jagged spires, green copper domes, and a smattering of boring, official looking buildings. I spent nearly two hours in the war museum, learning about the history of Scotland’s fighting men and neighborly conflicts. There is a large church near the top of the ancient volcanic plug on which the castle sits. After World War One it was repurposed into a large, jagged war memorial. It served its somber purpose with methodical solemnity, lit by thin light filtering through military themed stained glass, painstaking statuary suspended from high vaulted ceilings, Heartfelt words from a nation to its heroes, and book after book after book of names.

A short wander from the castle is a small pub called the Bow Bar. It’s the only place I patronized three separate times on the trip. First serendipity; a sign outside for ‘meat pies; 3 pounds, noon-3” and a line of taps for local ales sounded nice and cheap, important after Iceland which is decidedly not. We got two meat pies: one haggis with chili, one chicken with gravy, both delicious. The second visit was for whiskey; the bartenders there are well known for their knowledge and good humor. An hour or so and a few wee drams later I learned to love Edinburgh gin and that a Skapa distillery tour was on the horizon. That last trip to the Bow Bar was for more haggis pie. Haggis is delicious and of all the haggis so far tasted, this was the best. It was the last day, a little gray, and one more visit seemed the perfect way to cap off the week and prepare for the very long journey to Orkney.

After Edinburgh was the small town of Kirkwall on Orkney, the largest in a series of small islands off the Northern end of Scotland and home of the highland Park Scotch Whiskey Distillery. It took a 7 hour ferry ride from Aberdeen (a further four hours by train from Edinburgh) to reach and thank God our host came to the Ferry terminal because there’s not a lot of public transit in the area. The ferry arrived late at night so it wasn’t until the morning that we got a good look at the town. The weather continued to inexplicably bless with blue skies and surprising warmth as we explored the small town, the local Kirk (church), and the ruin of an ancient bishop’s palace.

The food in a small town is always going to be a bit less than the food in a major city. A bacon sandwich is literally mayo and thick bacon between grocery store bread. No lettuce, not toasted, no ciabatta or anything, just soft bread and hard bacon. All the coffee is instant coffee; the best cup of coffee I got was in a bar that happened to have an espresso machine. I got a ‘mocha’ which was just a double espresso, steamed milk, and hot cocoa mix Served with an odd look by the gruff barman.

But of course, you don’t go to Kirkwall for the food. The Skapa whiskey distillery is also on Orkney and the tour was fabulous. The woman’s thick Orcadian accent and verbal tic was endearing and the information was new to me. The smells, oh man the aroma of malted barley, sweet sharp spirit, rich yeast, and mellowing barrels will stay with me for years to come (or at least as long as the bottles we bought last us). I wrote quite a few words on the whiskey tour but I’ll save that to craft into a mental picture worthy of the tour.

After a late night of drinking, two locals offered to spend their Saturday driving around the island showing off their local knowledge. Maes Howe, Skara Brae, the Standing Stones of Stennes, and the Ring of Brodgur all impressed us one by one by their age, size, ingenuity, and solemnity. These structures were Predecessors of the Pyramids and the Great Wall of China, among other things, and the off-season timing plus personal guided tour just made it that much more impressive.

I did have to giggle at the sheep. They’re everywhere, including grazing at the foot of a twenty foot tall rock stuck in the ground! The juxtaposition of a scruffy ram and an ancient work of passion and religion got me.

Maes Howe is an ancient grave that was broken into and graffitied by vikings on the war path. It’s about what you would expect: “Olga was here” “I had sex” “These runes were written by the greatest rune writer ever” and “Helga is beautiful” next to a picture of a rabid dog. It’s interesting to see that humans are pretty much the same across time and culture, haha, but more on that later.

The Stones of Stennes are tall standing stones, three, arranged in a semicircle around a hearth and two smaller stones. At midwinter, if you stand with your back to the tallest stone and look across the circle over the hearth, the sun shines from behind you, over the hearth, between the two smaller stones, and into the mouth of the entry to Maes Howe all the way down the 30 foot tunnel to the back of the tomb. The skill needed for that, taking into consideration the lack of modern technology, is absolutely stunning.

The Ring of Brodgur is a Henge like Stonehenge except instead of surrounded by a fence and only a few yards from a major motorway it’s truly in the middle of nowhere and you can walk up and touch the stones if you wish.

Skara Brae is by far the most famous Neolithic site on Orkney. It’s a small village made of stone that was buried by a sandstorm simply ages ago, then uncovered by another storm in the late 1800’s (I think). It’s in great shape with even tools, toys, and trinkets left intact and in their original place. It’s as if Pompei were sand instead of ash turned to rock. Again, we had it all to ourselves. Actually, it wasn’t even open but we walked down the beach and snuck in since no one was around. Totally worth it.

We ended the day at a fish and chip truck in Stromness, a viking town on the other side of the island, and had some of the most delicious, amazing fried fish and sausage patties I’ve ever had. Seriously, you wouldn’t believe it until you tasted it. That day, including staying out drinking too late the night before, being hungover until noon, and driving and walking by turns across the Scottish Islands was one of the most perfect days of the whole trip. Of the couple who drove us around, she was from Orkney but he was from another island so she knew all this lore and history and was able to share it with not only these strangers but her beloved. I remarked, as I had been reminded of showing people around my familiar places, that sometimes it helps you appreciate what you have to show it to those who don’t have it. She agreed and thanked us for helping create a pleasant and relaxed day outside, appreciating their home instead of slouched on the couch watching bad movies all day. Simply good.

After Orkney was London. We did the touristy things; I saw a play at Shakespear’s Globe, took selfies in front of Big Ben, ate Indian food, walked along the Queen’s walk, saw Buckingham Palace, went to a local farmer’s market, stopped in at the pub, and mostly just passed the time. There was too much time for it to be just a stopover, not enough time to really sink into anything so instead of trying to do everything and see everyone we just chilled. I did find a book I’ve been looking for for a very long time. You’ll notice if you’ve come to see me that the top shelf on my bookshelf has only one author on it. David Eddings wrote the books of my childhood and I’ve collected and lost the series once already. At a second hand store on Bainbridge several years ago, I found three of his books with the original eighties cover art and snapped them up. At a pop up used ‘book store’ under the Waterloo Bridge I found a fourth. For three pounds sterling I got a book I never thought I would have. I’m sure the rest of them are out there but to have fount it then and there was something I’ll never forget.

After London was Paris, or more accurately Palaissou, a small town 20 km south of Paris. As you may know, my partner traveled some years ago, long before we knew each other. One young woman he met in Tunisia made a particular impression on him, and he on her. They wrote letters and emails, then found Facebook and have kept in touch all this time. When she heard of our trip she immediately offered her hospitality. She met us at the train station (though we should have simply taken the local train, it would have been faster) and drove us to her home where we met her husband and two beautiful children.

Our hostess made us food, oh my God the food! Raclette is basically cheese melted on top of things. Potatoes, bread, more cheese, whatever, just eat it! Finish with a bottle of wine and some Tunisian digestive shared around over a word association card game and you have the perfect French evening. As a tribute to her heritage she made authentic Tunisian couscous and lots of it! She even threw a little cocktail party for us. There were only two guests but we six stood around out on the small back lawn to tell naughty jokes, make fun of the nosy neighbor, drink pomplamouse cidre (grapefruit flavored hard Apple cider), and eat the assortment of snack our hostess provided.

It was a chunk of toasted baguette with cultured butter and coffee for breakfast every day and lunch was more often than not assorte plat du fromage et une pichet rose (assorted plate of cheese and a half bottle of pink wine). In between we went to the cemetery, the Louvre, the café, the Eiffel Tower, and the Basilica of the Sacred Heart (Sacre-Coeur).

The Louve was amazing and I will probably also reserve my gushing about it for it’s own post. There was simply so much beauty and passion there it deserves designated time and place.

Leaving was hard but by the end of the trip it was time to come home. A short flight from Paris to Glasgow, an overnight rest, and finally a long pair of flights to and from Reykjavik (that was the layover option for Iceland Air). I’ve never been so happy to see a Link Light Rail car in my life. Even knowing there was another hour before home, I knew it was the last leg and that in itself was a huge relief.

My first glimpse of home was, not unsettling, not odd, just unfamiliar, as if it was yet another stop on a long journey. I suppose it was, but it didn’t quite feel like coming home until a few hours later, after a long hot bath and clean sheets did I finally feel: Home.

As I look back and retell stories one by one I begin to process them and look inward to find new thoughts and habits. My sleeping and eating habits have changed, for now at least, in a good way. I was concerned I had lost my drive but here I am, writing away, already deep into the day to day business, activism, and social interaction I missed so much. This trip has done me good and I think that the more time goes by, the better it will be for me. Experts say spending money on experiences is better than spending it on items. While there are still things I’d like to buy, I guarantee I got more out of this trip than I would have out of a new car, new gadget, or even new books.

Thank you. This trip has changed my life and without your assistance, without your encouragement, without your boundary keeping, emotionally fulfilling, financially meaningful, pleasurable company I would not have been able to do it. To you I dedicate this post and all the others that come from the sweet fermentation of my mind and this experience.

Holy Shit! I went to Europe! Finally! 😀

The Rights and Wrongs of Prostitution: An Essay by Julia O’connel Davidson, reproduced in full without permission

This essay was originally published in a collection titled Hypatia in 2002. I stumbled across it while checking Google search terms and read a satisfyingly balanced, well researched essay on some of the issues facing prostitution and some of the ethical theories surrounding sex work. As I read it, I found it beautifully devoid of polarizing language and, though my experience and information doesn’t always agree with her research, I happily defer to such a deeply researched and even handed analysis. I don’t agree with everything she writes but I do agree with treating the concerns regarding sex work with respect and care. This is a very long article so you’ll want some time if you want to read the entire thing.

I enjoyed it because I often find myself arguing against both sides on an issue. I like that the author doesn’t take a firm stand and instead outlines the arguments and issues with some of the primary sexual/moral arguments for and against sex work, prostitution in particular. The movement has moved toward a harm reduction/human rights argument and away from a completely unwind able moral argument but seeing this, originally published almost 15 years ago, was refreshingly multidimensional and spoke to my own sense of moral ambiguity and moderation.

I have not added any commentary within the body of the text, only edited out some hyphens and added some space for readability. Enjoy!

The Rights and Wrongs of Prostitution
JULIA O’CONNELL DAVIDSON

This essay critically explores contemporary Euro-American feminist debate on prostitution. It argues that to develop analyses relevant to the experience of more than just a small minority of “First World” women, those who are concerned with prostitution as a form of work need to look beyond liberal discourse on property and contractual consent for ways of conceptualizing the rights and wrongs of “sex work.”

**

Feminists are deeply divided on the issue of prostitution, and debate between what might loosely be termed the “sex work” and the “abolitionist” lobbies is often both heated and bitter. This can be disconcerting for those like me who find themselves in sympathy with elements of both “sides” of the debate and yet also feel it is the wrong debate to be having about prostitution. My own research on prostitution over the past eight years has involved ethnographic and interview work with prostitutes, third-party organizers of prostitution, and clients in both affluent and poor countries (O’Connell Davidson 1998). In all the countries where I have conducted research, female prostitutes are legally and socially constructed as a separate class of persons, and as such are subjected (to varying degrees) to a range of civil and human rights abuses. I am in complete sympathy with “sex work” feminists’ calls for prostitutes to be accorded the same legal and political rights and protections as their fellow citizens. I also agree that the vast majority of those who enter prostitution without being coerced into it by a third party do so for economic reasons, and that prostitution therefore represents a form of work. At the same time, however, none of the data from my research have made me want to celebrate the existence of a market for commoditized sex; rather, the reverse (see O’Connell Davidson 2001; O’Connell Davidson and Sánchez Taylor 1999). In this sense, I am in sympathy with the feminist abolitionist case.

This essay argues that what is wrong with much contemporary Euro-American feminist debate on prostitution is that it disallows the possibility of supporting the rights of those who work in prostitution as workers, but remains critical of the social and political inequalities that underpin market relations in general, and prostitution in particular.

Prostitution and Property in the Person

There is a longstanding tension within liberal political thought regarding the relationship between the body, property, and labor. John Locke is famous for this dictum: “Every man has a property in his own person. This nobody has any right to but himself. The labor of his body, and the work of his hands, we many say, are properly his” (1993, 274). This dictum allows for the commodification of a person’s bodily capacity to labor. Yet as Bridget Anderson notes, because he viewed the body as God-given and sacred, Locke also considered that “a man does not stand in the same relation to his body as he does to any other type of property. . . . So a man does not have the right to kill himself, or put himself into slavery, because he is the work of God” (2000, 3).

The liberal concept of property in the person thus leaves open certain questions about what can, and cannot, properly be commodified and contractually exchanged across a market. In this sense, it appears to have set the agenda for much contemporary Euro-American feminist debate on prostitution. For instance, do the body’s sexual capacities constitute property in the person or is it impossible to detach sex from personhood without moral harm? Does prostitution law violate the prostitute’s natural right to engage in voluntary transfers of her rightful property, or does the prostitution contract itself violate her natural right to dignity? (See, for example, Pateman 1988; Barry 1995; Jeffreys 1997; Chapkis 1997.)

Marxist thinkers view liberal discourse on property, labor, contractual consent, and freedom as a series of fictions that serve to conceal or naturalize huge asymmetries of economic, social, and political power. Their arguments suggest that a person’s labor (whether sexual, emotional, mental, or manual) is, in Braverman’s words, “like all life processes and bodily functions . . . an inalienable property of the human individual.” Because it cannot be separated from the person of the laborer, it is not labor that is exchanged, sold or surrendered across a market. What workers sell, and what employers buy “is not an agreed amount of labor, but the power to labor over an agreed period of time” (1974, 54). Since property in the person cannot be separated from the person, the wage labor contract actually involves a transfer of powers of command over the person. In exchange for x amount of money, the employer gets the right to direct the worker to perform particular tasks, or to think about particular problems, or provide particular forms of service to customers.

Likewise, sex or sexual labor is not exchanged in the prostitution contract. Rather, the client parts with money and/or other material benefits in order to secure powers over the prostitute’s person that he (or more rarely she) could not otherwise exercise. He pays in order that he may direct the prostitute to make body orifices available to him, to smile, dance, or dress up for him, to whip, spank, urinate upon, massage, or masturbate him, to submit to being urinated upon, shackled, or beaten by him, or otherwise act to meet his desires (O’Connell Davidson 1998). It is not that the prostitution contract allows the client to buy the person of the prostitute while the employment contract merely allows the employer to buy the worker’s fully alienable labor power. Both contracts transfer powers of command from seller to buyer (the extent of those powers and the terms of the transfer being the subject of the contract), and so require the seller to temporarily surrender or suspend aspects of her will.

Liberal theorists generally regard the invasion of an individual’s will to be a heinous violation of fundamental human rights, and take a dim view of pre- capitalist and “traditional” social formations within which dominant groups exercised personalistic power to force their subordinates to do their bidding. But because market relations are imagined to involve the exercise of power over commodities rather than persons, and because employers do not usually use personalistic power to force workers to surrender their “property,” the wage labor contract can be presented as an equivalent, mutual, and voluntary exchange. Money, the universal medium for the expression of the exchange values of commodities, is exchanged for the “commodity” of labor power. In capitalist liberal democracies, formal rights of equal participation in the process of commodity exchange are interpreted as a form of freedom for capitalist and worker alike, even though it is through this very process of exchange that the political and economic dominance of the capitalist class is maintained and reproduced. The beauty of the concept of property in the person, then, is that it conceals the relations of power and dependence that exist between those who pay others to do their will, and those who get paid to surrender their own will and do someone else’s bidding.

For anyone who is remotely swayed by this critique, questions about whether or not sex can be commercialized in the same way as labor are the wrong questions to ask about rights. To paraphrase Anatole France, granting rich and poor, men and women, white and black, “First World” and “Third World,” an equal right to engage in prostitution under the bridges of Paris is hardly to strike a blow for human equality or freedom. And yet feminists who discuss prostitutes’ rights to freely alienate their sexual labor certainly wish to promote greater equality and freedom. Indeed, they arrive at their position out of a concern to challenge the very serious civil and human rights violations that have historically been and still are routinely faced by women prostitutes all over the world (documented in, for example, Walkowitz 1980; Alexander 1997; Cabezas 1999; Uddin et al. 2001).

“Sex work” feminists note that these violations are linked to the legal and social construction of women prostitutes as sexual deviants, rather than as workers, and to counter this, they emphasize the continuities between prostitution and other forms of wage labor. From here, it would seem a straightforward matter to move to a critical analysis of the class, gender, race, and global power relations that underpin the contemporary sex industry. But instead, “sex work” feminists often take a rather different turn, and one that is rarely made by those concerned with the rights of workers in other sectors. Having discussed ways in which the market for commodified sex is shaped by global and/or gender inequalities, some analysts move to talk about the selling of sexual labor as though it can represent a form of resistance to those inequalities (see, for example, Bell 1994; Kempadoo and Doezema 1998; Nagel 1997). This is not a leap that directly follows from the proposition that prostitution is a form of labor. Few would, for example, describe the sweatshop worker as “challenging” poverty by stitching garments, the airline flight attendant as “defying” sexism by smilingly serving drinks, or the black child selling shoeshine service in the Caribbean as “resisting” racism by polishing the shoes of white tourists. What makes prostitution different? The answer, I think, has to do with the vexed relationship between sex and selfhood.

Sex and Selfhood Revisited

“What is wrong with prostitution?” Carole Pateman asks, and answers that for the client to buy mastery of an objectified female body, the prostitute must sell herself in a very different and much more real sense than that which is required by any other occupation (1988, 207). This damages the prostitute. To contract out sexual use of the body requires the woman to sever the integrity of body and self, something that carries grave psychological consequences (see, for example, Jeffreys 1997 and Barry 1995). Critiquing such analyses, many “sex work” feminists point to similarities between prostitution and other personal service occupations, arguing that prostitution is better understood as involving a form of emotional labor. Such labor is not always or necessarily harmful to the worker. Wendy Chapkis (1997), for example, notes that while the flight attendants in Arlie Hochschild’s 1983 classic study of emotional labor often believed that performing emotion work had changed them in some way, they “most often described that transformation as a positive one, of gaining greater control.” In the same way, Chapkis argues, sex workers can experience “the ability to summon and contain emotion within the commercial transaction . . . as a useful tool in boundary maintenance rather than as a loss of self” (1997, 75). If sex and emotion are “stripped of their presumed unique relationship to nature and the self, it no longer automatically follows that their alienation or commodification is simply and necessarily destructive” (Chapkis 1997, 76).

Chapkis then moves on to observe that in some settings, emotion work is “socially rewarded and personally gratifying,” and yet, “the respect given to emotional labor in the theatre, a psychotherapist’s office, or a day care center rarely extends to the brothel” (1997, 79). Picking up on Hochschild’s argument that a lack of control over the terms and conditions of employment intensifies the human costs of performing emotional labor, Chapkis concludes that it is not the commodification of emotion per se that is problematic in sex work; rather: “mundane concerns like status differences between worker and client, employee/employer relations and negative cultural attitudes toward the work performed, may be at the root of the distress and damage experienced by some workers. This is less grand, less poetic, than the image of a soul in necessary and mortal danger through the commodification of its most intimate aspects. Such a formulation, however, has the advantage of pointing critics in the direction of practical interventions such as workplace organizing and broader political campaigns to increase the status and respect accorded to those performing the labor” (1997, 82).

It strikes me that this formulation also has advantages for anyone who wants to pay for sexual experience but still retain their feminist credentials (it pro- vides a blueprint for how to be a “good” and “responsible” client, prostitution’s equivalent of a “green consumer”), and that this is surely significant for Chapkis, who opens the final chapter of her book by saying, “After years of research- ing the subject of sex for money, I decided to finally have some” (1997, 215).1 Chapkis’s identification with the wish to consume commercial sex helps to explain why, unlike Hochschild, she pays little attention to “the human cost of becoming an ‘instrument of labor’” (Hochschild 1983, 3), or to questions about the exploitative and alienating nature of the capitalist labor process, and does not really develop a critique of commercialism in relation to prostitution. Nor does Chapkis’s analysis of prostitution refer to broader debates on class or labor movements, despite the mention of employment relations and workplace organizing in the passage quoted above.

So whilst Chapkis’s Live Sex Acts provides a detailed and well-crafted case for women prostitutes’ full civil and political inclusion, it does not question orthodox liberal narratives about property in the person, market relations, and human rights. Meanwhile, the emphasis on increasing “the status and respect” accorded to sex workers, alongside the inclusion of a chapter “sharing” the details of her own “commercial sexual experience,” suggests that Chapkis believes that the sexual-emotional labor involved in prostitution, like the emotion work involved in psychotherapy, acting, or the provision of day care, has some intrinsic social value. The implication is that sex work should be respected and socially honored because it expresses (or at least can, under the right circumstances express) a form of care or creativity.

This view is more explicitly elaborated in the work of “sex radical” feminists. Sex radical theory holds that the legal and social binaries of normal/abnormal, healthy/unhealthy, pleasurable/dangerous sex, as well as of gender itself, are profoundly oppressive. Thus, sex radicals celebrate consensual sexual practices that can be read as subverting such binaries (Vance 1984, Rubin 1999, Califia 1994). Through this lens, both the buying and selling of commercial sex appear as legitimate features of “erotic diversity.” Pat Califia, for example, holds that prostitution serves valuable social functions and would not disappear even in a society that had achieved full gender, race, and class equality: “There will always be people who don’t have the charm or social skill to woo a partner. In a society where mutual attraction and sexual reciprocity are the normal bases for bonding, what would happen to the unattractive people, those without the ability or interest to give as good as they get? Disabled people, folks with chronic or terminal illnesses, the elderly, and the sexually dysfunctional would continue to benefit (as they do now) from the ministrations of skilled sex workers who do not discriminate against these populations” (1994, 245).

Fetishists would also continue to provide demand for commercial sex, Califia goes on, since “many fetishist scripts are simply elaborate forms of sublimated and displaced masturbation that do not offer anything other than vicarious pleasure to the fetishist’s partner” (1994, 245). Prostitution obviates the need for anyone to, in Califia’s words, “play the martyr” in a relationship by selflessly indulging a partner’s fetish. And in her utopia, sex workers “would be teachers, healers, adventurous souls—tolerant and compassionate. Prostitutes are all of these things today, but they perform their acts of kindness and virtue in a milieu of ingratitude” (1994, 247).

In Chapkis’s and Califia’s writings, then, arguments about prostitution as a form of labor get conflated with claims about the social value of sex work and the client’s rights to access the services of prostitutes (see also Perkins and Ben- nett 1985; Queen 1997). Prostitutes should be socially honored because they facilitate the gratification of erotic needs that would otherwise go unmet, just as health care professionals and teachers should be honored because they meet the population’s health and educational needs. And because it meets human needs, prostitution, like medicine and education, would persist in a society that had achieved full gender, race, and class equality.

This takes us a long way from the idea of prostitution as mere service work, for if the comparison were made with, say, jobs in the hotel industry or domestic work, the same arguments would be rather less convincing. (There will always be people who are too busy or important, or who simply cannot be bothered, to open the door for themselves, make their own beds, wash their own clothes, clean the lavatory after they have used it, and come the revolution, these people would continue to benefit, as they do now, from the ministrations of skilled and professional doorpersons, chamber maids, and domestic workers.) Indeed, the fact that these writers compare sex work to healing or psychotherapy and think in terms of some kind of transcendental human need for prostitution suggests that they are quite as reluctant as “radical” feminists to strip sex of its “unique relationship to the self,” albeit for very different reasons. Where “radical feminists” think prostitution is fundamentally wrong because it commodifies something that cannot be detached from the self, the “sex work” feminists considered here think it is fundamentally right because it provides clients with access to something they require to fulfill their human needs and express their true selves. This latter belief is certainly shared by the clients I have interviewed, who invariably explain their own prostitute use through reference to the idea of sexual “need” (O’Connell Davidson 1998). But what does it mean to speak of erotic “needs?”

From Erotic “Needs” to Despotic Subjects

Deprived of sexual gratification, people do not suffer in the same way they do when other basic bodily needs are denied or when medical attention is refused.2 There is no biological imperative to orgasm any set number of times a day, week, or year, and though people may find it unpleasant or even uncomfortable to go without sexual release (assuming they are unable or find it undesirable to masturbate), the absence of a sexual partner to bring them to orgasm does not actually threaten their physical survival. Human sexual desire is grounded in emotional and cognitive, as much as physiological, processes. If the urge to reach orgasm were a simple biological function, such as the impulse to evacuate the bowels, it would hardly matter whether the person with whom you had sex was old or young, or man or woman. Equally, if a lack of sexual contact posed a threat to health, such that one needed the “ministrations” of a sex worker in the same way one needs those of a doctor or a nurse when suffering from other ailments, then the physical appearance, age, gender, and race of the prostitute would be unimportant. But sex is not a mere bodily function or physical need. Our erotic life is grounded in the ideas we use to categorize, interpret, and give meaning to human experience and sociality, and specific sexual desires do not, therefore, directly express some fundamental, timeless, or general human need for sex. To treat them as if they do is hugely problematic.

What follows from the assertion that every individual is entitled to satisfy their exact erotic “requirements?” Califia asks us to accept that wanting “to be kicked with white patent-leather pumps with thirteen straps and eight-inch heels” (1994, 245), is an erotic need. But what if someone felt s/he could only be sexually gratified if it was Princess Anne or Queen Latifa wearing the patent- leather pumps? Would that also be a “need?” And what of, say, a white racist’s specific and narrowly focused desire to anally penetrate black women, or an adult male’s “need” to be fellated by eleven-year-old children? Since non-masturbatory sex by definition involves another person or persons, to grant one the right to control the if, when, with whom, and how of having sex would very often be to deny those same rights to another.
Gayle Rubin has argued: “In Western culture, sex is taken all too seriously. A person is not considered immoral, is not sent to prison, and is not expelled from her or his family for enjoying spicy cuisine. But an individual may go through all this and more for enjoying shoe leather. Ultimately, of what possible social significance is it if a person likes to masturbate over a shoe? . . . If sex is taken too seriously, sexual persecution is not taken seriously enough. There is systematic mistreatment of individuals and communities on the basis of erotic taste or behavior” (1999, 171). But it seems to me that sex radicals also take certain aspects of sexual life far too seriously. Certainly it is ridiculous that a person’s shoe fetish can provoke community revulsion and expulsion. But it is equally ridiculous to elevate that person’s ability to indulge this fetish to the status of human right. If we are to say “so what?” about the fact someone likes to masturbate over a shoe, surely we can equally say “so what?” about the fact that s/he might have to make do with fantasizing about a shoe while masturbating, rather than thinking it imperative to set in place a social institution that will guarantee her/him access to a shoe whenever the urge to masturbate over one should arise.

At the same time, sex radical theory does not pay sufficient attention to the fact that “talk about sex is about a great deal else than organs, bodies and pleasures” (Laqueur 1995, 155). In using the example of a masturbatory fetish, Rubin evades the difficult issues that arise from the fact that non-masturbatory sex is, by definition, relational. To be sure, it is an intolerant and illiberal society that condemns a person for masturbating over a shoe. But since Rubin stresses that sex must be consensual, her own tolerance probably would not extend to an unknown man who happened to feel the “need” to masturbate over her shoe as they sat together in Starbucks, for example. Like Califia, she reserves for everyone both the right to gratify themselves as they wish, and the right not to “play the martyr” by indulging other people when it will bring them no personal gratification. Everyone, that is, except prostitutes, who are instead awarded the right to give up their right to personal pleasure from sex in exchange for payment.

The essence of the prostitution contract is that the prostitute agrees, in exchange for money or another benefit, not to use her personal desire or erotic interests as the determining criteria for her sexual interaction.3 What this means is that the prostitute must, at least during working hours, assume her or himself as the Other, fix her or himself as an object, in order that everyone else may always be able satisfy their erotic “needs” on demand. In other words, the existence of a market for commodified sex leaves room for every non-prostitute to become, in Simone de Beauvoir’s (1953) terms, a “despotic subject” should she or he so choose.

For feminist abolitionists, this subject/object distinction in prostitution necessarily corresponds to a patriarchal order within which men achieve self- sovereignty through the political subordination of women. This is to essentialize gender, and also implies an over-optimistic view of women, who are perfectly capable of pursuing “masculine” self-sovereignty through the objectification of racialized and/or classed Others, as demonstrated by the research of Jacqueline Sánchez Taylor (2001) on female sex tourism and that of Bridget Anderson (2000) on employers of migrant domestic workers. Feminist abolitionists fur- ther imagine that in requiring a woman to temporarily fix herself as an object, prostitution permanently, completely and literally extinguishes her as a subject. This glosses over the important (and sometimes hugely painful) fact that people do not either literally become, or come to see themselves as, objects even when they are treated as such. It also ignores the immense political dangers that go along with refusing any group of people full subjectivity, even when one’s aim is to help or “save” that group. But the sex radical position on prostitution, which embraces despotic subjecthood as a delightful and ideal condition, is surely every bit as politically dangerous.
The Politics of Rights and Respect
Noting that the early feminist movement called for the labor involved in mothering and caring for the old, the sick, or the disabled to be recognized as work, Mary McIntosh argues that the term “sex worker” both means that prostitutes “are women who are paid for what they do” and that “as with other women, what they do should be respected as a skilled and effortful activity and not considered simply as a natural capacity of every woman” (1994, 13). But feminist calls for the labor involved in social reproduction to be recognized and rewarded have generally been advanced on the basis that this labor has intrinsic social worth, not simply because it is skilled and effortful. Indeed, this is partly why domestic and caring labor remains a difficult issue for feminists, for as Anderson’s work shows, socially reproductive labor does not simply fulfill physical needs but “is bound up with the reproduction of life-style and, crucially, of status” (2000, 14). So, for example, the tasks performed by paid domestic workers often serve to demonstrate or raise their employer’s status rather than having an inherent social value. There are even employers who demand that their domestic worker wash the anus of the family pet after it has defecated (Anderson 2000, 26), something which requires skill and effort, but is hardly necessary either to any individual or to our collective survival.

Given the enormity of the stigma that attaches to female prostitution and its consequences for women’s lives, it is easy to understand sex workers’ rights activists’ impulse to try to reconstruct prostitution as an intrinsically honorable profession that serves socially valuable ends. But without insisting that human beings have sexual “needs,” rather than socially constructed desires, this position is difficult to sustain. It is fairly easy to make the case that we should attach social honor to the task of changing a baby’s diaper, but hard to see how one would argue that social honor should be attached to the task of cleaning the anus of a perfectly healthy dog, or to the tasks performed by prostitutes in order to satisfy their clients’ sexual whims.

To attempt to destigmatize prostitution by insisting on its social value also carries risks as a political strategy. There is a danger of simply creating new hierarchies and fresh divisions. If prostitutes are to be respected because they undertake socially valuable work, surely those who specialize in working with severely disabled clients will be deemed somehow more respectable than those who give blow jobs to able-bodied men out on their stag night, for example? This division already exists in the Netherlands where “sex surrogates” who work with disabled people are legally and socially constructed as different from prostitutes who work with able-bodied clients. And does this argument not construct the prostitute who meets a client’s erotic needs as somehow more worthy of respect than the domestic worker who acquiesces to an employer’s demands?

In an unequal world, opportunities to devote one’s life to socially honored goals are classed, gendered and raced. The fact that an individual engages in a form of labor not considered socially valuable thus says nothing about her personal integrity or honor, and vice versa. Becoming a heart surgeon is not proof of the nobility of spirit of a white middle-class man, and becoming a university professor does not demonstrate the personal integrity of a white middle-class woman. A person’s human, civil, and labor rights, and their right to respect and social value as a human being, cannot be contingent upon whether or not they perform labor that is socially valued. The university teacher, the heart surgeon, the prostitute, and the domestic worker are all equally entitled to rights and protection as economic actors. Those who work in prostitution have rights and deserve respect not because or despite the fact they work as prostitutes, but because they are human beings. Likewise, our claim to legal recognition, rights, dignity, and respect lies in the fact that we are human beings, not that we are able-bodied or disabled, black or white, straight or gay, shoe fetishist or vanilla sex fetishist.

Behind and Beyond the Market

It is tempting to conclude that what is wrong with contemporary Euro-American feminist debate on prostitution is simply, as Delia Aguilar suggests, its lack of reference to “the basic concepts of class and social relations of production” (2000, 2). Certainly, the questions about prostitution that preoccupy many Euro-American feminists can seem irrelevant to a world in which vast numbers of people live in poverty, and the gulf between rich and poor continues to widen. Consider, for example, the fact that in India, a country with a per capita GDP of U.S.$383, some 2.3 million females are estimated to be in prostitution, a quarter of whom are minors; or that Burma, a country with a per capita GDP of just U.S.$69, exports an estimated 20,000 to 30,000 women and girls to work in prostitution in Thailand, while several thousand more cross the border into China to sell sex (Lim 1998, AMC 2000). Though some of these women and children have been forced into prostitution by a third party, it is dull economic compulsion that drives many of them into sex work, just as in America (a country with a per capita GDP of U.S.$21,558), many women and girls “elect” to prostitute themselves rather than join the 35 percent of the female workforce earning poverty-level wages (Castells 1998). To describe such individuals as exercising rights of self-sovereignty seems as spurious as stating that their prostitution represents a violation of their right to dignity. There is no dignity in poverty, which denies the person full powers of agency. Yet the right to sell one’s labor (sexual or otherwise) does not guarantee the restitution of dignity or moral agency.

But can simple appeal to basic concepts of class and social relations of production move forward the feminist debates on prostitution? Marxian analysts have rarely engaged with questions about the myriad historical and contemporary forms of sexual and gender oppression. Indeed, class theorists have often failed to critique liberal fictions about “public” and “private” as two distinct and clearly separated realms of human experience, instead focusing almost exclusively upon the injustices affecting (straight, white, male, skilled) workers in the supposedly “public” sphere of productive labor. Though they have very effectively critiqued liberal discourse on property, labor, and contractual consent as fictions concealing class power, Marxists have traditionally paid little attention to the ways in which liberal discourse shrouds and naturalizes power relations that are gendered, sexualized, and raced.
The concepts of class and social relations of production, as found in the conceptual toolbox of orthodox class theorists, may thus prove to be unwieldy instruments with which to explore the specificity of prostitution as a form of exploitation. To conceptualize prostitution without reference to questions about the relationship between sexuality, gender, selfhood, and community would be as unsatisfactory as to conceptualize prostitution without reference to class. We need to return to the fact that sex occupies a special and privileged place in both abolitionist and “sex work” feminist accounts of the rights and wrongs of prostitution. In this, both “sides” of the prostitution debate recognize and take seriously aspects of human existence and forms of oppression that are typically overlooked or trivialized in Marxian theory. What happens if we take such concerns seriously but simultaneously remain critical of liberal discourse?

Thomas Laqueur (1995) has observed that for centuries, masturbation and prostitution have been condemned with almost equal vigor in Judeo-Christian thought. Both have been constructed as fundamentally asocial, degenerative sexual practices, the antithesis of the “socially constructive act of heterosexual intercourse” (1995, 157). Both therefore represent a threat to the heterosexual family unit: “While masturbation threatened to take sexual desire and pleasure inward, away from the family, prostitution took it outward. . . . The problem with masturbation and prostitution is essentially quantitative: doing it alone and doing it with lots of people rather than doing it in pairs” (Laqueur 1995, 159–60; see also Agustin 2000).

The fact that in Euro-American societies, people who do not choose to embrace reproductive heterosexual coupledom have historically been, and still often are, viewed with such loathing, fear, and repugnance tells us something about how little we have actually managed to realize ourselves as the “abstract individuals” or “sovereign selves” of liberalism. Marx may have been correct (at least insofar as white middle-class male experience was concerned) to say that capitalism “is the realized principle of individualism; the individual existence is the final goal; activity, work, content, etc., are mere means” (in Sayer 1991, 58), but the idea of the solitary individual, as a subject, was and is conceivable primarily in relation to economic life. As sexual and engendered beings, we remain largely tied to our social context, our identities given by our position within a sexual community and gender hierarchy.

Marx observed that in the act of commodity exchange, “the individual, each of them, is reflected in himself as the exclusive and dominant (determining) subject of the exchange. With that the complete freedom of the individual is posited” (in Sayer 1991, 59). Sex radicals apply this bourgeois fiction to prostitution, imagining that by exchanging money for commodified sex, the individual is liberated from her or his fixed relationship to the sexual community, recognized as a sexual subject and set completely free. But any such “freedom” is contingent upon the existence of a particular, and highly unequal, set of political, economic, and social relations, since in general, people “choose” neither wage labor nor prostitution unless denied access to alternative means of subsistence. It is merely the “freedom” to picture the self in radical abstraction from social relations of power and to become a “despotic subject.” We need an alternative vision of the self. As Laura Brace observes, we need to “move beyond the liberal conception of the abstracted individual, without drowning the sovereign subject in the ocean of nondifferentiation” (1997, 137).

Masturbation may offer a useful starting point for any re-visioning of the sovereign sexual subject. Prostitute use can largely be understood as a response to the social devaluation of masturbation and sexual fantasy, the construction of masturbation as a form of sexual expression and experience which simply “does not count.” But as Paula Bennett and Vernon Rosario argue, “Beyond the constraints of orthodox reproductive practices, solitary pleasure is a fundamentally generative form of sexual behavior, deeply implicated in the creative process and therefore basic to much that is good and enriching in human life” (1995, 15). To recognize masturbation as such would carry enormous equalizing potential. We would not be debating whether disabled people need “sex surrogates,” but rather emphasizing the need to develop and make available technologies which would allow the disabled to enjoy the same access to solitary pleasure that is currently enjoyed by the able bodied. It would no longer be assumed that within a couple, it was each partner’s absolute responsibility to fulfill the other’s sexual “needs” or that love and emotional intimacy implied a sexual claim over our partner’s person. No one would “need” to sublimate and displace masturbation by paying a prostitute to temporarily surrender aspects of her will.

I am not proposing that we attempt to sidestep the relational nature of sexuality by simply replacing sexual interaction with masturbation, nor am I arguing that fantasies and fetishes should never be enacted. I would not even claim that masturbation and fantasy are necessarily as pleasurable or satisfying as sex with other people and/or the enactment of fantasies. But if masturbation was socially valued in the same way that heterosexual coupling now is, we would all be in a position to recognize and realize ourselves as sexual subjects, without turning anyone else into an object. And on those occasions that we happened to be lucky enough to find mutual and reciprocal desire with another or others, whether partner, friend, or stranger, it might then be possible to appreciate, value and choose non-masturbatory sex for its relational qualities and connective potential.

As well as being right to call for prostitutes to be accorded the same legal and political rights and protections as their fellow citizens, it seems to me that “sex work” feminists are right to (implicitly) argue that we should refuse traditional demands to subordinate our sexual selves to socially “productive” goals through heterosexual coupling. But if they wish to represent or advance the interests of more than just a privileged minority of “First World” women, they need to look beyond the market for an alternative to the yoke of tradition, and beyond liberal discourse on property, contractual consent, and freedom for ways of conceptualizing the rights and wrongs of prostitution as a form of work.

Notes:
I am grateful to Bridget Anderson, Jacqueline Sánchez Taylor, Laura Agustin, the individuals who refereed this paper, and above all to Laura Brace, for extremely helpful comments on the ideas in this paper.
1. The chapter provides an account of how Chapkis and twenty other women paid a “sacred prostitute” and her “consort” to provide a milieu within which they could have group sex with each other. Nobody had any form of sexual contact with the women who organized and charged for the event. It seems unlikely that many prostitutes‘ clients would part with money for this, and Chapkis does not explicitly stake out her position on the rights or wrongs of more conventional forms of prostitute use. However, it seems reasonable to conclude that she does not find anything problematic in the demand for commercial sex per se.
2. It is true that people can be profoundly harmed when they are socially, politi- cally and legally excluded or marginalized on grounds of their supposed sexual “Other- ness,” but the psychological and emotional distress they may suffer is linked to something rather more complex than the inability to instantly gratify a wish for a particular kind of sex at a particular moment in time.
3. Skilled and professional prostitutes who work independently and who are not economically desperate certainly impose limits on the contact (refusing clients who are drunk or threatening, turning down requests for unprotected sex, or for sexual acts that they find particularly intrusive or unpleasant, for example). But few prostitutes would be able to make a living if they only ever agreed to sex with clients they found attractive or to perform acts they personally found sexually or psychologically gratifying.
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On The Road Again

This is it. If you’re reading this then I’m in the air (or on the ground at the other end) for my very first European Vacation. I’ll be gone until the end of the month and I won’t be checked in much while I’m gone. I’m leaving electronics (mostly) at home and taking only a backpack full of clothes and a journal with me.

The itinerary includes a once in a lifetime concert, hiking, castles, yachts, ancient ruins, busting cities, and ample time to simply sit down and relax, chat with locals, and get a real feel for the places we’re staying.

I didn’t mean to at first but I’ve been updating on Thursdays and I didn’t want to stop that schedule so I’ve set it up to auto post some things I found interesting but aren’t time sensitive while I’m gone. One old post I found looking through stuff, one article I found while checking Google search terms (that one is very long, 15 pages, but well worth reading.), one mental picture, and one book review.

I hope to see you when I get back. Rose will be monitoring my inbox for me so if you want or need to plan ahead feel free to enlist her aid. I would be just tickled pink if my calendar was full of new meetings with old friends after this adventure. Fair warning: my usual talkativeness will probably be ratcheted up quite a bit what with all the new adventures I’ll have.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy your Labor Day and new school year and I look forward to hanging out when I get back!

XOXO

P.s.
If you’d like recommendations for alternates while I’m gone, you can either check out my ‘me and my friends’ page or send me a quick email. My auto responder has a list of ladies I like that should be around and able to get together.

Why Do YOU Do It?

I wrote last week about Miss Keller and her attempt to force her young female students into more masculine activities. I talked about categories of people, be it gender related, personality related, or racially biased. I’ve been thinking about categories for a while now as it relates t my clients. I may have written about this before but I want to really dig into this idea of the three reasons people seek out sex workers.

This will be one of the themes to the book I’m working on. The other is me since I’m the only connecting thread between all my clients, but that’s a much larger idea and a longer story to tell. Later. The theme for the book is that the categories are helpful, elastic, and none greater or more acceptable than the others.

First reason is for fun. Sex is fun, it feels good before, during, and after. We anticipate and feel the effects of our anticipation throughout our body and during the day leading up to it. I know one beloved who spend several days b enforce hand getting a pedicure and a manicure, doing a full body scrub, trimming and shaving everything smooth and soft, and stopping off for a bottle of wine and some nibbles. It’s part of the ritual and part of what makes the fun last longer. Another spends our entire hour together edging, drawing out the pleasure until the last possible moment, both of us working towards the constant upward climb with the focus on the pleasure of now and the joy of a powerful orgasm. Yet another beloved looks toward the evening, using several appointments during the day as part of his foreplay with his kinky girlfriend. His focus is on the build for later. He holds off on his orgasm all day, stimulated but waiting, holding onto the feeling of delayed pleasure until it’s almost painful and he can share the intensity with the woman he loves. In all cases, they’re focused on how fun and pleasurable it is to feel sexual, to let the pleasure of erotic touch from a respected provider be what it is and to feel, not guilt or shame, but exultation and powerful, sexual, fun.

(Special mention goes to my 92 year old beloved who is determined to see as wide a variety of high quality sexual service providers before he goes. World War Two vet, avid sportsman, clever, charming, and adventuresome, if I can behalf as vital at half his age I’ll count myself a success. For him, I think, this is pure good fun!)

The second reason and most common for regulars is sustenance. The stereotype is the sexless marriage; children, time, life, health all change and sometimes the change removes sex from the relationship. For whatever reason, neither partner can leave and so they seek outside companionship. Affairs can be messy and compromise the integrity of what relationship there is so many men (and some women) in these situations seek professionals to meet their desire for calm, nonjudgemental, safe, sexual human contact. There may be fun, as well, if there wasn’t I imagine they’d find another provider, but the primary purpose for seeking sexual services isn’t the sex, it’s the intimacy and emotional support that helps sustain them during their daily lives. I’ve seen single men who are frustrated with the dating scene, businessmen who don’t have time for traditional relationships, married men with ailing or non sexual wives, some who’ve told their partners, most who haven’t. When their life circumstances change, they may move on to more traditional relationships or simply to a provider who offers something different, or they may stay inside the comfort of a long standing, uncomplicated provider-client relationship even through life adjustments. Whatever happens, they are the most pleasant, consistent darlings and they are the ones who most often break my heart and heal it again.

And then there are the healing and the learning. The healers are those who recently experienced a major life change, most often divorce or loss of a spouse but any personal loss can effect someone’s desire for sexual contact. I see an arc in the healers, beginning with their ability to share their trauma and experience loving sexual touch, sometimes for the first time in years. As they get more accustomed to it and our relationship builds, I watch them grow in confidence and they begin to expand in their personal lives, be it reentering the dating world, beginning creative projects, finding joy in daily life, and generally reenergizing. The learners are often shy, seeking knowledge about themselves and their sexual partners. Young shy people, suddenly expected to perform in an extroverts world, baby kinksters who want to explore new things and need a safe place to play, some have an idea that there’s more to making love than what the’ve seen so far and want to explore, most have no idea at all.

Clients slide between these three general reasons for seeking sexual services, often coming for more than one reason though sometimes it takes a while for us to figure out which ones. Healers become fun seekers, sustainers become healers, fun seekers become sustainers, and all the reasons jumble together in a beautifully dynamic journey. Some people draw lines between acceptable reasons to seek sexual services and unacceptable reasons, claiming that the healers need services but the sustainers are wasting their money and the fun seekers are exploitative. Within the political movement to decriminalize the exchange of sexual services for a fee, we see the danger in those lines. While the stories of the healers might be legitimate, popular, emotionally compelling arguments for decriminalization, we cannot let their needs delegitimization the motivations of other clients.

Providers also have these primary reasons for providing sexual services. Some do it for fun: because they enjoy the sexual activities they share with their clients, because they enjoy expanding their sexual repertoires, because they enjoy a lifestyle above what they might have otherwise, or simply because they enjoy meeting interesting people. Most do it for sustenance: to provide for themselves and their families, sometimes to sustain poor habits, and some because the emotionally rewarding experiences help them maintain high self worth. And some do it for healing: to solve a financial problem, to learn about themselves, to take control of their lives and find a new adventure. Again, providers slide from motivation to motivation: I started for fun, because it sounded pleasurable and adventurous and I was attracted to the idea of fast easy money. I stayed for sustenance, to keep a pleasant roof over my head, good food on my table, and to find time for self improvement. I now enjoy the benefits and privileges of all three reasons: I learn and grow from my interactions with the healers, I exchange pleasure with the fun seekers, I sustain my long time regulars, and all our relationships enrich my life. While I am fortunate enough to enjoy all these, not all providers can or do but again, telling some sex work stories as if they are better or more right than others is to lose out on the variety and depth of human experience and choice.

There would be no healing without fun, no sustenance without constant healing, no fun without a sustainable relationship. To attempt to parse out and draw lines between what is a good reason to consent to sexual activity and what is a bad reason to consent to sexual activity is to destroy the autonomy that all consent relies on.

Sugar What Now?

I read an article today that made me want to meet the author. (Link: http://www.vice.com/read/my-life-as-an-ivy-league-sugarcunt-235)

In case you don’t have time to read the article, the long and short of it is her sharing her experience in paid dating. She graduated from Princeton and decided to enter sex work instead of searching for a corporate job. She looked to it as a way to escape the uncertainty and monotony of finding and keeping a regular 9-5 job as well as her way of expressing her sexual liberation. I want to meet her, not because she’s inspiring or a great writer, but because I want to fix her.

I’m a problem solver and the way she writes about herself, her clients, and her experience shows me a problem, easily solved in theory but not maybe in practice. The core of the problem is her internal whorearchy; the idea that some sex workers are better than others. Based on this article, I think the author would make a perfectly reasonable provider. She’s attractive, willing to meet the job requirements, a little lazy but with great potential should she decide to formalize her sex work and take control of her interactions.

I mean, she isn’t even able to operate under the standard terms for paid dating (sugar daddy and sugar baby) because the terms don’t feel empowering enough. Instead of looking into other options with perhaps a better fitting dynamic, she simply changes the terms in her own mind to sugar dick and sugar cunt. I admit, I really don’t like the terms baby and daddy either, they make me uncomfortable both with the implied power dynamic and the age play connotations. But cunt and dick are even worse because they establish a combative relationship before client and provider even meet and they certainly don’t change the fact that with only one benefactor at a time, they have the power.

That’s only the beginning of her issues with paid dating. She and I share a common experience: paying dates unwilling to pay. She felt comfortable initiating the compensation conversation up front, I didn’t. She got paid, I didn’t. Unfortunately, her paying dates didn’t stay paying dates for long and she had to terminate the relationships (good boundaries, bad business model). Often, men who offer cash for relationships instead of seeing escorts have higher demands and offer lower compensation than their dates are willing to exchange. Mismatched emotions cause friction and, most of all, the shame benefactors feel at ‘having to pay for it’ generates intense cognitive dissonance. When her clients began to feel that dissonance, she simply left them. Unfortunately that is a common occurrence in paid dating, or so I’ve gathered. The problem for the date is that this creates financial uncertainty and demands more emotional labor than they’re getting compensated for.

She also feels contempt for her clients. Unfortunately I see that in some of my colleagues as well (not many in my circles, but some) but it doesn’t interfere with their ability to provide consistently high quality service. Her contempt is less damning than her laziness, however, the two creating a combination that does not lend itself well to a thriving practice. She makes noises about the therapeutic aspects of the work and alludes to pleasant clients but they ring hollow in between disparaging comments and the silver lining to her paid dating career doesn’t come until the last paragraph or two of the article.

Being an erotic services provider isn’t for everyone but I think it could be for her IF she steps up her game and formalizes her practice. She’s shown a willingness to follow through on the primary responsibilities and her nod to the quality clients she seems to have collected recently tells me that she could be sustainable. She needs to acknowledge that what she is doing isn’t ‘seizing power and control’ it’s giving it away to men with money because she doesn’t control the circumstances. She relies on a single third party website to generate all of her clientele, she doesn’t have any safety policies whatsoever, and she uses her Princeton degree as an excuse to avoid investing in her brand.

So while I don’t exactly have a ringing endorsement for this young woman’s professional activities, I see potential in her and I hope she recognizes it, too. I think she would be a hell of a lot happier with a broader client list, clearer boundaries, and some sort of long term plan but who am I to tell someone about their own experience?

Euro Spa Sting

On Thursday, July 14, The Seattle Times reported on a sting operation conducted by Seattle Police from July 5 to July July 14. SPD netted 22,000$ from the money the clients brought to pay their provider and expect over a half million in fines to follow.

Several things disturb me about this event. Aside from my obvious disagreement with the current laws regarding my work and my clients, these sorts of nonviolent crimes should not be a priority for SPD when we have violent actions right here in Seattle, particularly in the primarily black Central District. The comments left by readers reflected that opinion, citing specific instances where even upper class white neighborhoods see long response times, if any at all, while time and resources pour into this lucrative yet socially damaging operation.

Some say that it’s justified since these men were looking to see “sex slave[s]” and that they were planning to exploit vulnerable women. From the comments made by the Undercover Officer who played the provider and by Police Chief Umporowitz, the woman these men thought they were seeing for sexual services was neither a slave nor vulnerable. She bragged about her ability to convince reluctant clients to agree to exchange money for services (a crime now called Misdemeanor Sexual Exploitation instead of the clearer but less emotionally charged Misdemeanor Patronizing a Prostitute) and all officers quoted in the article expressed disdain for the men they arrested. The article specifically mentions men crying and begging not to be charged as charges like this, particularly with such a vague and damning title, can cause the loss of family, employment, and establishes far reaching stigma. In each case, the writer showed no compassion or sympathy. For those who believe that a sting like this helps end demand for sexual slavery or sexual human trafficking, that is a misperception. There will always be a market for sexual labor and if that market is saturated with consenting adults operating legally, the vast majority of clients will choose the legally operating providers over those who expose them to legal risks such as underage providers or drug users.

So we see that first, stings don’t decrease the demand for sexual labor, they simply drive the market for it further underground and scare off respectable clients. Second, this particular sting did nothing to combat actual abuse considering the clients had no reason to think abuse was occurring, nor were they attempting to abuse the provider. Third, the social and financial consequences these men now face are more harmful to the public than helpful considering the emotional and economic fallout of strong punishments.

My heart goes out to these men. This article was posted to the Seattle subreddit and one of the young men arrested posted a comment.


I was one of the men arrested through this sting. I haven’t told any of my friends or family because I am embarrassed and I just wanted to let my feelings out. As someone who often times feels alone this was a way out and a way I could have physical contact with someone. I knew what I was doing was illegal. But a way to escape the loneliness even just for a bit seemed with it. I am very young in my early 20’s (not the one mentioned in the article). This happening so early in my life makes me feel that any hope for a positive future very unlikely. I am going to school right now but not sure if I’ll keep going. Since it does go on my record everywhere I apply to will see it and make it hard to get a professional job so I don’t see the point in trying. Not to mention the $2700 fine will make my life for the next year a much more challenging. I am working on accepting what happened and moving on but it’s hard. This is just a different perspective on this issue.

Thank you for reading.

Regardless of whether or not you believe that the act of prostitution itself is morally right or wrong, ruining lives over a nonviolent act is not healthy for society. This poor young man, just starting his life, now faces enormous hurdles for simply trying to find someone to touch him in a nonjudgemental, human way. I have many clients looking for the same thing: human contact. They are all kind, thoughtful, appreciative, and undeserving of this ridicule and harsh punishment. This sting was not about aiding vulnerable women, it was not about safety or equality, it was about money, pure and simple. SPD made over half a million dollars from fines alone and the publicity this generates will go toward winning another grant from anti-prostitution NPOs. While the time and energy of a dozen officers over the course of ten days went into arresting and punishing guys who just want to be touched, Seattle citizens suffered from decreased enforcement for real time, potentially violent crimes.

Please readers, stay safe. This work is good and meaningful and fun and pleasurable and I would hate for anyone else to get caught in the political crossfire. SWOP is talking with legislators, city attorney’s, and others in response to activities like this and continues to fight for the decriminalization of this harmless work so that you, our client, can better know who is and isn’t safe and so that resources are focused on actual abuse and violence.

To those who went to Euro Spa and felt the harsh hand of the law, I am so sorry. I am also interested in talking with you about your experience. I would love to paint a verbal picture of what it looks and feels like to go through that process. People should know how it feels to go through something like that and a sympathetic portrait of a victim of a sting could be a huge step towards humanizing my beloved clients.

He Brought Me Wine

He had gray hair, tall and lean for his age, and he was carrying a small wooden box, oval, held together with tiny brass pegs.
“I brought this for you.”
This was our first meeting, always a moment of nerves, expectancy, wonder, and usually my own emotional pleasure. I enjoy impressing people with my wit and pretty face and you only get that first chance to make an impression. It’s also my chance to suss out a new client. Is he pushy? Will I need to keep my panties on the reinforce boundaries or will I be able to hover inches from his face, secure in the knowledge that he’ll hold himself back? Can I reach my taser?
“Thank you! It beautiful, where did you get it?””
“I had this old maple in my back yard that needed to be cut down. Turns out it’s [some special kind that’s got a gorgeous wavy grain but I don’t remember] so I saved the lumber.”
“You made this!?” I was astonished. I looked closer at the tight fastenings, the little brass circles flush with the wood grain, lustrous, bright, shimmering, and full of chocolates. “Did you make these, too?”
“They’re orange truffles. I hope you like chocolate.”
In two minutes this man, some seventy-something retiree, had made me feel simultaneously like an adored mistress and the laziest sod to walk the earth. The details of our meeting fade away but that stands out, as does our second and only other meeting.

“Would you give this to Adelle? It’s her label.”
He had just presented me with four tall, dark bottles, capped with a ruby wax seal. Labeled ‘Christina Rouge’, ‘Christina Cabernet Franc’, ‘Christina Cabernet Sauvignon’, and ‘Adelle Rouge’ and simple, clear labels. The three ‘Christina’ bottles had a simple silhouette, hand sketched with only four lines, of a woman’s curved ass and the outline of one hip. The one labeled ‘Adelle’ had a dark label that, if one looked closely, hid a demure photo drawn from Adelle’s website, contrast turned down low so it would be subtle.
“Now when you open this, don’t drink it right away. Give it at least a day or two. I don’t have enough barrels to do the full aging so it’ll need to breathe.”
Once again my aged client had shown me up, but in an even bigger way than before. He was dedicated to staying active and though I’ve never seen or heard from him since, I’m sure he’s still around. Or I hope, at least.

I opened one today. I had the first sips as I began to write this. It seemed fitting that it should spark such clear memories and that I should write them down while they still fluttered in my mind’s eye, one of many pleasurable memories my beloved clients create with me. The wax was difficult to remove and I prayed that the intervening years hadn’t spoiled it. It is delicious.

Screening

Our community has been hit. Screening has always been an issue for both clients and providers. You, our client, don’t know if you can trust us or our digital security. You don’t know if we’re manipulative, law enforcement, or just careless but you trust us (or not) because this industry is overall pretty great (or not, depending on your experience). We don’t know if you’re illiterate, hyper cautious, or a serial rapist but we trust you (or not) because this industry is overall pretty great (or not, depending on your experience). After TRB, MyRedBook, and RentBoy among others went down in multi-agency law enforcement efforts and it became known that KGirlDelights’ client database (complete with legal names) was in the hands of the law, clients were even more reluctant to share personal information with potential providers.

I completely understand this attitude and I don’t blame clients for being careful and skeptical. You should be. But so should I. There are a lot of conversations on review boards and community forums about screening and generally, clients want to remain anonymous while providers want as much info as they can get. One of the reasons I fight for the decriminalization of all sex work is so that I and my sisters can demand your full legal name, every time, and you have no legitimate reason to deny us. That may sound harsh, but let me illustrate part of my reasoning.

One of my sisters was raped recently. I won’t go into the details aside from that she was explicit in denying a particular act multiple times, the client put her in a compromising position, violated that denial of consent, and then apologized. Whether or not his apology is heartfelt, he obviously does not accept boundaries as boundaries and should not be allowed to see sex workers, or anyone else for that matter, in the future. However, we have no recourse other than a community wide warning against an email address and a username. We have no name to take to law enforcement, and even if we did she has the double shame of being the survivor of a particularly devastating sexual assault AND being a ‘woman of questionable character’. She would, should she have pressed charges, have been dragged, verbally and publicly, through her assault multiple times as her character was disparaged and her status as a sex worker exposed. This helps NO ONE except her rapist. Under decriminalization, this vulnerable young woman would be able to work with a mentor to prevent such situations, ask this gentleman for personal ID in order to hold him accountable, and hopefully remove one of many compromising layers that smother rape survivors.

The men who ran the Korean Sex Worker ‘trafficking’ ring will likely get a few months in jail, a fine, and a slap on the wrist. They are embarrassed and hugely inconvenienced, albeit unnecessarily in my opinion, by their deep and arrogant involvement with the management side of prostitution. Patronizing a prostitute, however, is a gross misdemeanor*. A few months, a few thousand, and a highly embarrassing situation (or quiet plea deal, whichever) is your most likely consequence**. You, the client, don’t need to worry about being murdered or raped (though the rare robbery aided by management does happen I hear). I understand your reluctance to risk the embarrassment, cost, and potential loss of employment IF your information is uncovered. Please understand the risk your provider is taking by allowing you, on the word of other providers alone, to come into her home, get her naked, and lie down together. Please understand why some providers demand personal information. Please understand the courtesy your provider does for you by allowing you to maintain your anonymity. Please understand why most charge for meet and greet screening and STILL ask for ID. Please treat her with patience and respect because she is willing to risk her personal safety so you can avoid embarrassment. Please provide her with the information she asks for. Please say please and thank you.

My heart goes out to this young woman, naïve and trusting, who allowed this man, on the recommendation of others, into herself and was painfully violated as reward for her trust. Please remember this the next time you find yourself frustrated by the time and effort it takes to pass screening and understand why some screening methods are simply unacceptable to some of us. I takes one risks because usually people are pretty great and because this is my job and I need to pay the bills. Fortunately I am privileged and experienced enough to avoid the greatest risks, but we are not all so blessed.

Please consider donating to SWOP Seattle for their untiring efforts to educate, decriminalize, and hear all members of our community, not just those of us who are most fortunate. Should you prefer to make a more personal donation, consider booking next time Ms Savanna Sly***, SWOP USA president, tours in Seattle, or with Sola Love or Sol Finer, both critical members of SWOP Seattle, or next time you and I meet you can donate through me and I will make sure it gets where it needs to go.

*SWOP fought the legislation that changed patronizing a prostitute from a misdemeanor to a gross misdemeanor. We won the first time around but not when it was reintroduced this year. We fight for you, too.
**Hiding your identity will not help you should you be arrested in a sting. Stop-and-identify laws in Washington state require you to produce ID if you are under reasonable suspicion of a crime. Answering an ad for prostitution is, unfortunately, grounds for reasonable suspicion and you will be required to identify yourself and produce ID. If it is not on you, I assume they will simply detain you until you provide your name verbally or your lawyer provides your ID as you are, once again, under reasonable suspicion. Also, stings tend to be day-of events. Book a day or two ahead the first time you meet a provider and that MAY decrease the likelihood of being involved in a sting. Also never agree to pay a set amount of money for a set service, either verbally or via text/email and NEVER (I really shouldn’t have to say this) agree to see a provider who admits they are under the age of 18!!
***Savanna is a ProDomme but if you prefer more delicate delights she offers FBSM and she and I would be happy to duo with you.

 

 

Update: Sure enough: a few weeks after posting this, there was a sting at a fake rub and tug establishment in the University district. There was no screening involved and, surprise, surprise, over 200 potential and actual clients got arrested. Avoiding screening does not mean avoiding Law Enforcement.

Rev: Duo with Iris Anelito and one lucky hunk

LOCATION: My place, but she has a place in Belltown
DATE: Last Thursday, June 9
NAME: Iris Anelito
INCALL/OUTCALL: My incall, but she has one, too
AGENCY OR INDY: I can’t imagine her needing anyone else
ACCURATE PICTURE: Yes ~ Her face is even more beautiful than the figure seen in her photos
AGE: Mid thirties, timeless
PERSONALITY: Perceptive, intelligent, wise, deliberate, sensuous… All I could want in a woman
RACE: Asian American, with the best of both worlds
BODY TYPE: Petite, slender yet feminine.
WEIGHT: I’m terrible at this part, but if I’m 135, she must be 115 or 120?
HEIGHT: Shorter than me!! That never happens, haha 🙂 but not by much, only an inch or two.
BUST: Perky, responsive, used to great effect
WAIST: Slender and fit, gently curved both up and down.
HIPS: Again, gently curved and firm.
HAIR: Black and close-cropped, framing a small, sensuous face
EYES: Dark, shouldering, inviting
FEET: Clean and petite, painted, sure
SKIN TONE: Amber honey, ripe olives, smooth to the touch
TRIMMING: Polished
TATTOOS: Beautiful, feminine ink flanking her hips and arcing up her back. Very visually appealing, enhancing her already toned curves.
SCARS: None that I noticed
PIERCINGS: I didn’t notice anything other than ears
MOLES: Nothing remarkable
BIRTHMARKS: Nothing noticeable
CLOTHES: Very professional one piece business attire, knee high teal socks, distinct absence of bosom support 😉
GLASSES: None
MOANER OR A SCREAMER: She had more… tactile occupations for her mouth
ENERGY LEVEL DURING THE SESSION: I’m having difficulty describing it. Not low energy, for sure, but not high energy either. Like embers, hotter than fire but hidden under a dampening layer of warm ash. All three of us were totally absorbed in the slow burn.
MULTI SHOTS DURING THE HOUR: Start with one and see if you feel the need to try for another. I’m willing to bet you’ll need a very long nap first, haha!
ACCEPTS FRENCH: FBSM only
SMOKES: I don’t think so
DRINKS: I’m sure she would but they were on their lunch breaks so unfortunately not this time.
KISSES: Oh. My. God. I haven’t been so stricken by a first kiss since I first kissed my current partner over three years ago. Soft, sweet, slooooow, erotic, arousing….. I can’t even describe
FRENCH: FBSM only
GREEK: FBSM only
RUSSIAN: She’s REALLY good with her hands 😉
DO’s or DON’T’s: DO read her website and go see her! She has a full personal life so take care to make a good first impression.
WEB-SITE: http://www.irisblooms.com
SCREENING PROCESS: For this duo I had a good regular to introduce to her. For her screening, see her website.
PHONE: She will provide at her discretion
RATES: 250/hour, 375/90 minutes, 500/2 hours, 700/3 hours (with nibbles and chatting)
RECOMMEND: Wholeheartedly!
COMMENTS: Some of you have already heard me say that women are like Cinnamon: a great addition to any dish but you wouldn’t want to eat a spoonful by itself. I like women as an enhancement and addition to heteronormative interactions but women by themselves don’t physically arouse me….. Until Thursday. Some combination of her soft, smooth, olive skin, her exquisite, teasing kisses, her brilliance, her full contact and the way her eyes smouldered at both of us… If sexual energy could be quantified, she would be the wealthiest woman in the world.

Traffic made her a bit later than she wanted to be, so the two of them accidentally walked in together. He with a big grin on his face, her wearing her shining, knowing smile. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on both of them, so it was only a few minutes before I stood behind him, she in front, our hands working together to undo buttons from collar to belt. Exquisitely slowly and yet in no time flat, we all shed our clothes and moved from the living room into the massage room and we laid him down on my table. Four warm hands smoothed fragrant oil over his back, his legs, from shoulder to toe. The details are fuzzy, as was my brain, but I remember her leaning over him to kiss me, I remember all our hands on each other, I remember her kisses and his kisses and their kisses and all our hearts racing and breath coming fast and heavy. I don’t remember when we turned him over, only that it felt like the right time. I remember he and I both so completely taken by the sexual power and energy that we couldn’t think or speak, only feel, only touch. I remember that she seemed like the only one of us who had any presence of mind left when he and I finally got our legs under us and started to get cleaned up! If the expression on my face was anything like his, then I looked dazed and useless for the rest of the day, haha!

I love duos, but I’ve never been in such a deeply arousing duo session before. Danielle and I chat and giggle and I just try to keep up. Adelle and I are focused on you and your pleasure enjoying each other enjoying you. Lauren and I are hands on massage therapists. Numina and I give and take, both still learning from each other. Iris and I…. I’m like a little puppy, following her, begging for more kisses and more time. She split her time perfectly between he and I, I felt, though I would have happily spent hours in her thrall. I highly recommend a get together with her, seriously.