I made an attempt at rewriting ‘A Visit from St Nick’ as a sex worker poem, about a man visiting a new provider after the stress of the holidays. That sounded a lot simpler than it turned out to be. The only part that came quickly was The rewrite of
“
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call’d them by name:
“Now! Dasher, now! Dancer, now! Prancer and Vixen,
“On! Comet, on! Cupid, on! Dunder and Blixem;
“To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
“Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
“
To
“
Pleasure in waves, her orgasm came
And she moaned, and groaned, and swore in my name
Oh! Fuck me, Oh! Jesus, Oh! Come on my tits
Oh! Hell yes, oh! Dear God, I love it like this
From the tips of my toes to the top of my head
I’m coming, I’m coming, stop and your dead!
“
Although in rereading that it makes it sound like the client is the reason for the season, haha! Ideas for next year perhaps?
Anyway, since my creative juices obviously don’t flow in the structured poetry department, I gave up and decided to simply say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Joyous Festivus, Happy Hanukah, Feliz Navidad, Blessed Solstice, Peaceful Noel, and whatever well wishes you so desire this year . I hope that your favorite people are near and happy, and that, if all else fails, you give yourself a nice massage in the new year.