Bienvenue! Welcome to my corner of the world wide web. In these pages you will find all manner of things to whet the appetite: sensual images for thirsty eyes, kind words for hungry minds, and clear instructions for anxious hearts.
Je m’appelle Amie Petite, et je suis votre petite amie pour ce soir.
First thing’s first: I do not speak French 🤣 I love France, I have been several times and will certainly go again, I love French food, French wine, and the French language. I got ahead of myself when I decided I was going to learn French and didn’t realize how long it would take. Duolingo would have you believe I speak at “level 52” but I was thoroughly humbled when I field tested that assertion.
I chose the name Amie Petite because it was fun. It sounded nice, it spoke to my role in this world and my interests at the time, and because I was sure that by the time I hit 735 days of practicing daily, I could maybe say more than “my turtle is eating an orange” in soft, breathy, sensual French. And it felt more cosmopolitan. And because I needed a name to put in my bio, and it was better than the last one.
Some years later, I feel far less need to search for a lofty identity.
So how does one describe oneself when sharing with strangers? How do I convey that I am both heckin chill and also fabulous? Stunning but not intimidating? Strong and also soft? Is it in numbers?
I’m between 61 and 62 inches tall, depending on the time of day.
I weight around 130 pounds and the fancy scale at the gym says I have 25% body fat.
My hair falls to my shoulder blades now; the longest strands are over 12 inches, but I’ve cut it down to only a few inches before and it grows fast. In the winter it’s a chestnut brown with copper threads and in the summer the top layers turn shimmering bronze.
My feet wear a size six, bigger if I want to wear a thick, warm, squishy socks, smaller for delicate heels over backseam stockings, and I haven’t had a pedicure in ages.
My bra size was 32DD a few years ago but haven’t been sized recently and none of them fit anymore. For clothes, I don’t even bother. I can wear a six, a four, a three, and a two if it’s the right manufacturer. Who knows these days?
I can do 8 pull ups and 32 push ups in two minutes, I can dead lift 205 pounds twice and only twice, and I have been known to demolish a full box of samoas in a single, ill-advised sitting.
I have eight crafting projects going at any given moment, three books on hold at the library, and twelve different tea blends in my cupboard. I’ve been playing guitar for eight weeks and working up to hand stands for six.
I’ve been in the erotic industry for 14 years, spent one each learning massage therapy and sexual education, and for the most recent six I welcome guests into a grand, secure, and private apartment.
I’ve written over 300 blog posts on a variety of topics, and spent an uncountable number of hours scrolling and sometimes commenting on Reddit.
While we’re doing deets, let’s talk about my apartment.
Without giving too much away, I can say there’s a bed big enough for three, a generous bathroom with a shower and good old doctor bronner’s soaps, heavy drapes concealing a warmed massage table, refreshments such as tea, water, and chocolate, and…
you may want to sit down for this…
Free, off-street, covered parking.
Hot, I know. it’s ok if you need a moment. It’s also wheelchair accessible.
It boasts tall ceilings and more books than I strictly need. There are also more personal touches than necessary, it having become a home away from home during pandemic, and with a nook just large enough for a crafting projects table. You’ll notice, if you look around, things like a replica of Carrie Fisher’s Iconic white dress, a signed poster of the cast of Stargate SG-1 (sadly post-Richard Dean Anderson-era), and several vintage jewelry items that are still searching for a home.
So the girl is legit, the location is lit, but… can you tap it?
Forgive me. I’m trying to be cool but I think all I’ve succeeded in doing is what the youths are calling “cringe”. HA! Prepare yourself for an onslaught of bad wordplay.
Well my friend that’s a tough question to answer because I can make no promises. In the ten plus years since I took my first call I’ve had exactly one person walk out before we were done, and kicked out only one more. Aside from that, I seem to have managed to find something fun to do with each and every friendly fellow (and a small but glorious number of ladies) who walk through my door.
We generally begin with a visit over hot tea or cold water. I like to know a bit about you, get and give a vibe check, and let you settle in before we get too cozy and comfy (though I find that a long hug takes the edge off, as does draping my legs over your knees). Once you’ve had a shower (don’t want to risk me discovering any aromatics when we’re already in the midst of things) and availed yourself of a robe, our visiting almost invariably gets more physical. Sometimes it takes a full half hour for everyone’s nervous system to come down, but my terrible time management skills show themselves most often during the first and final minutes of our time together. That is to say I’m nearly always five minutes behind, and I shan’t eject you early.
Once we’ve made our move, the rest of our time together will be organic, varied, likely pleasurable for both of us, and end with a hot towel and cold tea. Whether you prefer to lie back and think of the queen or enjoy a vigorous ride, whether you want to be ravished or coddled, wherever your body is in this moment, I can assure you that I can put you at ease. I accept respectful, curious clients of any shape, size, color, gender expression, (legal) age, ability level, experience level, and background. I get along best with clients who are dorks, nerds, artsy types, fun, earnest, chatty, and maybe a little shy. Nothing excites me more than hearing about your passion project and seeing pictures of your pets.
Now. On to the how-to’s
First: you’ve seen my rates. They’re right here. They’re more or less inclusive for what they are; I don’t upsell or upgrade. I don’t require deposits as a rule, though I will request them in the case of an unusually long appointment, travel, or previous unreliability. I’d like you to bring it with you, in an envelope or a book preferably, but however you wish, and leave it on a little white plate a few steps inside my door. Should you prefer digital methods, please let me know ahead of time and we can see if there’s something that works for both of us.
Second: I have forms. I love my forms. My forms will remind you of my rates, my calendar, my screening requirements, my cancellation policy, deposits if necessary, and they collect all that lovely and necessary info in one tidy place so my assistant doesn’t have to chase you down for deets. She is patient. I am indulgent. Please help us stay that way.
Third: my assistant is amazing. We’ve been working together for almost a decade and she knows me well. She is also about ten times as fast as I am on replies, and twice as patient. If she hasn’t responded to an email, or a form, it’s because she’s waiting on me to answer a question or make a decision, or there’s been a technical malfunction. Even if your screening doesn’t pan out, or your optimal appointment time(s) aren’t available, you will get a follow up.
Finally: It’s going to be ok. I don’t bite*. Even if you accidentally do something you’re not “supposed to” I am good at communicating in the moment, and no longer run from difficult conversations. Whether this is your first time ever or you’re an old hand at this, If you’ve read this far, and are nodding along, I’m certain we’ll have a good time.
*That’s a lie. I definitely bite. But only with consent.