Category: Suggested Reading

Posted on

Duck SESTA!

I know some folks are kind of aware of what’s been going down in the industry but for those of us who are only marginally if at all plugged in: 

 

Last week the President signed into law a pair of acts collectives know as SESTA/FOSTA 

 

They claim to fight sex trafficking by giving tools to law enforcement but the reality is that it targets all sex workers, irrelevant of our own status as consenting or even legal such as  in Nevada. 

 

There’s a clause in the Communications decency act that says a website cannot be held liable for illegal content posted by third party users. If I sell you a stolen bike via craigslist, it’s not Craigslist’s fault that you bought a stolen bike. If I promote the anarchist’s cookbook over Facebook, it’s not Facebook’s fault if someone builds a bomb. This act eliminates that protection but not in the cases of the stolen bike or the bomb builder but in the case of ANY possible instance of sexual labor, consensual or otherwise. 

 

Guys. This is fucking big. This is an attack on online freedoms and the freedom of speech as well as on anyone taking control of their sexuality and using it to further their own goals. There are dozens of op-eds popping up about it if you google it and many of them are questioning the real motivations. Who really benefits from this law? Because it’s not anyone I know.

 

There’s a group in Seattle preparing to launch a huge pro- SESTA/FOSTA PR campaign so keep an eye out for it and stay skeptical. 

 

After Backpage removed it’s adult services section, I posted a list of my favorite six advertising platforms. Of those six, one is gone, one is so slow as to be not useful, one is not accepting new advertiser profiles, two are cost prohibitive for many but are still around, and one has severely cut back on what posters are allowed to say. 

 

I also linked to others’ lists. Of 41 advertising options posted by the cauldron NYC, 18 have gone down, either through neglect or as a direct response to SESTA/FOSTA. Of the remaining 23, thirteen have limited utility due to regionality and difficulty of use or are not accepting new members and only ten out of 41 advertising options are still viable. Of those ten, none are free and few are cheap.

 

Worst of all, the two private blacklists I know of are also cutting back on what people are and aren’t allowed to say. One isn’t even allowing incident descriptions anymore. Knowing the details of a black mark is a critical part of deciding which risks to take and which to avoid at all costs. Only those of us living well in the clear can afford to take no risks at all.

 

This is not going well. You’ll be seeing more vague comments, fewer reviews, and just a general shyness in all industry interactions. You who know me will see how that level of side-mouth-talk irritates the bejeezus out of me but at least my options are open much wider. 

 

One local and immediate short-term solution is literally just giving people money. The Coalition I’ve spoken of is accepting donations for an emergency fund to support sex workers who were living on the edge before this happened and are reaching the end of their resources. Monthly phone plans, immediate food needs, utility bills, etc. It’s going through a few trusted individuals who have direct exposure to marginalized communities but if that’s not in your comfort zone, simply scheduling an appointment with a lady you already know or paying a girl’s full rate even if she’s running a special are ways to help. 

 

I’m ok. I’ll be ok. Actually, a lot of us are going to be ok. Tuesday evening I gathered with a dozen or so providers and about sixty percent of us are ok. But that’s 40% of us scared for our future and one of us has died as a direct result of the loss of advertising and safety mechanisms. Over a dozen have died nation-wide in deaths directly related to losing safety mechanisms and more will go.

 

There are calls to action coming from many sides. I can’t put everything everywhere. If you care about the incredible women who fill little pockets of your life with pleasure and joy, you’ll care about this. Survivors Against SESTA is full of up to date information and resources as is the sex workers subreddit and fostaupdates.com so poke around, see what’s up. We’re still around, it’s just going to be a bit harder for the next little while.

 

Once again I’d like to thank the generous, kind, consistent gentlemen who have allowed me breathing room so I’m not afraid. I appreciate your continued patronage.

Posted on

Fantastic Bodywork

A fantastical imagining. To be taken as an inspiration, not a promise.

 

The apartment is dim; I’ve pulled a heavy curtain across my large window. There are a fed tea lights burning here and there, adding a flickering glow. The layout is a bit awkward, walking through the kitchen before reaching the icing room but once there, the lounge jazz and low light facilitate the kind of conversation that only fills space while I unbutton your cuffs.

Your voice is low, relaxed. You’ve been here before, you know what to expect and you’re looking forward to taking a load off. Our clothes slip to the floor, piece by piece, interspersed with gentle kisses and soft caresses.

“Would you like me to torture you with anticipation or do you prefer I do something about this and let you relax in post-orgasmic bliss?”

“I’m having trouble focusing right now.” You chuckle.

“Then I think I’d like to keep that up. Come lie down.”

I draw the massage table away from the wall where it’s been waiting, dark and inviting. “face down to start.”

From the moment you lie down your heart slows. Breath slows, movement slows, each moment drawing itself longer and longer as you sink into that state of not-awake but not-asleep. Your mind drifts. You feel warm oil and my strong, tiny hand smoothing it over your shoulders, your back, your ass, your legs, teasing with my fingertips a little as I pass your hips.

I start on one side, just above your hip, lifting and kneading your muscles as I sweep my gesture up and down your back, covering every inch of you with kitty-paw massage. If you looked to one side you’d see me in my mirror, clear smooth skin from head to toe, breast swinging, perky bottom braced to give you deep, firm pressure. On occasion you feel a nipple lightly graze your back or a small quite kiss on the back of your neck.

My kneading hands move down your body, giving careful attention to each muscle group. trapezius, latissimus, gluteals, hamstrings, calves… slow. Perfect. Mesmerizing. Each song blends into the next and your mind drifts.

As I finish one final pass, one long, slow stroke from your soles to your shoulders and back, I break contact.

You hear oil pouring but don’t feel it.

You hear me step around to one side. Feel my fingertips brush one thigh. Notice the table shift a bit as I draw myself up, one slow controlled movement, and slide my firm breasts, my soft belly, the curls at my groin, me knees, across your body. Sometimes you feel my fully weight pressing you, a long deep exhale with the comforting weight of a tiny beautiful woman settling onto your back. Sometimes you can only feel the light softness of my feminine curves meeting your skin here and there. Hot breath on your ear, tiny giggles, deep strokes of my knees across those long muscles by your spine. Slow. Controlled. A fine dance, a slow motion jungle gym, pressing, moving, stroking, teasing.

I can feel you when I slip my fingers between your legs. That sweet spot hidden there under, between the family jewels and your shooting star. I can feel your erection as it disappears into you. I can feel you hard, ready, waiting.

“How do you feel about turning over onto your back?” I whisper into your ear. All I get is a smile in response.

It takes a moment as I stand at the foot of the table, watching your muscles move as you turn. A few inelegant flops and you’re resting on your back, your proud, hard cock staring us both in the face. I turn my attention from you to your cock. For a moment, I get to objectify you, turn you into a vehicle for my desire. We lock eyes and I climb up onto the table, onto you, my breasts brushing and pressing up against you, until we lie, me over you, lips locked, my body shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh, pressed up against you.

With one talented hand I draw you close but not over the edge. I hear your silence turned to heavy breath, quiet moans, I feel my own body responding, images leaping to mind, the sensations in my hand translating into my pussy, an echo of penetration. So close, but so far.

We come close to the edge together, my warm hips grinding on your thigh as my hand, slick and hot with oil, an echo of my wet lips, brings you closer, closer, slowly, until I feel that moment, the moment when you’re so full you throb, the moment I hear your moans turn to words “Oh my god.” Yes, your goddess, your sensual treasure, we ratchet each other’s arousal higher and higher with each breath until I feel you shudder, throb, splash us both with hot, slippery come.

We ride your waves together. I know better than to touch the sensitive rim but everything else is fair game. Pressure, subtle movement to keep the waves coming, keep your orgasm going as long as I can. I want you to feel the way I feel when I come.

A deep breath out, a smile, a giggle. Hot damp towels and deep working your hands or feet or shoulders. I can see the tension seep out of you. You eyes are closed; you’re just enjoying the afterglow, the moment of rest before you have to rejoin the world.

A shower, a glass of water, a piece of chocolate, and you’re on your way again. Relaxed. Revived.

Posted on

New Guy

I’m new

Ok, that’s fine. Just send over your references…

No, like really new.

Oh, right. OK, well fill out my screening form on my contact page and…

No, I mean I’m really, really new to this.

…Ooooooh. Wow. Ok take a seat.

If you’re not only new to seeing professionals but you’re new to this whole girls thing in general, there are some things for you to know.

First: Relax. I know that’s not very helpful, but I promise you’ll have a better time if you give yourself time to breath, read everything available to you, follow the click trails, and let yourself sleep on it. When you’re going to your first appointment, arrive a little early so you can take a few breaths. Book 90 minutes so you’re not rushed and have time to ask questions.

Second: we all have different ways of doing things so whatever I say here is overridden by anything your provider says on their website or in their ads.

If you’re looking to lose your virginity with a professional, know that it’s going to be different than with a girlfriend. It’s not guaranteed to be good, or even great, and it certainly won’t be unprotected. There are limitations within this world and navigating the emotional aftermath of sex isn’t always simple.

Ideally, you’ll have found someone nice who is willing to take her time and help you get what you want. You’ll have gotten over that first experience, realized that sex is both under-appreciated and overrated by turns, learned a little about how two bodies work together, and can either return to your provider to learn more or move out into the world with a little confidence under your belt.

There are two ways your first time could go wrong. If your provider isn’t who you thought they’d be or isn’t willing to hug or kiss or cuddle or give you any feedback, you may end up with an isolated, uncomfortable, unsatisfying experience and no context to frame it in. It could make you feel worse, not better. The other way it can go wrong is if your provider is awesome and the lines between emotional connection and sexual satisfaction start to blur.

Both of these problems can often be resolved by finding another, equally awesome provider to either help you experience good sex or to take your focus off the first one.

So how do you even find one of these nice girls? The one who will help you experience pleasure and sex without short changing you or disappointing you? If you’re in Seattle, come find me, Sofina, or Alice. If you’re anywhere else and you can’t afford to fly me to you, look for providers you have something in common with. Many of us have websites with about me pages where we talk about what books we like, what shows we watch, what our hobbies and interests are, and whatever little tidbits we can think of and are willing to share. It’s increasingly common to see providers on twitter, being cute and showing personalities.

Let go of any preconceived ideas of what you want. I’m sure you’d love to hook up with that statuesque blonde but what if the tiny brunette in the corner is going to adore you the way you’ve always wanted? You can see the blonde later. Right now you’re searching for a vibe, not a look.

There aren’t any hard and fast keywords to search for, either. Plenty of folks who advertise as ‘unrushed’ kick you out the moment you’ve come. There’s a list of acronyms to pick and choose from but not everyone agrees on every thing so even that’s not foolproof. If you want this to feel beautiful and special, doing your homework helps.

Doing your homework looks like reading a bunch. Follow any links your provider has on their website and investigate a little. At http://divinadaemon.com/1209-2/ I wrote up a list of advertising sites for the Seattle area specifically but several of them are national or global so they’re a good place to start.

Never sign up for anything related to this industry with an email address you use for work or that has your name in it. You may be asked to screen using your name, that’s fine, but don’t just leave it sitting around for any subpoena to catch. Have your provider delete your information after they’ve seen you and/or use encrypted methods to communicate it. A lot of folks are using proton mail these days.

So you’ve looked around, followed her on twitter, seen some cute pictures, and think you’re ready to take the plunge. Now what? I have forms on my website that walk you through whichever screening method you’re comfortable with. I’ve upgraded them so they’re encrypted and all my email addresses are as well. It should be simple to click through the steps and initiate screening. Once my assistant has done a light online screening (checking blacklists, quick google searches, verifying employment, etc) she will email you with the go-ahead for scheduling.

I have another form for that, also simple and straightforward, that asks for exactly the information I need to reserve time for us.

I usually suggest bodywork for our first meeting. First of all, it’s less expensive so if you end up changing your mind you’re not out to the same degree you might have been. Second, if you’ve never kissed, touched, fondled, or made love, this will all be a little overwhelming. It’s likely you’ll be nervous and you can only do so much in 90 minutes. With the tablework, some of your time is face down. By limiting your visual input, it’s easier to enjoy the other senses. And finally, it’s low pressure on you. Those jangling nerves can have weird effects; some people can’t maintain erections, others only have them a few moments before they’re done and gone. If we’re focused entirely on you, there’s no pressure or disappointment. As an added bonus, I’m a very good masseuse so if all else goes to shit at lest you’ll get a nice massage out of it, haha!

If you opt to go big or go home, that’s fine, too, it just means we won’t quite know each other that well yet and we might be a little awkward at first 😉

When you’re getting ready for your first full service appointment, shower thoroughly before you show up. That means you’ll have to touch your butthole with your soapy hand and if you have a foreskin it might mean pulling it back to expose your head to rinse it. I don’t recommend applying soap to skin that would normally be covered by a foreskin but rinse it thoroughly. I do the same with everything covered by my outer labia: rinse well but do not apply soap. Soap does, however, go on the butt, the outer labia, and for you, the balls and perineum (the bit between balls and butt). Not everyone manages this. There’s nothing quite like stinky junk to prevent that amazing blowjob from happening.

File your nails and trim your cuticles. Don’t cut your nails, file them. Check your mouth, hands, and genitals for any cuts, scrapes, sores, or wounds. Yes, that means that bleeding hangnail and the dry skin cracks if they get too deep. If you have any, cover them. This might mean using gloves or a dental dam when pleasuring her or it might mean applying a liquid or fabric bandaid.

If you’re going to manscape, trim, don’t shave, and certainly don’t shave right before as you’ll have micro wounds from the razor. Also, no one likes prickly stubble grinding up on their sensitive bits so it’s best to either wax or trim, not shave.

Same with brushing and flossing: Floss the night before, brush the morning of, mouthwash upon arrival. Bristles cause micro wounds that can increase the risks of passing on bugs.

Ah, the envelope. So many people worry about the envelope. I’m not terribly picky about what you put my fee in, as long as it’s correct and present. I prefer you put it down somewhere obvious: a countertop or some such, and usually I ignore it until we’re done. With new clients sometimes I will make a point of checking to make sure we’re all on the same page, but it’s rarely a problem. The standard method is a plain, unmarked white envelope, unsealed so it’s easy to open and also reusable. Alternative methods are inside a thank you card or inside a gift bag with a gift. I’m always chuffed to get a new book that has a few extra leaves in it. When in doubt, leave it out, in plain sight, and don’t mention it. The rate should be very clear beforehand, either agreed upon over email or clearly listed on her website.

How to ask about rates? That’s a tricky one because everyone feels differently. What if the thing you want is included in the lower rate and you didn’t know that or they only have one rate and you’re not sure you’ll get to do the thing you want to do within that rate? This is one of the most relevant reasons for you, clients, to be fighting for decriminalization. By telling you what you will or won’t do, your provider is incriminating you both. It’s the number one method, and the only method useful in court, for busting providers and clients. It’s frustrating as hell and it’s why nearly no one will actually tell you whether they’ll kiss you or not. It’s how shady folks hide and how honest and open folks get arrested. The short answer is: you don’t get to ask about her rates and services because if you do, and she tells you, and you’re a vice officer, she’s screwed, and not in the fun way. You should, unfortunately, be suspicious of anyone who offers you a menu or rate structure that outlines services. Don’t ask, don’t tell, and I hope it gets repealed, ha!

However, once both of you have met once or twice, you are now allowed to make inquiries. Some ladies are ok with simple question and answer. I find it most helpful when I hear “I’ve always wondered about XYZ. Have you done it before? How was it?” Now I know that it’s on your radar. If I’m down, we go for it. If I’m not but I know someone who is, I’ll suggest you go see her (and if I know her well enough I can even give her a heads up). Until then, you just have to go with the flow.

Generally, with 90 minutes, I try to spend a lot of time kissing and hugging, undressing each other, letting you look at me… that’s a big one. It’s rare that guys get the chance to really just stare at a woman, much less a real life naked one, without shame. All these firsts just keep rocking through you, not giving you much chance to reflect and process. I try to give us time for that. I’ll give you pointers and feedback and do my best to read your face for signs of ecstasy or fear or anything in between. If I don’t feel that you’re ready, I won’t push you into it.

What now? Sex is pretty great, isn’t it? I know there are limitations in emotional connection and in sensitivity, but it’s still great and now it’s not some mysterious unknown. If you decide that’s all you needed, I hope it helps and I hope your future lovers appreciate how careful you were with yourself and your sexuality. If you decide to come back enough times to learn how to read a sexual situation, how to establish boundaries with new partners, and how to listen to your partner’s body, then I hope I’m up to the task. If you decide this is it, you’re just gonna stick with ladies of the evening for the foreseeable future, I’m happy to welcome you into my world and help you establish a pleasurable and robust community experience.

For the bullet-pointed among us: here’s the quick and dirty how-to.

New client step-by step instructions:

1: Read my FAQ page in full www.amiepetite.com/FAQ

2: Fill out my screening form. Feel free to follow up if you have questions AFTER you’ve filled it out. https://form.jotform.com/71645582884166

3: After getting the go-ahead from Rose, check my calendar against yours and find a time we’re both available. www.amiepetite.com/calendar-and-rates

4: Fill out my appointment request form. https://form.jotform.com/71647421484156

5: Once we’ve confirmed an appointment, read the detailed instructions you’ll get from Rose.

6: Arrive a few minutes early, let me know you’re nearby, and follow the directions I send you.

7: Make sure you’ve counted out the correct fee ahead of time – Leave it on my counter when you arrive. I’ll ignore it until we’re done.

8: Enjoy yourself. Make your desires known and we will find a happy middle ground.

Posted on

Come Along

How to make Amie O: a simple guide.

Step one: Don’t. You can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do and trying to force an orgasm out of me is just going to annoy me. Let’s try another tack.

How to help Amie O: a less simple guide

Step one: don’t worry about it. Let me revel in your touch and let orgasms come naturally. Or not. I am much more likely to enjoy my time with you if I am invited to revel in pleasure rather than demanded to perform.

Step two: slow down. No seriously, let me relax and tune into you. Spend time on my neck and arms and the small of my back, tease around the edges and don’t skip the nips and go straight to hammering my clit.

Step three: don’t hammer my clit. Ever. Don’t suck on my labia like you saw someone do once in porn, don’t lift the hood and drive your tongue or fingers straight onto that pretty little button or it will very quickly melt down and end all our fun. Some ladies have the cast iron clit that demands a hitachi on high but mine is a sleeping kitten, an unfolding flower, delicate layers of thin, fine pastry that beg for gentle tonguing and light, slick, buttery touch.

Step four: use your lips. Tongue is great for teases and for when business really gets rolling but never underestimate the pleasure power of soft, dry, whispery lips across my everywhere. Use them instead of teeth to nibble my earlobe, let them drift baby smooth under the curve of my breast, tickly whiskers and all. And don’t underestimate the tip of the nose as a tongue substitute on dry skin.

Step five: use your ears. If I say more, less, harder, lighter, faster, slower, freaking do it! I don’t fake my orgasms, I am reasonably well in touch with my body and if I am still possessed of the power of speech, there’s more to be done. I’ll try to make it easy for you but if you ignore my requests because you think you know better, you will lose pussy privileges.

Step six: use your eyes. The visible rhythm of my heart in my chest, the breath caught in my belly, where my hands go, the gyrations or lack thereof in my hips, all give valuable information. By the time you have to read my body language, I’m on my way to an orgasm and you’ve probably paid attention, listened, and taken me gently and carefully to the point where you don’t have to be quite so gentle and careful anymore. If I get really quiet, don’t stop doing whatever it is that you’re doing.

Step seven: Enjoy yourself. I love orgasms, no matter who is having them, but they’re a secondary goal. My primary goal for each encounter is that we both enjoy ourselves. Whether that means a few rounds of strip poker or 45 minutes of vigorous fucking until we both collapse sweaty and cum covered in a fit of giggles or you receive a beautiful and joyous massage, it’s all good. I enjoy myself in many ways depending on my mood and you can trust me to let you know if I’m not.

Step eight: trust me. I know my body and myself and you can trust me to let you know what I want. I don’t fake my pleasure for anyone anymore. I won’t lie about orgasms or enjoyment or anything. If I tell you I’m not excited about coming or I’d prefer you to use me for your pleasure today, I hope you’ll trust that I mean it. I know how to be a selfish lover when it’s necessary and I know how to be generous and enthusiastic. I know how to respect the desires of my partner and I hope I can trust you to do the same.

Post Script: I am interested in coming inasmuch as you are interested in me coming. The above is for folks who get off on me getting off and is in no way intended to dissuade a good old fashioned selfish fuck. I really and truly don’t mind a nice client who shows up, soaks in my attention and energy, and leaves refreshed. It gives me a deep sense of satisfaction to recharge someone’s batteries like that, to give them a place where they can, for once, honest to god just enjoy themselves without worrying about whether they’re doing it right. As long as you can respect my ‘no’ when it comes up, you’re as good as gold in my book. And sometimes you’re just the cool drink of water I need.

Posted on

It’s No Fantasy

Feelings happen. Often, when feelings happen, they are confusing. We are told that feelings come from specific places and mean certain things. When we experience feelings we weren’t expecting with a provider, that can be confusing. We try to put them into the framework of monogamous, marital love and that does not fit within sex work boundaries. New clients discovering this industry, particularly with excellent providers, can easily confuse the feelings of safety, comfort, loving physical contact, sexiness, acceptance, and sexual pleasure with feelings of love and romance. Often, those feelings of love and romance are then projected onto the provider when it might be healthier to integrate them into the client’s identity.*

In this industry, managing feelings comes with the territory. The easiest answer to the question “Does my provider have feelings for me? I only ask because [special treatment]” is “of course not, it’s all fantasy.” In my opinion, that answer is too small.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have mostly self-aware clients. You educate yourselves, you read what I write, you enjoy the level of intimacy we share without forgetting that it’s only possible because of our boundaries. You appreciate the industry and what it can do while also making yourselves aware of the risks and downsides. When we come to trust each other and some of my boundaries relax, you take pride in being a client who makes my work easy, or if not easy then at least rewarding.

You also know very well that I don’t create a fantasy for you. I don’t pretend to be your girlfriend, nor do I put on the airs of a trained companion or ‘high end escort’. I don’t fake my pleasure or tolerate discomfort any more than I would for any lover. I spend hours thinking about how to best manage our expectations and I get genuine satisfaction from our encounters. I am genuinely, wholeheartedly pleased to have you as a client.

You, my client who cares about my pleasure and my expectations, bring me gifts and cards and bring my friends over to fool around with. You, my client who gives me financial freedom and with it a sense of safety and security. You, my client, whom I cherish and adore and who can never and will never be just friends.

We met under amazing circumstances. I got to dance with you on my table and roll with you in bed. We’ve cuddled and fucked and told each other secrets we can’t tell anyone else. We will always hold a special place for each other in our memories and in our lives. No way can I give that up.

Someday I will leave this work. You will find love or death or another beautiful woman in another beautiful city. Whatever the reason, you and I will end our precious relationship. I will wonder what you’re up to and you might wonder the same. I’ll toss that scarf around my neck or wear that sweater and smile at the memory it holds. And that memory will stay beautiful, more valuable than diamonds, because we didn’t try to make it what it wasn’t meant to be.

So the next time someone somewhere asks “Does my provider have feelings for me?” We can answer “Yes, she does. She feels passion and joy and comfort and safety and pleasure for her awesome regular client. Enjoy the special treatment, don’t read into it, and never take it for granted.”

*I’m never more pleased than when a client begins to love themselves and realize that I only facilitate their experience, it is their own body which creates it.

Posted on

Le menu du jour

I’m not sure why I don’t get this question very often but my friends often do: some variation of “what’s on the menu?”

I haven’t had a menu for a long time, partly because it wasn’t normal on the old board, partly because I was doing massage only and it’s generally understood to be pretty restrictive, and partly because I don’t want to promise the same thing to different people.

As I get back into the swing of things, I’m learning that I have a cycle of desire. I sort of knew that already; there were days when my body responded with near irresistible desire and others when even people who usually turned me on weren’t doing it for me. I’ve only in the last week started actually recording these swings because it finally became really important.

I’ve talked to a few people about this; how some days I’m just not excited for sex but other days I can’t get enough. Without fail, everyone wants to come over when I’m insatiable. This sounds great to me, too! The problem is, so often, I don’t know until I’m in the moment. It’s been a few hours since my last orgasm and I’m already craving another, daydreaming about my boys and which one I’d like to have over, but it’s too late to coordinate an actual get together. I can’t expect you to be at my beck and call when I find the inverse irritating.

So I’m keeping track, finding correlation, and I’ll be letting people know when it comes up because it dictates in a big way what I’m willing to do for the day. Now, I’m always good, giving, and game. I’m always up to bring you pleasure, you don’t have to worry, but I’m not always able to come, I’m not always able to selfishly receive, and I’m never able to just fake it till you make it. If you see ‘shark week’ on my calendar, it’s because I’m in a fucking frenzy.

***

As a tangentially related note, receiving sexual touch authentically is probably one of the hardest parts about this industry. There are many ways to receive sexual touch authentically, and they don’t all look the same. For a few, it means only having sex when they’re in the mood. For some, it’s about only doing things that are if not pleasurable, at least comfortable. For others, it’s about doing whatever is necessary to provide a great experience for the client. For many, it changes from session to session and each person holds different things from their clients for themselves.

I do know there are a lot of lovely darlings out there who love to please and pleasure. You like cunnilingus and intimate massage and playing with my body to bring pleasure. There are some of my esteemed colleagues who offer a middle ground between one-way sensual touch and full service. I considered this for some time and ultimately decided not to. My beloved givers who I empathize with so deeply, yes, you may pamper me as much as you desire and I welcome your ministrations. Goddess worship, mutual masturbation, reciprocal oral, all these things are wonderful and welcome. I strongly feel that there is no less intimacy, trust, and energy required to receive your hands or tongue than to receive your cock. I do not value your touch any more or less because of which part you use and I hope you will not value my time any more or less in return.

Most of my clients want to see me enjoy myself. I appreciate that my pleasure is important, I’d much rather be with someone who cares that I’m at least comfortable. This is why this conversation is important: my desires aren’t always for sexual stimulation, just like you. I cannot promise to come every time. I cannot promise to want sexual pleasure every time. I cannot promise you any act every time (although there are a few I rarely skip). I can’t even promise you’ll get off (though I will do my darnedest) in exactly the way you want every time.

I can, however, promise to always be present with you, not distracted by my phone or my personal life. I will always be ready to help you reach your orgasm in whatever way I can. I will always let you know if something isn’t good or right so you can help me receive pleasure. I will always communicate about our needs and desires. I will always take care of myself so that I am ready to take care of you in turn. And I can promise that every once in a while, I will ask you to not worry about my pleasure and simply take yours, freely given, with joy and respect.

Posted on

New site, new name, new services

Happy summer my beloveds!

Those of you who get my newsletter already know but there is a new me!

Since October I’ve been preparing to offer full service again. First psyching myself up, then testing the waters slowly, with a few regular friends. Now I’m voracious and am going public with my offerings. I find that the more I have, the more I want (up to a point) and the pleasure is out of this world.

I don’t have the fanciest setup. When I chose my new location back in October I wasn’t planning on this. The space isn’t huge but I’ve managed to make it work so far. When my lease is up I may consider a move but we shall see.

I have had to say goodbye to a few friends. Unfortunately, not all my beloveds care about my pleasure and will listen when I say what works. Others are incapable of changing old habits. To these loves I’d like to refer you to one or more of my many many delightful friends and colleagues.

Speaking of: the galleries on my images page are my favorite part of the new launch. As they’re taken, I’ll be adding pictures of myself and my duo partners together to a special gallery to spark your imagination. I do adore getting my hands on my girlfriends and if you give me an excuse? Oh my darling…

In addition to new session types, rates have gone up for FBSM as of next Sunday. I’ve stolen an idea from a few friends and chosen to offer discounts to more regular guests instead of grandfathering in old old rates so please make yourself aware of your benefit. You’ll notice that snuggles are no longer a session option. If you absolutely loved it and can’t stand missing out on cuddles, I can make special exceptions for old friends but be aware that it’s subject to my whims, haha.

 

As for why I’m adding these services back and changing my name, it simply feels right. When I chose to restrict myself to unidirectional touch, it was a chance for me to learn and grow in the safety of physical boundaries. Over the past few years, I’ve learned a great deal about myself, gained several valued mentors, and finally feel prepared to responsibly reenter the exciting world of escorting. I also feel that I’ve mastered my craft when it comes to sensual massage and, while I’ll never stop learning and inventing, my overactive mind needed novel stimulus. I do still want three or four FBSM sessions in a week to keep myself in practice and to add variety to my work so please don’t stop requesting it! You’ll just have more options now.

I’ve learned my body better and am capable of far more pleasure than I was several years ago. I’ve discovered a strong desire for novelty and excitement which you all provide to varying degrees. I’m excited to explore the city with you and I need more free time to add life skills and try to write more. My financial goals continue to rise as I plan for my future, and my wanderlust takes me from my work often enough that I want to make it more impactful and interesting.

But why the new name? Christina Slater was a fine name, it was ok, it wasn’t very interesting, but it worked for a new girl growing into maturity. This industry is a fun one in that we can reinvent ourselves to reflect changes. While the small town Montana girl is still alive and well, she has made room for a cosmopolitan socialite with a greater sense of globalism and an even greater thirst for knowledge. I lost weight, learned a new language, gutted my closet, traveled the world (a bit of it), and simply feel a desire to reflect all that new growth in a new name.

A petite amie is a girlfriend, a little French lady friend; it’s me exactly. Let Amie Petite by your new favorite petite amie.

www.amiepetite.com

Posted on

PSA: Personal Information

It shouldn’t have to be said, but please, do not share personal information your provider has shared with you wth other clients or providers, even if it’s with one of her friends.

I’ve had at least two providers who were friends of mine outed to me and aspects of others’ personal lives revealed that I did not know. I have no idea how many times I’ve been outed to discreet, polite, professional providers who have the sense to end it there. I love all these fantastic providers but please be respectful and let us tell each other those things; don’t violate the privilege of intimacy or it will be revoked.

If your provider reveals her name to you, awesome. I’m very happy she’s reached that level of trust and mutual respect with you. Please DO NOT assume she has revealed it to anyone else, even other provider friends. The vast majority of my friends in the community have not told me their given names and I will not ask, that’s for them to decide.

Know her relationship status? Her home town? Her alma mater? Don’t assume I know those things. She may choose to tell me, but those are her personal details to reveal, not yours. Know mine? Again, please don’t let it slip, even to my friends. Not everyone knows everything and that’s important both for my own safety and for my friends’ plausible deniability.

I totally get it and I’ve been guilty of this in the past. I adore my friends and love to gush about them. I have opinions and I like to share them. But please, respect our privacy and NEVER EVER EVER assume that because we’re duo partners or share an incall, we know each other’s given names, relationship status, family situation, emotional state, hometown, neighborhood, other incall locations, business practices, safety strategies, day jobs, financial status, legal status, eating habits, health care needs, leisure activities, or anything else. If it’s not published on her website or social media, assume it’s private between the two of you and keep it that way.

Posted on

Seattle Alternative Advertising

Under continued political pressure, Backpage, a popular advertising site, has disabled their adult services section, much as Craigslist did some years ago. Maggie McNeil will be writing about it in tomorrow’s column with her trademark exhuberance and is going to publish an exhaustive list of advertising alternatives. Her readership is far broader than mine and so I will leave the exhaustive listing to her and focus this post on the most important thing: me.

Backpage has a bad reputation in Seattle. The popular (read: loud) opinion on discussion forums I read is that the providers are subpar at best and the clients are irritatingly shallow. However, having spoken to above average ladies who use it, I understand it is not only useful but with careful presentation can reach great clients. It’s an international platform that offers no-nonsense advertising for low initial cost. A lot of people used it to find clients online, thus staying safely behind closed doors. Some good friends of mine and many more acquaintances and sisters will see a sharp drop in their income surely within the month but probably sooner unless they can find alternative effective advertising venues.

And so we met.

Sol Finer, Sola Love, Savanna Sly, Maggie McNeil and representatives from CoSWAC and the Gender Justice League met with a group of around thirty providers to discuss short and long term options. There are incredibly long lists at the following places:

Saucysayswhat.tumblr.com

http://thecauldronnyc.com/backpage-alternatives/

maggiemcneill.wordpress.com

But the big question is: which ones are any good and, for those of us here in Seattle, where are all the ladies going?

The first alternative that comes to people’s minds is TNA. Some love it, some hate it, but it is an alternative, it’s hugely active, and it’s free to join. I am registered and marginally active on Eros, P411, Slixa, The Hobby Hunter, and TER. You can also follow your favorites on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook; some ladies update availability and other such fun things. My most effective tool is my newsletter, thank you those who’ve subscribed. I’m going to go down this list and talk a little bit about each option, how providers can use them, and how clients can most effectively use them.

TNAboard

Cost:

Free for a basic provider membership, 50/month for a premium membership. The difference is whether or not you can have a signature and how often you can advertise. I’m not sure whether/how much clients have to pay for membership but premium status allows you to, for example, post comments of advertisements and in the Ladies’ Lounge. It’s not necessary.

Difficulty:

Providers need to submit a picture of their face with the date and their username visible to the moderators for verification. They can voluntarily submit a photo of their photo ID with all information except the DOB and face shopped out in order to become ‘TNA verified’. The process isn’t too time consuming and there are photo blur apps available for smartphones so you don’t need a computer.

Region:

TNA covers pretty much the entire West Coast as well as a few major cities across the country. It’s most active in Washington and california.

Vibe:

TNA is well known as the wild west of message boards. There are vehement opinions and drama galore but if you generally avoid the message boards and only advertise the clients will find you.

How to:

As a provider, this board allows you to build a brand. You can chime in on any of the many topics that pop up. If you find you like the conversations and can easily jump in, no problem. If you find them too aggressive, do this: comment only on topics you find genuinely interesting, read only the first page of comments, craft a careful reply to the original point, and only pay attention to respectful replies (they happen on occasion). You’re creating a paper trail of your opinions on things like social time, lingerie, favorite activities, interests, and more importantly how you conduct yourself. Clients will post reviews unless you specifically ask them not to. It is helpful to reply to the reviews with a personal comment as soon as you can, while you still remember the interaction, to serve as a record for future providers who may see this client. I, personally, will only comment if I know the client quite well and have no reservations about recommending them. Otherwise I use reviews and vouches as a potential reference list and will try to email for more information.

As a client, if you would like to interact on the message boards it can be fun sometimes but the easiest way to use TNA is simply to browse the ads. When you see something that catches your eye, you can use the advertiser’s profile to view their post history, reviews, profile, and contact information. There is a handy ‘to do list’ function that saves profiles to a list for easy access later. It’s useful because the search function and memory are both unreliable but do note that the provider gets a private message notifying them of your action.

 

EROS

Cost:

Starts at just over $100/month but goes up quickly when you add categories. I had some success with it several years ago but haven’t used it in quite a while. When I did use it I got two or three inquiries per week.

Difficulty:

You may have to submit a photo of your ID for age verification if the reviewer thinks you look under 25; they take no risks with underage workers. Also, be very very very careful with your wording. They will censor anything but the vaguest of euphemisms. Browse other ads to get a sense of what is allowed, be vague, leave the more explicit talk for your private website or better yet, for pillow talk after your session.

Region:

International, and you can advertise when you’re visiting as well. They take requests, too, if you can get enough people together to all ask for the same city they will add it to their listings.

Vibe:

It’s only advertising, no reviews, no discussions, but it looks very sleek and classy. I personally recognize a few dozen of my colleagues and friends; EROS has the highest concentration of former TRB advertisers here in Seattle.

How to:

Providers simply create an ad, pay via bitcoin, money order, or credit card (no prepaid cards anymore), and post. You can set it to auto-update even so you just set it and forget it. It requires no maintenance and is probably the simplest advertising venue, if expensive right up front.

Clients simply browse and follow the instructions in her ad, the end.

 

Preferred 411

Cost: free to join, it costs credits to actually advertise but I’ve never advertised on P411 before, simply maintained a profile. Logging in every week or so bumps your profile higher on the list and makes you more visible or you can stick your profile to the top by paying up to 100/month via bitcoin, credit card, cash, or money order.

Difficulty:

You have to submit three photos: one of your ID, one of you holding your ID, and one of you holding a paper with your name, the date, and your application number on it. Again, they only need your photo and DOB so blur out the rest of the information on your ID.

Region:

International

Vibe:

P411 is mostly a verification site. Members have varying levels of verification and can ‘OK’ each other. I use the OK list to choose reliable references and will email them for personal references. DO THIS! I have seen clients on P411 with multiple OKs from reputable providers, friends of mine even, for whom I would very much like to give actual references for. It also doesn’t tell you how old the OKs are and people change so it’s always a good idea to follow up.

For clients, this can be a good way to streamline the review process. The site asks for some level of verification from you, I believe you have the option to submit employment information to get verified by this third party service so you might not have to disclose that information to your providers, it depends on their personal policies. In any case, it’s one place to browse for providers in the area you’re looking for, although their information might be out of date.

 

SLIXA

Cost:

Free to have a profile but all advertisements cost credits and no one sees your profile until you have an ad. Credits are 1:1 USD and the most basic ad is 2 credits per day.

Difficulty:

Easy as pie. Fill out the profile, pay for the ad, you’re done

Region: International

Vibe:

Similar to EROS

How to:

Similar to EROS; no client/provider interaction, only advertising. It’s acutally a very slick website but I’ve heard from others that it’s slow. It’s run by a former sex worker, however, so we’d like to patronize it if possible.

 

The Hobby Hunter

Cost:

A bit less than 200/year but you can do it in smaller incrememnts. Paid for by money order.

Difficulty:

It wasn’t difficult for me in the month or so after TRB went down but it’s a small board run by one woman so the backlog seems to be slowing registration to a crawl. That being said, setting up your profile isn’t difficult and, while it’s not perfectly intuitive, once you get the hang of it it’s easy to navigate.

Region:

Primarily Portland. It’s a slow board but they have established a Seattle section and if we can gather steam it could turn into a viable option.

Vibe:

Super nice. Reviews and forums are available but everyone is terribly respectful and encouraging to each other. It reminds me of the way TRB used to be.

How to:

There’s a chat function which is kinda fun as well as the various forums. If you’re looking for a high energy place, this is not it. I can’t even think of strategies to stand out from the crowd; there is no crowd. If you’re already a member or can become one in the near future, it’s more a place to go and chill than a place to rake in clients. Clients, it’s nice place to interact with relaxed providers in a setting of cameraderie but unless you’re headed to Portland or Vncouver, very few Seattle ladies are currently advertising there.

 

The Erotic Review

Cost:

Free for providers and clients to have a basic membership, paid for premium. I’ve never paid for it so I don’t know payment options or price. Providers can see VIP details of their own reviews though they may have to spend some time working with the mods to attatch the right reviews to the right profile. Clients can get premium membership by posting a review of a new lady but not by posting a second review of the same lady.

Difficulty:

No verification needed, only you might need to contact the moderators if you’re just signing up in order to connect your reviews and profile with your account. You cannot set up your own profile, the first client to review you fills out all the details, meaning if you’d like to explore this option, choose a client you like and trust to set you situation up for you.

Region:

International

Vibe:

TER is run by clients, for clients. Providers can post in the discussion forums but they’re not sorted very well so you’ll be interacting with people you may never meet. The review structure is the most contentious part. Providers who don’t offer the full range of services including unprotected oral sex, PIV sex, kissing, etc cannot be rated higher than 7/10, meaning the most mind blowing, earth shattering, life changing erotic bodyrub you’ve ever had won’t be ranked as high as a mediocre blowjob. Also, clients are rewarded for new reviews of new girls so it encourages many short interactions instead of long term relationships which goes against the grain for many.

How to:

Providers who are not yet on TER: it’s out there and it can work for you. Create your profile, share it on your website or in your email footer, and keep an eye on it. This is the only site where reviews can be your friend so you need to be proactive. Encourage one new client per month to write a review; it bumps you to the top of search results and will often generate a new client or two. If you are one who doesn’t like reviews, make it clear beforehand because they are difficult to remove.

Clients can help providers here by writing respectful, moderate reviews of ladies you know. You can write more than one review of the same lady. I suggest one new review per year since dynamics can change over the year. I also suggest emailing your provider the text of your review prior to submitting it to make sure it doesn’t upset her or reveal something she’d rather keep between you two. As far as using it yourself, the search function is reasonably useful and while the Seattle advertising section is slow, it picked up after TRB went down and may do so again in the next few weeks.

 

And as a footnote: Providers have been advised to advertise in the ‘professional services: massage’ and ‘personals’ sections of backpage. If you liked the immediacy of backpage, you can look there for familiar faces. I personally am going to move towards SLIXA for several reasons: it’s reasonably priced, the website looks good, and it’s owned by a former sex worker. I’ll be directing my fellow providers there and to the personals sections of backpage.

 

I’d write more but it’s quite late and I’m tired. Please feel free to leave comments below with your thoughts on the events and alternatives. I’m going to publish now and proofread Saturday, sorry for any mistakes.

 

One last thing: Our community rallied immediately. We are so fortunate to be in a place where crises like this bring us together instead of fracturing an already vulnerable community. I’m hoping we can ride this wave and move forward.

Posted on

When You’re Expecting

We all have expectations, and we should, because otherwise why would we do anything ever? The problem is, many people have unrealistically high expectations and are disappointed when the experience falls short. So, here are two lists, one for clients and one for providers, of reasonable, realistic expectations.

As a client, you should expect your provider to:
-Be on time
-Resemble her photos (some use fake photos for privacy. That’s ok, they just need to accurately represent her.)
-Provide services as advertised*
-Provide a clean location if she offers incall
-Not up-sell unless for off-menu services
-Keep the session moving so you complete desired/available activities within the time allotted

Everything else is variable, but it is not unusual for your provider to:
-Be attractive
-Be enthusiastic
-Provide more than minimum services
-Agree to special requests when possible
-Have amenities on hand such as oral hygiene products and a variety of condoms
-Accommodate those with varying levels of ability or health

And while it’s nice when it happens, you should never expect your provider to:
-Let the session run overtime
-Offer social time off the clock
-Provide off-menu services**
-Accommodate special requests with short notice
-Be available same-day/immediately
-Engage in lengthy conversations outside of session time
-Put up with pushy or whiny behavior

As a provider, you should expect your client to:
-Be on time or, if late, still pay the full amount
-Pay the full amount without talking about it
-Leave on time
-Shower if asked
-Not pressure you for extra services

It’s not unusual for your client to:
-Be a few minutes early if time allows
-Be appreciative of your time and services
-Put the money down discretely before the session
-Initiate a trip to the restroom to freshen up/shower
-Want to pleasure you

And while it’s nice when it happens, you should never expect your client to:
-Watch the clock for you
-Leave early
-Be in perfect health
-Take you out for paid social time or shopping trips
-Tip
-Be perfectly clean all over***
-Be good at pleasuring you

Now that we’ve set our expectations in a realistic place, we can move forward. When things we reasonably expect to happen don’t happen, we have options, the least productive of which is to be angry. We can simply not see that provider or client again, we can write a review or an alert detailing the issue factually without emotion, or we can waste our emotional resources on an already unsatisfying experience. I know what I would do.

Obviously I didn’t include things like ‘you should expect your client to not rape or kill you’ and ‘you should expect your provider to not arrest or rob you’ but those seemed a bit obvious and, except for rare occasions, should not be necessary to enumerate.

So next time you find yourself walking away from a session disappointed, check your expectations before you get angry. If you feel entitled to extra time or services because you’ve been seeing a lady for ages, check your expectations.

…I say to the choir. If you’re reading this, you’re probably one of my darlings who exceeds my expectations regularly. These unrealistic expectations are a phenomenon I often see on forums and boards but rarely see in person. I hope, if you read this and I resonates with you, that you are able to understand both sides of this unusually intimate dynamic and it helps you empathize with your provider or your client when they ask for or begin to expect more than is realistic.

*This is a tricky one since we can’t explicitly advertise specific services but for massage/FBSM/erotic bodywork/body rub/etc you can reasonably expect to be touched all over, Have her attempt to give you at least one orgasm, and have shower facilities available. Skill level, mutual touch, kissing, cuddling, enthusiasm, energy level, and more are variable and require research into reviews and advertising analysis. For full service, you can reasonably expect to receive oral sex (most ladies will indicate whether they provide oral sex with or without a condom), cuddle, and experience penetrative sex. Most ladies will allow you to give them oral and will kiss you; if they do not they will usually indicate that or it will show up in her reviews. Even then, if you have Erectile dysfunction or other issues you may not be able to engage in penetrative sex. This is not your provider’s fault.

**Off menu services are exactly that: off menu. While some providers will provide them for an additional fee, many will not offer them at all. A client is welcome to ask, a single time, for off menu services and be satisfied with the answer. Asking again after being told ‘no’ is not cool. Asking multiple times, pressuring, guilting, or attempting are all grounds to end a session early and potentially blacklist the client.

***Faces, fingernails, and butts are the bare minimum. Use wet wipes instead of TP if you’re not planning on a shower. Wash your hands and rinse your mouth with mouthwash at the start and end of the session. File, don’t cut, your fingernails And scrub underneath them. Nobody likes bacterial vaginitis. If you can’t avoid stubble or have a particularly bristly beard, go easy on her skin, particularly if you’re giving her oral as that’s a very delicate, sensitive area and stubble can steal orgasms. Shaving mere hours before is not a guarantee you won’t have stubble. If she offers oral sex without a condom, rinse your penis with water (under your foreskin if you have one) and wash your balls with shampoo or soap. All the way to your anus. When in doubt, ask. Take chlorophyll tablets regularly.