I missed you!!

For the first time in several months I missed my self imposed Thursday deadline. I am sorry to those of you who have become accustomed to new thoughts every week that I slipped. My only excuse is that I’ve been incredibly, terribly, wonderfully busy since my return. I have, since October 1, revisited jet lag, thrown a party, attended two more, moved my entire incall a block away, bought and assembled a very nice couch from IKEA, arranged to pick up supplies for a family wedding, created two new websites, and still managed to find time to entertain my darling friends and have just a little breathing room for myself. Also I’m learning French so there’s that, haha. Anyway, I did start to write something last week but didn’t finish it on time. Here, after revision, is last week’s post.

I observed a tantra session sone time ago and found it, though unaligned with my own ideas about energy, very helpful. The principles of extending the length of time before climax, maintaining communication throughout, and valuing the journey as much as the destination all resonate with me and I gained valuable vocabulary to describe some vague concepts I had feelings about, but no words.

The more I interact with people in such an intimate setting, the more I learn about the ways we subtly influence each other. I have one client with whom I had the hardest time connecting. I felt useless, like my skills weren’t appropriate for this client, and I was confused that he came back at all, much less often. It Turns out that the frantic need to come that I felt was a waste of my talents was for him a stimulant to creativity. I wondered why he chose 90 minutes sessions, came in 5, and left 10—15 early every time. It’s because he needed to get the orgasm out of the way so he could relax into the massage and allow his mind to work on whatever problem he wrestled at the time. When he came to a solution, he felt a restless urgency to leave immediately and implement the solution he had found. Somehow, without knowing it, my bodywork and the clarity of mind the comes immediately post-orgasm created the perfect conditions for his problem solving subconscious.

This and other interactions lead me to start thinking about and discussing energetic exchange. I don’t really buy into energy work such as reiki and acupuncture but I do think it reasonable to acknowledge things like body language, the placebo effect, and the contagion of moods. I absorb my client’s mood but is it through energetic flow back and forth or is it subtle cues in his body language? The placebo effect is well documented and supports the idea that your mind has much more influence over your body than we like to think. Is this a case of my energy effecting yours or is it a physiological domino effect starting with a conviction?

In our segment on energetic healing, our teacher made a very good point. What lets me see you (light), feel you (electricity and heat), hear you (sound), and respond to you (nonverbal cues) are all forces, energies we send back and forth to each other. Even our own gravitational attraction to each other is great. Some people are synesthetes who combine and confuse color and flavor and sound. Some people are empaths who can discern the truth of a statement in your eyes. We all, in some way, exchange signals with each other. I call it body language, someone else calls it energy. However I explain it, I know how to use it to help create an experience for you, only for you, that brings you satisfaction and more.