It didn’t work.
Early last year I was suffering from some pretty heavy duty burnout. Between work, travel, friends, volunteering, writing, and event planning, I wasn’t happy. Somehow, I cosmically projected this and the world manifested an enforced vacation. As of December, I have very few stressors and I’m loving it.
There is, however, one left.
The cost difference between the table focused bodywork I offer and the bed-based bodywork I offer is… almost absurd. One is exactly half of the other, despite being no less legally risky or time intensive. It does not require half the energy, time, or effort as other activities. Finding this balance unsatisfactory, when I returned FBSM to my offerings, I resolved to expend half the energy and raise rates only marginally. I would keep to a rigid timetable, keep chit chat to a minimum, offer nothing but the best erotic massage I could, and hopefully help keep from burning out again.
I failed in two perfectly opposite ways.
For the first time ever, someone declined to return because getting intimate with someone they hadn’t yet gotten to know just wasn’t for them. You see I had, in previous blog posts, advised new clients to try massage first. This was in the days where we would sit and chat for a while first, playful and smiling, establishing a mutual like for each other that made table time a step in a budding relationship as opposed to a somewhat clinical standalone session. This poor young man was thrust into an intimate situation without proper introductions. My attempt to guard my energy had worked. I didn’t like it.
And so, over the past few months, as I inevitably slipped back into patterns comfortable to me, I chit chatted and relaxed and everyone enjoyed themselves much more, the hours stretched to 75 minutes, 80 minutes, 90… and in the back of my head a little voice repeated: stop giving away your time!
I used to love my two hour FBSM appointments until I noticed that, aside from the average quantity of laundry, they were just as difficult, and as fun, as any other two hours spent with my lovers. I began to compare the two and would up eliminating the two hour FBSM from my offerings. Would you accept half your salary at your job just because you completed a different task?
These were all mistakes. My attempts to hoard time and energy, to cheat my burnout problem, while still staying affordable* to a wider variety of lovers only short changed us both.
So I’m trying something different, inspire once again by my friend and colleague. For FBSM booked before March 31, rates and conditions stand unless you opt into changes. For FBSM booked after March 31:
1 hour: 350$, for returning clients only
90 minutes: 500$ (550$ new clients)
2 hours: 600$ (650$ new clients)
Finition Francais: Opt-out
It does remain a one-way experience. Time for you to relax and do nothing but enjoy yourself. Grabby hands will not be rewarded and I’ll do my best to leave conversation on the couch. I learned during massage school that I am incapable of both talking and giving my best massage at the same time.
But man it’ll be good to get back to the old days when my wide-eyed wonder turned every body into a magical jungle gym and I truly had enough time to know you. To the days when I felt awe every time someone walked through my door. I’m not jaded, I have too many excellent loves to be jaded, but I’m a lot less naive than I was.
*Who am I kidding? This is about as affordable as “affordable housing” downtown. Please know I don’t take this lightly. In my utopia, everyone has access to affordable, quality providers in every industry but we don’t live there. I continue to offer discounts to Womxn and transgender folk, a nod to historic discrimination.