At least mine is. We don’t always see eye-to-eye and I know she wouldn’t be happy with this particular life choice I’ve made, but we talk. Real talk. And despite out opposing ideas on how exactly to reach our goal, we both have the same one: make life better.
A lot of folks don’t have moms, either ever or anymore. Still more folks have moms who make their lives, if not worse, than at least not better. So I count myself among the lucky folks who love their moms and believe that they wouldn’t be the strong, interesting people they are without them.
My mom spent some time as a survival sex worker in her teenage years. What little I know of it leads me to believe that it would very easily fall under the ‘defrauded and coerced’ elements of the human trafficking definition, aside from the fact that she was still basically a kid. That a woman with that in her past managed to turn me out is a pretty clear sign that sex work, even the involuntary and abusive kind, doesn’t render women helpless or unable to make good choices moving forward.
She’s a thoughtful woman, taking her time with decisions, though some still come out not quite right. I’m learning to emulate the things in her that I admire: calm, quiet conversation, a self deprecating sense of humor, loyalty, faith in a cause, hope for the future.
I don’t want to dig too deep into my history, or my mom’s (gotta save something for the memoir, ha!) so I’ll leave you with this: I hope there’s a mom in your life that can lend you inspiration. It doesn’t have to be your mom, god knows there are other inspiring moms in my life, but someone who has been through the unique and all encompassing trial of creating life, bearing it, raising it, and loving it even when it fucks up. Step moms, moms-in-law, grand-moms, aunt moms, adopted moms, and the mothers of your chosen family. Take a moment to remember the things that make you smile.
And also order flowers today for whichever woman you’ll catch hell from if you forget! 😉