I wrote a few months ago on boundaries. How the maintenance of physical and mental boundaries is our gift to each other; provider and client. I keep you safe by taking great care and you respect me by returning it. I wrote of the times I failed to maintain boundaries and so lost budding relationships. Today I’d like to write about those who help me help you.
“I wish it wasn’t weird to send provider’s significant other’s Christmas gifts.”
I looked at him, quizzical and surprised. “What? Why? That IS weird.”
“They keep you going for us” he explained, “I don’t have to worry about you because I know you have someone to go home to. I don’t have to worry about your life because you’ve already got someone for that. It makes me feel so secure, knowing that.”
It was a short conversation but it comes back clearly even three years later. Those of us who are strong on our own or with our network of girl friends are to be admired and learned from. They’ve taught themselves, or learned the hard way, how to give the gift of boundary keeping and keep on giving. As for myself and many others, we have a hidden reservoir of willpower back home. He is a living, breathing reminder of all you and I stand to lose if I let myself go too far. A human being who provides support, understanding, forgiveness, accountability, and love. Without this reservoir, this anchor grounding me, I would not have the patience, the care, the joy, or the willpower to create every session, complete and individual, and do it for the variety and volume I sustain. For my birthday, I get to receive clients knowing that my aftercare is coming, the pleasurable and joyful energy I spend with you in my treatment room will be replenished, and it will be the best birthday ever.
Happy Valentine’s Day my loves. I can’t wait to see you again!