Tag: Updates

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The Worst Admin I’ll Ever do

On July 18 of this year, I had to send an email I had hoped I’d never need to.

I get tested for STIs regularly, though sometimes I let more time go by than I should. Historically, my results have always been negative, which makes sense, given my practices and activities. For ten years, every few months I would get pricked and swabbed and sampled, and every time my results came back “negative – within normal limits” for everything.

Well my streak came to an abrupt and unpleasant halt this summer.

Everything south of the border was good to go, but my love of licking finally got to me, and my throat swab came back positive for Ghonorhea.

The usual symptoms are sore throat, burning, swollen glands, etc, but I hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary. I wouldn’t have even known if I hadn’t been (over, to be honest) due for testing. Which, by the way, is exactly why we do it regularly instead of waiting for something to happen.

The physical impact, for me, was basically nothing. I popped over to my local planned parenthood, they gave me a single intramuscular dose of antibiotics, and sent me on my way. I went back to my doctor two weeks later for a follow up and I was 100% good to go.

The emotional impact, however, was so, so much worse, and that’s why I’m writing about this publicly.

Because I was overdue on my testing, I had to go back FIVE MONTHS in my calendar and tell every single person I’d met within that time frame that they had possibly been exposed. And because It’s hard for me to resist that specific kind of a good time during even my FBSM appointments, I had to tell everyone everyone.

I can tell you, that’s the hardest email I’ve ever sent. I was embarrassed I’d fallen so badly behind on my testing. I was afraid that people would be angry with me for exposing them. I was chagrined at the fact that others would have to spend time and money (and in some cases miss out on work or appointments with other providers) on a problem I could have maybe prevented. I was committed to doing better. And I was fucking proud of myself for hitting send on that email, snaky hands and all.

To those of my readers who got that email, I cannot stress enough how fucking proud I am of you. The overwhelming response was “Thank you for telling me. I’ve scheduled an appointment to get tested. I’ll let you know what the results are.” Some of you were scared, too. And helpful. And kind. One or two of you were defensive or insecure. All of you did a great job being responsible.

To my first replier, the one who said “I know you don’t need to hear this but you’re doing the right thing”: I really, really did need to hear that. Thank you.

I drew on my close friends for support (shoutout to Tiny Phryne who sat with me via text as I was drafting the email) and felt so much love and reassurance, but it could easily have gone very badly for me. It only takes one pissed off individual to ruin a career in this industry and it would have been entirely understandable to be upset at this kind of news.

But every single person handled themselves well, and everyone who followed up with their results was negative. Every new result reported made me feel better. I was worried I would have been the cause of someone else’s discomfort or embarrassment and I’m so glad that everyone came out unscathed. I was also reassured that, even if someone had popped hot, at least they knew and could stop it in its tracks.

As for where it came from… If anyone turned up positive, they chose not to share that with me. Which is fine. I’m curious, but it wouldn’t have changed anything for me that I wasn’t already changing anyway. I decided to first: be more diligent about sticking to a once per three months testing schedule and second: to up my throat swab schedule to once a month.

Since July, I’ve done exactly that. I have been pleased to get the regular notification from my health care team telling me I’m good to go for another month, and instead of waiting until it’s time and then trying to remember to schedule my next test, I stop by the front desk on my way out and schedule a rematch as close to four weeks out as I can. It works so much better, and helps me hold myself to a professional standard that I more often aspire to than reach.

I’m writing this post, partly because writing is how I process, but partly to normalize testing and sharing your results when you need to. And honestly, partly as marketing. Good marketing is as much about who you don’t appeal to as who you do, and I’d like to invite anyone who is turned off by this post to cherish that. Discomfort is a sign from your body that you’re not ready, and listening to those signs is exceedingly wise.

Thank you my friends for being such incredible people. For taking it in stride, for seeking knowledge, for being kind, and for trusting me. I am honored to be worthy of that trust and I look forward to many more years of good health.

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June updates

Whew! It’s been a whirlwind of a month and it doesn’t look like it’s slowing down much. I’ve been in and out of town, hiking, working out, writing, planning, and trying to shoehorn in more reading time than usual.

I had my first useful trip to Portland. I planned better (not perfectly) and actually got some good time with friends and family.

I did get a hotel too far out of town. It made sense in regards to visiting a friend of mine who lives out past Beaverton but as for everything else… let’s just say that next time I’ll plan ahead better. I also stayed up too late and felt the effects of that plus driving as my whole body health got knocked around a bit.

The good news here is that I’m confident in my Portland trips. I have a strong anchor client which makes me feel more secure and makes the trips more pleasant.

What is an anchor client, you ask? An anchor client is the one who first brings me to a new city. Often we’ve met on a trip that brought them to Seattle (which I prefer whenever possible) and most importantly they have handled all my mistakes with grace. Running late, not knowing neighborhoods, asking them to accommodate my schedule, making them drive an hour out of their way because I’m bad with distances and maps and things… basically they’ve been the testing ground as I figure out a new place and so, now that I’m a bit more comfortable, they get special treatment.

Now that I have a trustworthy anchor in Portland, I get to go whenever I want, which may be about every 6-8 weeks, depending. So keep an eye out, make sure your newsletter profile includes ‘portland’ so you get travel notices directly to your inbox.

What else have I been up to? Well, doing some home repairs, as always, and there’s a naughty party going down this evening that I’m using to introduce my voluptuous friend Jules to the Seattle crowd. She’s so nervous for her very first orgy so I’m looking forward to walking her through it. Newsletter subscribers will be happy to know that, because of the volume of summer travel, my four handed special will be extended through July so there’s a bit of wiggle room.

There’s so much to do, so much to think about but I can’t write it all out here. I have to go on a wine purchasing errand, ha!

Oh, before I go: I’ve been working out and sunbathing so if you were terribly attached to my creamy skin and slight pudge you may want to brace yourself. Conversely: if I was a bit too pale or a smidge too round for your tastes the last time we met, you may be curious to come see the subtle changes.

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And A Happy New Year

Oh 2016, You’ve been an interesting one, that’s for sure.

As the list of losses climbed through the year, natural and political disasters continue unabated, and we’ve definitely reached the tipping point on Global Climate change, I look back on my own personal 2016 and see a very different trend.

This year started pretty terribly, with the Review Board shut down, advertising options suddenly limited, community resources diminished, and some beloved (and not so beloved) friends losing their lives, it looked like 2016 would be a year of confusion and terror.

For some, it has been but for me it has been a year of growth and change I think I will look back on fondly for some time yet.

First, I learned to be careful. I began policing my own behavior and openness a great deal more, taking more precautions and avoiding potentially compromising positions. I have benefitted from that in many ways and have passed those benefits on to you, though you may not have noticed it.

Then, I began to act. I coordinated and organized and tried to preserve the community as best I could and have managed to do what I think is an OK job of maintaining social connections between providers and allies who value this industry and the magical experiences that can come of it. Between large co-ed parties and small, ladies only get togethers, I’ve managed to maintain connections to some of the most intelligent, interesting, exciting providers in the area as well as creating new connections around the area.

I made some changes to my business model and became more consistent in my content; I finally began doing this as if it was not only my hobby but my business. Responsible boundary-keeping is not the only thing that makes a provider a professional, it is also maintaining a welcoming, immaculate incall, consistently creating new and exciting experiences, and being present and timely with administrative tasks (Thank you Rose!).

I’ve begun work on a book I hope will bring income to me, amusement to you, and a better picture of the industry to the world. A mix of autobiographical musings, profiles of major colleagues, and most of all stories of my interactions with my beloved clients, I hope to show the world that, while some guys are just dicks, the vast majority of people seeking erotic services are greater than the current narrative tells us they are. I had hoped to have more work done on it by the end of this year but it’s been a bigger year than I anticipated.

Partly because I took my first trip overseas! It was fabulous. I’ll never forget the sights and sounds and flavors and people. In fact, I’m already planning my next one! It has permanently shifted my perspective just a bit; you will all be the recipients of my healthier lifestyle and broader worldview in the coming months if you haven’t already 🙂

Here at the end of 2016 I’m working toward concrete goals and it’s all thanks to you, my clients and my colleagues, who have supported me, given me valuable advice and feedback, had hours and hours of hilarious, serious, sensual, beautiful, fulfilling, healing, amusing, intoxicating interactions, and ultimately helped me become a more interesting, more valuable person than I was at the beginning of the year.

I hope your holidays have been merry and your 2017 kicks ass!

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Getting Fresh

I’m sitting here on the couch watching Joanne Wier gets fresh. Its a cooking show on public television where this mid thirties woman ‘teaches’ her students how to cook. It’s a fun twist on the traditional cooking show and it means she gets to have these nice young people from different backgrounds come share her craft and take away a few truisms regarding flavor and cooking methods.

This episode she’s adding prosciutto di parma to a salad. Prosciutto di parma, if you don’t already know, is a type of cured ham that I think of as rich man’s bacon. It’s rich, its salty, it’s got nutty, earthy flavors, and you don’t need much of it to make a powerful statement. It’s made in Italy and shipped to your local Whole Foods so you can try it yourself. It goes well on pizza, crisped in the oven and crumbled over salad, or as a component of your charcuterie before or in between courses.

I once tweeted at Joanne Wier that the whole time I’m watching her show all I can imagine is her banging her students. She makes comments that you only think are dirty if you‘re already a little naughty minded. So I see them all the time. “Feel it on your tongue” and “I definitely got some seed” popped up recently. There’s this one student who has been on her show multiple times. He’s a brazillian ballet dancer and he positively oozes sex appeal. My partner and I are in full agreement: they’re totes banging. The best part though? Her social media manager tweeted back! Haha. Either it’s a slow day for her Twitter feed or they know exactly what they’re doing when they giver her shows suggestive titles. In an episode called “Citrus three ways” she says “Get ready to pucker up and get fresh.” I mean, c’mon..

The fun thing about food, though, is that it really is a sensual experience. Watching an episode of America’s Test Kitchen really is like watching porn, except instead of my pussy getting wet and desirous it’s my mouth. You may remember my short suggestive essay on succulent pulled pork shoulder. The descriptions and feelings of pleasure are very similar between good food and good sexual experiences. Temperature differences, slick moisture, earthy, salty scents and flavors, the visual aspect of a well presented plate…. All run parallel to stimulus we feel in our sensual encounters.

A friend of mine has a stipulation that any restaurant you take her to should be at least three stars on yelp. It sounds kinda elitist at first but what she’s telling you with this is that food, like sex, is important to her and she doesn’t want to waste her time or yours on it if it’s done poorly. She limits her volume to intensify the pleasure and I can certainly agree with her on valuing great sensory experiences.

I’ve noticed my tastes changing as I learn more about good food and as I age. I notice nuances in truly subtly delicious food. I need and want less of it when it’s more satisfying. I desire salt and umami more than sugar. I’ve even kinda lost my taste for straight chocolate. I like it with salt or ginger or sour fruits or in delicious buttery brown cookies but by itself, even a dark, bitter bar, it’s overwhelming. Same thing with pizza and pasta and even salads: If it doesn’t have good flavor and texture, it’s hard to enjoy it

I remember the best steak I’ve ever had. We were at the Metropolitan Grill, Bananas Foster at the table next to us, a mouthwatering, perfect, rich steak on my plate (or what’s left of it), and my eyes rolling with pleasure at every bite. It’s definitely number one on my list of greatest steaks, with numbers 2-5 going to home made, seared and baked ribeyes. Aside: Take me to the metropolitan grill and get that social time for free! After Valentine’s Day. Until then I’m vegetarian. Sigh.

I’m planning on being vegetarian for six weeks starting in January. As some of you have noticed, I’ve lost some weight. I feel fucking hot as hell but there are those few pounds left to shed. In the aftermath of the holidays and their emphasis on food and drink, a simple cleanse sounds like just the ticket. I’m not looking forward to it but I am looking forward to bikini weather and this year, for the first time, I’ll be really ready.

And yes, I’ll post pictures 😉

I want to wish you a very happy Holiday Season. Thank you, again, for your warm support over the last few years.

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I missed you!!

For the first time in several months I missed my self imposed Thursday deadline. I am sorry to those of you who have become accustomed to new thoughts every week that I slipped. My only excuse is that I’ve been incredibly, terribly, wonderfully busy since my return. I have, since October 1, revisited jet lag, thrown a party, attended two more, moved my entire incall a block away, bought and assembled a very nice couch from IKEA, arranged to pick up supplies for a family wedding, created two new websites, and still managed to find time to entertain my darling friends and have just a little breathing room for myself. Also I’m learning French so there’s that, haha. Anyway, I did start to write something last week but didn’t finish it on time. Here, after revision, is last week’s post.

I observed a tantra session sone time ago and found it, though unaligned with my own ideas about energy, very helpful. The principles of extending the length of time before climax, maintaining communication throughout, and valuing the journey as much as the destination all resonate with me and I gained valuable vocabulary to describe some vague concepts I had feelings about, but no words.

The more I interact with people in such an intimate setting, the more I learn about the ways we subtly influence each other. I have one client with whom I had the hardest time connecting. I felt useless, like my skills weren’t appropriate for this client, and I was confused that he came back at all, much less often. It Turns out that the frantic need to come that I felt was a waste of my talents was for him a stimulant to creativity. I wondered why he chose 90 minutes sessions, came in 5, and left 10—15 early every time. It’s because he needed to get the orgasm out of the way so he could relax into the massage and allow his mind to work on whatever problem he wrestled at the time. When he came to a solution, he felt a restless urgency to leave immediately and implement the solution he had found. Somehow, without knowing it, my bodywork and the clarity of mind the comes immediately post-orgasm created the perfect conditions for his problem solving subconscious.

This and other interactions lead me to start thinking about and discussing energetic exchange. I don’t really buy into energy work such as reiki and acupuncture but I do think it reasonable to acknowledge things like body language, the placebo effect, and the contagion of moods. I absorb my client’s mood but is it through energetic flow back and forth or is it subtle cues in his body language? The placebo effect is well documented and supports the idea that your mind has much more influence over your body than we like to think. Is this a case of my energy effecting yours or is it a physiological domino effect starting with a conviction?

In our segment on energetic healing, our teacher made a very good point. What lets me see you (light), feel you (electricity and heat), hear you (sound), and respond to you (nonverbal cues) are all forces, energies we send back and forth to each other. Even our own gravitational attraction to each other is great. Some people are synesthetes who combine and confuse color and flavor and sound. Some people are empaths who can discern the truth of a statement in your eyes. We all, in some way, exchange signals with each other. I call it body language, someone else calls it energy. However I explain it, I know how to use it to help create an experience for you, only for you, that brings you satisfaction and more.

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The winds of change

I’m moved in. Not really but I have keys and the first load of never ending laundry rumbles away in the closet. It’s dark in here. I have the blinds turned down for privacy since there is another building right across the alley, and it’s a dim day, anyway, dull dusk at 5pm. There’s no furniture here yet, only the lamp in the corner. I can still see the odd empty space next to the plant at the old place in my mind’s eye and hope it doesn’t startle Claire too much when she stops by for her evening call. I’ll be ready, if rudimentary, to entertain at the new place Sunday.

A lot of things have changed this month, or it feels like they have. I’ve started on a slow but hopefully not as slow as I put it on weight loss program. I didn’t realize quite the extent of my ‘voluptuousness’ until I switched back from summer dresses to jeans. Denim is far less forgiving and emphasized how high my waist has risen. Oh I still look fine and my face is as open and inviting as ever but I have this image in my mind of a trim girl with taught legs. My muscle is toned, it’s just under a layer of padding a bit thicker than I’m happy with. So for the next six months it’s smaller plates, less wine, fewer chocolates, coffee with cream instead of lattes, and more walking.

Between the new place, return from abroad, winter approaching, and the change in public transit I’m establishing, or trying to establish, a new routine. Wake up an hour or so before I need to leave the house (unless I have something before 10) and relax. Wake up naturally, brew some coffee, have a piece of toast with homemade jam, catch up on Reddit, and prepare for the rest of the day. Be in town by 10:30 and spend time writing, cleaning, relaxing, and socializing unless I have an appointment. Catch a bus home and have fresh homemade dinner with a glass of wine and read a bit before bed. Saturday can be a stay home and do fun home stuff like special lunch or host a cocktail party. Maybe some evening I invite colleagues over to my new place for a few drinks and to play with the stripper pole! 😉

My ambitions are always ahead of my accomplishments but formalizing and sharing those intentions often helps. The time I tried Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and totally failed to follow through comes to mind but this is a bit simpler and easier to accomplish. One thing that seems oddly easy is my French language practice. I picked up a bunch of new words last month and am having a great deal of good luck with DuoLingo, a simple smart phone app that gives you small tasks and phrases and a daily goal to meet. I’m enjoying it and am able to at least translate visually. French pronunciation is so different from English and even Spanish that I have a terrible time hearing and interpreting.

So exercise, language, social events, what else is new? I’m sure I’ll think of something but in the meantime I’ll try to keep you amused with anecdotes and current events as I find them.

Oh, and an apology to those of you who registered for my newsletter and got a dozen or so copies: apparently it’s a glitch with the software. I’m working on a fix and will try to stay on top of it next month. Thank you for your kind patience.

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On The Road Again

This is it. If you’re reading this then I’m in the air (or on the ground at the other end) for my very first European Vacation. I’ll be gone until the end of the month and I won’t be checked in much while I’m gone. I’m leaving electronics (mostly) at home and taking only a backpack full of clothes and a journal with me.

The itinerary includes a once in a lifetime concert, hiking, castles, yachts, ancient ruins, busting cities, and ample time to simply sit down and relax, chat with locals, and get a real feel for the places we’re staying.

I didn’t mean to at first but I’ve been updating on Thursdays and I didn’t want to stop that schedule so I’ve set it up to auto post some things I found interesting but aren’t time sensitive while I’m gone. One old post I found looking through stuff, one article I found while checking Google search terms (that one is very long, 15 pages, but well worth reading.), one mental picture, and one book review.

I hope to see you when I get back. Rose will be monitoring my inbox for me so if you want or need to plan ahead feel free to enlist her aid. I would be just tickled pink if my calendar was full of new meetings with old friends after this adventure. Fair warning: my usual talkativeness will probably be ratcheted up quite a bit what with all the new adventures I’ll have.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy your Labor Day and new school year and I look forward to hanging out when I get back!

XOXO

P.s.
If you’d like recommendations for alternates while I’m gone, you can either check out my ‘me and my friends’ page or send me a quick email. My auto responder has a list of ladies I like that should be around and able to get together.

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Call me Maybe

Update: I ended up not using the phone and eventually lent it to a friend whose phone suddenly went kaput so she could contact her family and friends while driving home late at night. If I decide to get another phone I’ll let people know but as of now, email is really the best way to reach me. obviously the phone thing was a failed experiment, sigh.

I have a work phone now. If you’ve seen me, you have my google voice number but it’s generally for texting and I don’t want it published on the Internet. As of last week, however, I decided to take the plunge and get a burner phone. The number is (206)295-9138 and it is a dumb phone so texting is cumbersome.

I’ve decided that this is how I will manage it: Phone calls from numbers I haven’t saved into the phone will go to voicemail. You leave a message letting me know who you are and, if I know you already, I’ll save your number and will answer phone calls or text messages. If I don’t know you, you leave a voicemail and let me know when I can call you back. I’ll call back and we can do the whole who are you, who are your references, etc thing and go from there. After we’ve met, I can save your number into my phone and you can call or text to book in the future. I hope that makes as much sense to you as to me.

If you choose the phone option, please make sure you have a burner phone or at least a proxy such as Google voice, etc. While discretion is the first line of defense, digital security is the second line of defense and a burner phone is both easy and cheap to get. Go to the drug store and buy one in cash and call it your emergency car phone. Google voice has an app you can bury in a folder on your smart phone or forward the number to your regular phone.

I still prefer email but I know sometimes a phone call is easier and if I have your number saved, then I’ll never forget that you’re awesome and I want you back 😉

Thank you for your patience with my changing options.

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I’ve Been a Busy Girl

Over the last few months I’ve been working on certification to sell real estate in Washington, mentally preparing to move (again), having three wisdom teeth removed (and discovering the joys of Oxycodone), hosting friends for a few days, trying new recipes and making business plans, and just generally staying busy.

The classes are delightful. Online forums are a big part of the class experience and I love that. There have been some touchy issues such as imminent domain and adverse possession (squatter’s rights, for the uninitiated) which are always fun to talk about. Some people, especially in the land of the free, home of the brave, are fiercely possessive of their hard won right to own and use land however they see fit. I include myself in that, but that fierce possessiveness leads to some intensely reactive ranting. People don’t like it when it is pointed out that they are reacting to a situation which is nearly impossible. That happened a few times: someone would answer the question of the week by posting a short rant about how they ‘can’t believe this still happens’ and ‘imagine that happening to you! how dare people?’ and I would reply with ‘you realize the amount of negligence necessary for this to happen, right? It’s fairly obvious you haven’t read the coursework for this discussion since it eliminates the situation you’re so angry about.’ and sit back and wait for…. nothing. No one replies because 1 they don’t have to and 2 there’s nothing dignified to be said to that. You find it all over the internet but in a class their grade relies on their behavior so there is at least some decorum. It did make that part of class more enjoyable.

Aside from feeling superior about myself in class (an unsavory habit, but hard to break :-P), I spent a lot of time learning really good stuff. I’m sure most of my readers are or have been homeowners so you already know all about qualifying for a mortgage, contingencies, liens, and all the minutiae that go along with property ownership and management. I’m hoping to have my license by the end of the year so I can start 2014 with a new plan and a new agenda.

There’s an interesting thing about free time I’ve noticed, that’s actually quite irritating when there are things to be done. Free time isn’t really relaxing until the things that need doing are done. Say I have an assignment due. The hour spent Redditing before completing the assignment is vastly inferior than the hour after the assignment is complete. This means that I don’t feel like I have as much free time as I actually do, because it takes two hours to get things done when they should take one. It makes me feel as though I’ve been far busier than I really have been. It’s also taken a long time to get back into the swing of school so I’m spending time catching up instead of getting ahead which can be problematic.

In the meantime I’ve been truly enjoying participating on the Review Board (www.thereviewboard.net) in some of the more recent discussions. I was ecstatic to see people encouraging each other to post reviews of new and local providers. The best way to encourage the kind of content you want to see is to post it in the first place. Maybe more of us local ladies should make a bigger deal out of reviews, the kind of reviews we want to read about ourselves. Perhaps a bottle of nice wine and some extra time for indulgence as a natural reward for public acknowledgement of our skills and talents. I think I may make that a policy once I have that incall space set up 😛 keep your eyes peeled for those kinds of updates.

I’m in a scattered mood at the moment so I apologize for the scattered nature of this little update.